


Qualified

by sophene



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Capes, Alternate Universe - Office, Bat Family, Everyone Is Gay, Multi, Rated for Jason's Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-10-27 12:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophene/pseuds/sophene
Summary: Dick Grayson is an intern working for Mr. Wayne at Wayne Enterprises. When a better position opens up, Dick decides he wants the job. Unfortunately for him, the other interns will be going for the job as well.





	1. Chapter One

Dick was late to work on the day Mr. Wayne made the announcement.

The universe evidently hated him, because he slipped into the office right in the middle of the morning briefing meeting. As usual, Mr. Wayne was standing in the doorway to his office next Alfred’s desk. He glanced over at Dick as he snuck in, but didn’t call him out in front of the rest of the department for being late.

“Before you all go back to your work today, I do have one last bit of sad news to share,” Mr. Wayne said. “Alfred Pennyworth, who has been my personal assistant since I took over Wayne Enterprises at the young age of eighteen, will be retiring on the first of March.”

Dick’s jaw dropped, and a murmur of shock went through the crowd.

Mr. Wayne cleared his throat, and everyone fell silent again.

“It goes without saying that Alfred will be greatly missed here at Wayne Enterprises, but he has earned his rest and relaxation a thousand times over. Please help me congratulate Alfred and thank him for his hard work.”

At once, all of them broke out into a roar of clapping and whistling. Mr. Wayne clapped with them, and those who had been seated stood up to give him a standing ovation. Stephanie shouted, “We love you Alfred!” and Alfred’s lip twitched into a small smile as the rest of the crowd laughed. There wasn’t a single one of them who had negative feelings about Alfred.

“There will be a reception for Alfred on his last day, of course,” Mr. Wayne said when they were done clapping. “Until then, Alfred has graciously offered to help me find his replacement. We encourage those of you who are interested in the job to apply.”

“You may ask me any question at all you have about the position,” Alfred said.

“Yes, please see me or Alfred if you have questions, and I hope you will all join us for Alfred’s retirement reception on the first. Thank you, everyone. That is all I have to tell you today.”

Dick wanted to go congratulate Alfred right away, but the silver-haired man was swarmed by a horde of people. Deciding he’d speak to Alfred later, Dick turned around and headed back to the back of the office and around the corner to his desk.

He arrived at the same time as Jason. As usual, Jason’s button down shirt was wrinkled and untucked. He whistled as he threw himself into his desk chair.

The office was set up as an open workspace, with several clusters of four desks that had low partitions. The design was supposed to encourage open communication and efficiency, but since Dick’s desk was across from Jason’s, there were plenty of times when the office’s layout had the opposite effect that it was supposed to have.

“Alfred leaving,” Jason said, shaking his head again as he logged into his computer. “Hard to believe.”

Someone walked behind Dick and around to the desk at Dick’s left. It was Tim. He nodded his head at Dick, ignored Jason, and sat down, pushing the power button on his computer as he settled in.

“Morning Tim,” Dick said, smiling at him. Then he looked across at Jason and said, “Yeah, I know. Alfred loves Mr. Wayne. I figured he’d stay here forever.”

“Well, good for him,” Jason said. Then he started jabbing at his keyboard with a finger and muttered, “Piece of shit computer. You know I thought for sure we were going to come in one day and find Alfred dead at his desk.”

Dick didn’t respond, but he saw Tim shoot Jason a disapproving look before he looked back down at his screen and started typing away at a furious pace. Listening to Tim type so fast made Dick feel guilty enough that he finally powered on his own computer.

“Nice work walking in late in front of everyone, by the way,” Jason said. Then, in a mocking tone, he said, “Oversleep?”

Dick ignored the tone and said, “Nope, just running late. Traffic and all that.”

Jason snorted, but didn’t say anything else, thank god.

Dick’s computer was at least on when Duke arrived.

“Hey man,” Jason said to him. “You talk to Alfred already?”

“Yeah, just now,” Duke said. Then, in a much quieter voice he said, “Heads up, the girls are heading back.”

Sure enough, Dick could hear Stephanie coming before he could even see any of them. Stephanie talked loud enough for all four of the department’s female interns, although Harper could occasionally give her a run for her money.

“Babs, please?” Stephanie was saying. “If I fail this midterm I’m going to get a D in the class and then I’m just going to have to retake it next semester.”

“I told you to talk to your professor weeks ago,” Barbara said.

Barbara came around the corner in her wheelchair first. Stephanie, Harper, and Cass were following in a little herd behind her.

“But you speak German! How come you won’t help me?” Stephanie asked.

“Hi boys,” Barbara said, waving at them before she went on the rest of the way to her desk.

The rest of the girls acted like they didn’t notice any of them, except for Stephanie, who put a hand on top of Tim’s head and started messing up his hair. He batted her hand away, but didn’t look away from his monitor.

“Cass would help me, wouldn’t you Cass?” Stephanie said as she sat down at her desk. Her spot was right behind Tim’s.

“Of course,” Cass said, smiling at her.

Stephanie beamed at Cass and held a hand out over the partition between their desks. Cass reached over to grab it. Barbara rolled her eyes as Cass and Stephanie clasped hands and grinned at each other.

“Cass is a true friend,” Stephanie said, and Barbara rolled her eyes.

The conversation was derailed a little bit when Jason started whistling something that sounded kind of like Coldplay’s Clocks. This was confirmed when he started whispering the lyrics in a terrible falsetto a little while later. Dick saw Harper turn her head and shoot Jason a side-eyed look, but she didn’t say anything. Harper was pretty new to WE, and not quite over finding Jason intimidating yet.

“Could you stop singing please?” Tim asked Jason, still not looking up from his work.

Jason ignored him and whispered, “ _Yoooouuuuuuuu_ , _ohhhhhhh_ —”

Tim finally looked up and stared over his monitor at Jason, somehow managing to convey utter exasperation with his flat expression.

Stephanie had been with WE a lot longer than Harper, and was impervious to both Jason’s intimidating personality and his annoyingness.

“Guys I am so sad about Alfred leaving,” she said as she clacked away at her keyboard. She was about to say something else, but then her desk phone rang. She picked it up and, in her brightest, cheeriest voice, said, “Wayne Enterprises Corporate Office, Stephanie Brown speaking. How may I help you today?” There was a pause. “Oh hey Kara! What’s going on?”

After that they all got so busy that they didn’t really get a chance to chat amongst themselves for a while. They all had phones to answer, errands to run for Mr. Wayne and the non-intern employees, and other individual assignments to work on in the meantime.

For once Dick was glad about the fact that his current project was so easy and boring that he could let his mind wander, because he needed some time to think through the day’s development.

Of course Dick was sad that Alfred was leaving. He loved Alfred—they all did. On the other hand, Alfred’s position as Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant opening up now was kind of a godsend. Dick wasn’t qualified for most of the full-time-with-benefits kind of jobs that WE usually had open on account of the fact that he’d never taken a college class in his life. That was why he’d been stuck as an intern for so long. He was the oldest of the interns, and had been there the longest.

Personal assistants at WE didn’t need a college degree, though. If he got the job, Dick would make enough money to move out of his current apartment and get his own place. It would be stressful, sure—Dick didn’t even know how Alfred was still sane and standing after all of these years—but it would solve so many of his problems.

He _had_ to get that job.

Dick kept working, and before he knew it, over three hours had passed. He was just returning to his desk from grabbing some coffee in the break room when he overheard Duke stuck on a difficult phone call.

“—of course we do, Mr. Cobblepot, but at this time Wayne Enterprises isn’t—”

There was a lot of yelling coming from the other end of the line. Duke held the phone away from his ear until it died down.

“Sir, I could help you find—”

There was more yelling and Duke stopped talking again.

Finally the yelling died down and Duke said, “I will pass that feedback along to my supervisor.”

Then there was a pause. Duke pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it.

“He hung up,” Duke explained when he saw Dick watching. He slammed the phone onto the receiver and said, “What a dick. I’m so glad it’s Friday.”

“Yeah, same,” said Dick.

“Don’t you have your weekend job to go to tonight?” Jason asked Dick.

Dick shot Jason a warning look over his monitor and said, “Not tonight.”

“Then you should come to The Outlaw with me.”

“As I have reminded you a thousand times, I don’t drink,” Dick said.

“So have a Shirley Temple you fucking child,” Jason said.

At that moment Stephanie returned from an errand and said, “Who is having a Shirley Temple?”

“Every time I ask Dick to hang out with me he makes up some kind of excuse for why he can’t. It’s starting to hurt my feelings,” Jason told her.

“Ooh, are we hanging out tonight?” she asked.

“No,” Dick said.

“Why not?” Stephanie said.

“ _I_ am going to The Outlaw,” Jason said. “Whatever the rest of you choose to do with your pathetic lives is none of my business.”

“Wasn’t a body found in the dumpster behind The Outlaw last year?” Tim asked, as usual not taking his eyes away from his screen.

“This is Gotham. They’ve found a body in literally every dumpster,” Jason said.

“I’ll go with you to The Outlaw, Jason,” Duke said.

Jason cocked an eyebrow and said, “You old enough to get in?”

“I turned 21 in July,” Duke said.

“Cool,” Jason said, then turned to Dick and said, “I rescind my offer to hang out. Duke is 21 now and he’s better than you anyway.”

“I’m going too!” Stephanie said. “Cass, are you in?”

Dick looked over and saw Cass nod. Stephanie cheered.

“Wait, is everybody going now?” Dick asked.

“Babs?” Stephanie said.

“No,” Barbara said. Dick wasn’t surprised, and even Stephanie wasn’t bullheaded enough to argue with her.

“What about you Harper?” Stephanie asked.

“Sure,” Harper said, shrugging. “Sounds fun.”

“Yay! Tim?” Stephanie said.

There was a pause. Dick thought for sure that Tim was going to say no.

“Sure,” Tim finally said.

Stephanie was the one who asked him, but even she looked shocked. Tim wouldn’t even sit with them in the cafeteria during lunch. He was always working through lunch or making up some excuse to sneak out of the building.

Stephanie took it in stride.

“Ok, cool then,” she said. “So that’s me, Cass, Harper, Tim, Jason, and Duke. What about you, Dick? Change your mind?”

Now that it was turning into a team affair, Dick was considering it in a different light. He didn’t have to work at his other job that evening, which almost never happened. Also, considering the fact that they spent so much time together, Dick didn’t know that much about the others except for the casual drop of information here and there. He probably should spend some time getting to know these people who he saw every day.

Plus it would be a good opportunity to find out who else was going to be applying for Alfred’s job.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll go,” Dick said.

Stephanie clapped her hands and jumped up and down.

“The whole fam!” she said. Then she shot a look at Barbara, who looked like she wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation anymore, and said, “Well, almost the whole fam. This is so exciting! It’s going to be so much fun!”

* * *

Dick had never particularly cared for bars. They were dark, they were dirty, and he didn’t drink alcohol, so he didn’t understand the appeal. The Outlaw was much more relaxed than Dick was expecting, however. Jason didn’t have terrible taste in bars after all, as it turned out.

The seven of them found a big enough table at the back of the bar and crammed around it. Dick was squashed between Tim and Cass. Stephanie was sitting on Cass’s other side. Across the table from them, Jason, Duke, and Harper sat in a row. Everybody was drinking except for Dick, who’d ordered a water.

For the first hour the conversation stayed on safe, familiar WE topics. They talked about how much they were going to miss Alfred, and about how Mr. Wayne was probably going to fall apart without him. After that they started telling their best Mr. Wayne stories, and Stephanie did a re-enactment of the time she saw Mr. Wayne eating nachos in the cafeteria. Then somehow the conversation got around to Mr. Dent, Mr. Wayne’s attorney.

“I swear to god, the day we find out he’s secretly been two people all along, I will not even be fucking surprised,” Jason said.

“There was this one time when I accidentally told him that he was meeting Mr. Wayne at 3:30 when his appointment was really at 3:40 and he looked me dead in the eyes and said that I was a waste of oxygen,” Stephanie said.

“What? That’s wild. He’s only ever been super nice to me,” Harper said.

Steph scoffed and said, “Just wait.”

Next to Dick, Tim flipped over his phone. Notifications had been blowing up his screen all night, and he hadn’t been participating that much in their conversation, except for the occasional comment here and there about Mr. Wayne.

So it wasn’t that much of a surprise when Tim said, “I have to go.”

“What? No!” Stephanie said.

“Sorry,” Tim said, shrugging. “I have some other plans tonight. I had fun, though. We should do this again sometime.”

“Tiiiiiim,” Stephanie whined as he slid out of the booth. “Don’t go, please?”

“Sorry,” he said.

He waved at them, turned, and walked away. They watched him head through the door.

As soon he’d left, Jason turned back around and said, “Ok, now that he’s gone, can I just say that I fucking hate that guy?”

Dick was pretty sure the feeling was mutual, but he still frowned and said, “What’s wrong with Tim?”

“Where do I start? He’s weird, he’s messy, he has no sense of humor. He has to be the one who hacked into my computer last month and downloaded every episode of Teen Wolf.”

Dick tried not to smile. Tim was absolutely the one who had downloaded every episode of Teen Wolf on Jason’s work computer. IT got all up in arms about it and it was hilarious.

“If he is the one who downloaded every episode of Teen Wolf on your computer then you can’t say he has no sense of humor,” Dick said.

“He’s really nice once you get to know him,” Stephanie said. “He’s a little private, but he was so helpful when Cass and I got sent to help R&D move out of their old office back in June. Right Cass?”

Cass nodded.

“I’m just saying, if he’s applying for Alfred’s position then that little asshole is going down,” Jason said.

“Do you really think he’ll apply?” Duke asked, frowning.

“Of course he will,” Jason said. “Tim is obsessed with Mr. Wayne. He basically stalks him already. Do you think he’d pass up an opportunity to do it for a living?”

“So, you are also applying for Alfred’s job, then?” Dick said.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Jason said.

Dick wasn’t surprised or that concerned about it. Jason and Mr. Wayne had a difficult relationship. He even got fired from WE for a while and just got rehired a couple of months ago. Mr. Wayne wanting to make Jason the person he worked with the most every day was unlikely.

“Why would you want to be Mr. Wayne’s personal assistant?” Dick asked him. “Your entire life would revolve around him. Don’t you kind of hate him?”

“Don’t care,” Jason said. “I need that tuition reimbursement.”

Mr. Wayne was very generous to his employees—the non-interns, anyway. Full-time salaried employees got full benefits and tuition reimbursement, regardless of what major they were studying and whether or not it was related to their job. That was why so many WE employees were college students.

Most of the people sitting around the table with him were college students, actually. Jason, Harper, Duke, and Stephanie for sure. Cass maybe—she was kind of quiet, so Dick didn’t know much about her personal life.

“So who else is applying?” Dick asked, looking around at all of them.

“Me,” Stephanie said right away.

“Me too,” Duke said.

“Me as well,” Harper said.

Cass raised her hand.

“So, all of you,” Dick said. And, well...that was unfortunate.

“What about you, Dick?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, I am,” Dick said.

Jason whistled and said, “All of us. Well, it was nice being friends for about ten seconds.”

“Aren’t you a little worried that mixing college with a job like Alfred’s a bad idea?” Dick asked them.

Stephanie brightened up and said, “Yes, but I’m graduating at the end of the semester!”

“Congratulations,” Dick said, and a murmur of congratulations went around the table, some of them more enthusiastic than the others.

It was kind of mean, but he wasn’t really that worried about her either. Stephanie was great, but she could be a little too overzealous sometimes, and her relationship with Mr. Wayne was rocky at best. Also, Kara Danvers, one of the reporters who worked across the street at the newspaper, was one of her best friends. Mr. Wayne was constantly having to tell Stephanie to stop leaking embarrassing stories about him to the press.

“What about you two?” Dick said, looking at Duke and Harper.

“I’m only taking two classes at a time,” Duke said. “I can balance that until I graduate. Being a business major isn’t that hard.”

Dick had no idea whether or not that was true. He looked at Harper next. He knew she was studying electrical engineering.

“I mean...yeah, it would be a lot,” she said. “But the tuition reimbursement. Plus it would be nice to make more. I haven’t been working for WE for very long, so I’m probably not going to get it, but my brother is going to be graduating from high school soon and I would like to be able to help him go to college if that’s what he wants.”

“That’s so sweet, Harper,” Stephanie said, then she laughed. “Way sweeter than why I want the job. I just want to move out of my mom’s house.”

Dick looked around Stephanie over at Cass and said, “What about you? Why do you want the job?”

Cass thought about the question for a moment. No one spoke while they waited for her answer.

At last Cass said, “I like Mr. Wayne.”

Then she smiled. Dick figured that was all they were going to be able to get out of her, which was a shame, because out of all of them he had a feeling she was his biggest competition for the job.

Dick thought one of them was going to ask him why he was applying for the job next, so he was kind of annoyed when Harper said, “If Barbara is applying then we’re all doomed. Mr. Wayne loves her. I think he would adopt her if he could.”

Stephanie shook her head and said, “Nah, she won’t.”

“Why not?” Duke asked.

“She’s in graduate school. She’s just doing this until she’s done,” Stephanie said.

“Really? Studying what?” Duke asked.

“Library science,” Dick said.

Duke raised his eyebrows and said, “Well, good. If Barbara is out then that leaves Tim, and if he wants it then we don’t stand a chance.”

Stephanie raised her eyebrows and nodded, and Jason frowned and narrowed his eyes. Harper chewed on one of her nails. Dick just smiled to himself a little.

“Tim’s pretty good at IT stuff. He could’ve transferred ages ago, so why doesn’t he?” Harper asked.

“I told you. It’s because he’s obsessed with Mr. Wayne,” Jason said.

Duke groaned and said, “Then he’s definitely going to apply for the job.”

“Frankly I’m offended that you’re all so quick to assume that _Tim_ is your real competition,” Dick said.

They all looked over at him, frowning. In an almost indulgent way, Jason said, “You don’t think _you_ have a better shot than the rest of us, right?”

“Why, because I didn’t go to college? I don’t need a degree to be qualified for Alfred’s job. I’ve been working for WE the longest out of all of you, and Mr. Wayne and Alfred love me. I have been working two jobs this whole time so Mr. Wayne knows I’m a hard worker. So yeah, I have a shot. A better shot than the rest of you, I think.”

All at once, they all looked so much more alert and hungry than they had just a moment before.

“Ok man,” Jason said, shooting him a sharp smile. “Then I’m coming for you too.”

“Really Jason?” Dick asked, cocking his head. “Really? You got called into Mr. Wayne’s office three times last week. I’m willing to bet there’s not a single person at this table who thinks you have a real shot.”

Jason glowered around the table at all of them. Stephanie, bless her, was the only one among them who pursed her lips and shook her head at Jason, while the rest of them looked sheepish and avoided eye contact.

“Ok, first of all, fuck all of you,” Jason said, pointing at them. “I bet I can at least get a second interview.” He pointed at Cass and said, “Second, my money is on Cass getting the job”—Cass sat up a little straighter and smiled—“but if not her then definitely me.”

“I still think Tim is going to get it,” Harper said.

“I am smart and delightful,” Stephanie said, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “I’m definitely going to get it. You guys are going to regret betting against me.”

“Wait, are we actually betting? And also I’m with Harper. I think Tim is going to get it,” Duke said.

“We can make actual bets,” Jason said.

“Because that’s not a recipe for disaster,” Dick said.

“I want the job,” Cass said.

“Wow, not a single one of you thinks I can get it,” Dick said. “Offensive. When I get the job, the first thing I’m going to do is recommend that you all get moved to the night shift.”

Stephanie shot him an appraising look and said, “I would love that actually.”

“Yeah, same,” Harper said. “Ideal time.”

Duke frowned and looked like he was about to object, but then Stephanie said, “Never mind, I’m betting on Dick just because I want this night shift thing.”

Jason, ever a lover of chaos, cackled and said, “Alright, how much, blondie?”

He pulled out his phone to write it down and Stephanie said, “Twenty dollars.”

“Come on, that’s it?” Jason said.

“Well how much are you betting?” Stephanie asked.

“Wow, this is why coworkers and alcohol really shouldn’t mix,” Dick said.

“Betting was your idea, jackass,” Jason said.

“It's an expression! I wasn’t serious,” Dick said, but every single one of them ignored him and started shouting out names and dollar amounts at Jason.

As Dick watched them all cheerfully bet against each other, he thought to himself that there was no way this wouldn't end badly for all of them. One particular outcome was certain: this was going to be a disaster.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick arrived just before 7. The lights were still off in the office, and since he didn’t see anybody else, Dick didn’t bother to turn them on. The office was nice like this—dark and kind of peaceful. He was looking forward to having the place to himself for a little while.
> 
> So it was kind of alarming to walk down to walk down to the interns’ corner and find Tim sitting at his desk in the dark, already working.

The baby cried all Sunday night and Monday morning. Dick was exhausted from working all weekend, but the walls in his apartment were basically made out of paper, so eventually he rolled out of bed and decided it was probably a good idea to head up to WE early anyway. He did want to make a good impression after all. So he put on some brand new slacks and the blue shirt that matched his eyes, and he headed up to WE.

Dick arrived just before 7. The lights were still off in the office, and since he didn’t see anybody else, Dick didn’t bother to turn them on. The office was nice like this—dark and kind of peaceful. He was looking forward to having the place to himself for a little while.

So it was kind of alarming to walk down to walk down to the interns’ corner and find Tim sitting at his desk in the dark, already working.

“Jesus!” Dick said when he saw him. “Tim?”

Tim turned his head and gazed up at him, owlish and unblinking. He said, “Dick?”

“What the hell are you doing here this early?” Dick asked.

Tim looked at the time on his screen and said, “Couldn’t sleep. What are you doing here so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Dick said.

“Hmm,” Tim said, and turned back to his screen.

“What time did you get here?” Dick asked.

Tim thought about it and said, “I don’t know. An hour ago?”

“At 6 a.m.? I didn’t even know we could get into the building that early,” Dick said. He went to his desk and dumped his phone and his keys next to the keyboard.

“Gar has let me in at 5 before.”

“Who?” Dick asked.

“Garfield? One of the security guards. He works the desk at night,” Tim explained.  

“God, Tim. Do you always get here this early?” Dick asked.

“Well...not always,” Tim said, shrugging.

Then Tim went back to work, and he was way too busy to notice the assessing look that Dick was giving him.

Dick sat down at his own desk and turned his computer on. As soon as he was logged in he started sifting through the hundreds of emails that he’d received over the weekend, he decided not to be annoyed that Tim had beaten him into the office.

Tim’s style was what Dick internally called “insomniac IT guy chic”. Tim’s eyes were bloodshot, there was a huge coffee stain on his shirt over his heart, and his shirtsleeves were already rolled up to his elbows. He didn’t look the part of professional personal assistant at all, especially not compared to the spotless Alfred Pennyworth. Dick wondered how much that would matter to Mr. Wayne.

Tim and Dick didn’t talk much that morning. Mostly Tim sat there drinking enough coffee for six people and Dick tried to get a jump on responding to emails before the Monday morning calls started coming in.

The others slowly started trickling in as the sun rose over Gotham.

Duke was in first, after him and Tim. Dick looked up when he walked around the corner and could see the disappointment on his face when he realized he wasn’t the first one to arrive. Like Dick, he was a little more dressed up than usual, in black pants and a bright yellow shirt. It was a good color on him.

“Hey man,” Dick said, smiling up at him.

“Oh. Hey,” Duke said, and sat down.

Dick tried to ask him about his weekend, but Duke could be a little quiet—Dick thought maybe he was shy—so eventually he gave up trying to engage him in conversation.

Harper was the next one to show up, and she too looked disappointed to see them all there already. She was dressed the same as usual. Somehow she always managed to make her blue hair and piercings look stylish rather than trashy, and Dick couldn’t tell how she did it.

Cass showed up just a couple minutes after Harper. She was dressed the same as usual too, but like Harper there wasn’t much she needed to do to spruce up her appearance. It occurred to Dick, belatedly, that most of the women in the office put effort into looking nice on a regular basis, and he felt kind of guilty about that.

Only Jason, Barbara and Stephanie showed up at their usual times.

Barbara arrived at 8 a.m. on the dot. She was wearing her glasses, a skirt, and a green cardigan over a white button down shirt. She waved hello at them as usual then went right to her desk.

Jason showed up at 8:05. He was usually a few minutes late, but at least this morning he was wearing a red shirt that actually looked like it had been ironed.

Stephanie snuck in at 8:13 whispering, “Don’t tell Mr. Wayne don’t tell Mr. Wayne—ow—don’t tell Mr. Wayne—ow!”

“If we started snitching on each other now for lateness it would be bad for everybody,” Harper said as Stephanie limped over to her chair.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Stephanie said, and collapsed in her desk chair. Slumping back, she said, “God. I regret every choice I have ever made.”

Dick assumed she meant, in particular, the choice to wear a pair of black pumps instead of her usual purple flats.

“You look nice,” Dick told her.

“Thank you. I hate myself, but thank you,” she said.

“I like your shoes,” Cass said, smiling at Stephanie.

Stephanie seemed to brighten up a little, and she said, “Thanks!”

“Showing up in heels is unfair, by the way,” Jason said.

Stephanie gave him a disbelieving look and said, “Excuse me?”

“There’s only so much a guy can do to dress up and still have it be socially acceptable,” Jason said. “Heels are unfair.”

“For the record, if you boys decided to start wearing heels and skirts, I would be the very last person to complain. Although I highly doubt any of you could actually walk in them,” Stephanie said.

“Yeah, because you looked like such an expert walking in just now,” Jason said.

Stephanie glared at Jason.

“I can walk in heels. And I look really good in them,” Dick said.

Dick saw Duke turn to look at him out of the corner of his eye, but was too busy responding to an email to check to see if he was being judged.

“That information surprises no one,” Barbara said, and Harper snorted.

Dick grinned at Barbara over his shoulder, but then Alfred showed up and diverted their attention.

“Good morning,” Alfred said.

There was a chorus of good mornings from Dick and the other interns. Dick remembered he still hadn’t said congrats to Alfred about his retirement. He made a mental note to remember to do that sometime that day.

“I hope you all had a restful weekend, because there are several assignments that need to be completed today,” Alfred said.

Alfred looked down at his tablet and began tapping the screen.

“First, I will need at least three of you to go pick up the lunch order for today’s board meeting at Enigma’s Deli,” Alfred said, then looked up expectantly.

“I can go,” Duke said, and then Jason said, “Yeah, me too.”

Stephanie said, “I—” then seemed to remember she was wearing heels she couldn’t walk in and didn’t finish her sentence.

“I can go?” Cass said.

“Wonderful. So Duke, Cassandra, and Jason,” Alfred said, typing their names into his notes. He cleared his throat and said, “Next. Ms. Kyle is rather busy this week and has requested that someone go pick up her dress for Saturday’s charity event if there is someone who would be available.”

“I can!” Harper said, a little too fast.

Dick smirked and shook his head. It was a poorly concealed secret that Harper thought WE’s Chief Financial Officer was hot. Which, of course, she absolutely was.

“Wonderful. Thank you Harper. I will have Ms. Kyle email the address to you,” Alfred said. “Finally, I will need one volunteer who would be willing to go down to our social media department. Perhaps Miss Stephanie, since you seem to be something of a savant in that area?”

“Sure. Not to brag, but I do have over a thousand followers on Instagram,” Stephanie said, and swept her blonde hair over her shoulder.

Alfred smiled and said, “Timothy, Mr. Wayne does require your assistance with a technical issue of some kind this morning.”  

“Ok,” Tim said.

Jason frowned at Tim across the desks.

“That should leave Dick and Barbara to direct calls in the office this morning,” Alfred said.

Dick winced internally, wishing he had been quicker to volunteer for something a little more exciting.

“Please keep me updated throughout the day and let me know if you come across any hurdles,” Alfred said, and then he turned around to go deal with other problems.

The interns who had assignments and errands got up right away. Steph left first, grimacing through every step but not complaining anymore, and Tim got up without a word to go see what Mr. Wayne wanted.

Jason shot Dick a smug look as he got up to leave with Cass and Duke.

“Should’ve volunteered early,” he said.

“Wow, picking up lunch. Here’s your Nobel Peace Prize,” Dick said.

“Hey, going to pick up lunch is better than sitting around in the office all morning,” he said, and then he left with Cass and Duke.

When they were gone, Dick tapped his pen on his mouse and sulked for a couple of minutes.

“What was that about?” Barbara asked.

There was no one else around anymore, so Dick didn’t see the harm in telling her, “Jason and some of the other interns are taking bets over who is going to get Alfred’s job.”

Barbara shot him a disapproving look.

“Don’t look at me. I didn’t bet,” he said.

Barbara shook her head.

“I don’t suppose you’re applying?” he asked.

“Of course not,” she said.

“That’s what I guessed.”

“I don’t suppose it has occurred to any of you that an outside candidate could get it,” she said.

“I wouldn’t say that to them. It would just stress them out, and they’re stressed enough as it is,” Dick told her.

_He_ was stressed out enough as it was, but he didn’t say so. He thought back to that morning, about Lian crying at 3 a.m. and how the way Donna had dealt with it was walking out of the apartment and going over to her girlfriend’s place. There were places Dick could’ve gone too, perhaps, but he didn’t think it was a total monster for wishing there could be occasional peace in his own place.

He really, really needed Alfred’s job.

Barbara was about to tell him something else, but then the phone rang.

She picked up and said, “Wayne Enterprises corporate office, this is Barbara speaking. How may I help you?”

Dick got back to work.

* * *

The WE cafeteria was almost always crowded, so it was kind of a miracle when Dick managed to find an empty table.

Unfortunately, it didn’t stay empty for long. He was reading on his phone when Stephanie and Cass came over about five minutes later and invited themselves to join him.

“Ladies,” Dick said as they set their trays down.

“Hello,” Cass said, smiling at him.

Stephanie wasn’t limping anymore, and when Dick checked he saw it was because Stephanie was wearing a pair of yellow flats.

He looked over at Cass and said, “Did you two switch shoes?”

“We have the same shoe size!” Stephanie said. “Weird, right?”

Cass, Dick noticed, seemed to have no problem walking in Stephanie’s heels.

“I think Jason and Duke are joining us too, but they’re still in line,” Stephanie said.

Dick nodded and went back to his reading.

Dick considered himself to be a pretty sociable guy ordinarily, but he was kind of annoyed that out of all of the places Stephanie and Cass could’ve gone, they chose to sit with him. Like all of the interns didn’t spend enough time sitting in a room together as it was.

Fortunately, Cass and Steph were pretty distracted talking about some show they were both watching. They ate as they argued about whether or not a character was going to turn evil by the end of the season, and since Dick had never watched the show they were talking about, he didn’t feel compelled to eavesdrop.

He was reading again when Jason and Duke showed up. Dick looked up when they came over and watched Jason sit down next to Stephanie. That left only one open chair on Dick’s left. Duke hesitated and looked around the cafeteria for a minute, almost like he was looking for another spot. Then he finally sat down next to Dick.

_Interesting_ , Dick thought. Maybe Duke didn’t like him. Dick had no idea why not.

“Dickhead,” Jason said by way of a greeting.

“Jason,” Dick said. “How was picking up lunch?”

“It was great. How was answering phones all morning?”

“It was great,” Dick said. “I love answering phones.”

Jason snorted and turned back to Duke to ask him a question, effectively cutting Dick out of the conversation.

Dick kept reading.

Sooner or later Duke got involved in the conversation about the TV show with Stephanie and Cass. This was sidelined when Jason started complaining about the WE cafeteria food.

“What even is this?” Jason said, gesturing at something small and round and whitish on his fork.

“I think they’re water chestnuts,” Stephanie said. She stabbed one on her own plate with her fork and looked at it.

“What the fuck is a water chestnut?” he asked.

“It’s a vegetable,” Dick said.

“Thanks, I got that part,” Jason said. “Why are they in my food?”

Dick shrugged and said, “Vegetarian Mondays.”

“I would kill someone for a hamburger,” Jason said.

“I think they taste good,” Stephanie said, and Cass nodded.

Dick agreed with Cass and Steph. WE’s cafeteria food was actually decent most of the time, especially compared to what he had at home. If left to his own devices, Dick would probably have cereal for every meal. The portions of fruits and vegetables at WE kept him from getting scurvy.

Dick was about to say something in defense of water chestnuts when Duke cleared his throat and turned to Dick.

“So, um, I was wondering. What time did you and Tim show up to work this morning?” Duke asked him.

Dick looked at him, surprised, and said, “Well, I got in around 7. Tim said he got in sometime around 6.”

“A.m.?” Stephanie said. “Like, in the morning? Good god, why?”

Duke and Cass exchanged disbelieving looks and shook their heads.

“Yeah. He said he couldn’t sleep. From the sound of it he often comes in at that time. Apparently he knows the security guard who watches the desk at night,” Dick said.

“Not to be dramatic, but I would literally rather fucking die,” Jason said. “I can’t even imagine my life being so pathetic that I would come into work two hours early for no reason.”

“Why did you come in so early?” Stephanie asked Dick, narrowing her eyes.

“I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Sure,” Jason said. “I bet it has nothing to do with trying to convince Mr. Wayne that you work harder than the rest of us.”

“Well, a., Mr. Wayne didn’t roll into work until 10 and does that on the regular so coming in early is pointless. And b., I came in early because the baby cried all night and kept me up,” Dick said.

Cass, Duke, and Stephanie all exchanged mystified looks. Apparently Dick had neglected to tell them about this development.  

“Baby?” Jason said, raising an eyebrow. “You have a baby now?”

“Oh, god no. Roy’s baby. He’s one of my roommates. She’s six weeks old and...cries constantly. As babies do,” Dick said.

Stephanie winced in sympathy, then shook her head and said, “Well, there’s no way I’m dragging my ass out of bed to get to work at 6 a.m. I guess Tim is getting that job after all, so R.I.P. everyone.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Duke muttered.

Dick, again, smiled to himself.

Unfortunately, Jason saw him and said, “Ok, that is the second time you have done that. You did it on Friday night when we were talking about Tim and now you’re doing it again.”

Stephanie, while opening a package of crackers, looked over at Jason and said, “What are you talking about?”

“He keeps smiling every time we talk about Tim getting the job,” Jason said. “I want to know what it is that he knows that’s so funny.”

Dick rolled his eyes.

“It’s nothing. Just a theory I have.”

“About?” Stephanie said, raising her eyebrows.

“Tim,” Dick said.

“So let’s hear it,” Jason said.

Dick looked around the cafeteria to make sure that Tim wasn’t lurking nearby, then he turned back around and said, “Well, you know the kid?”

“The baby?” Jason said.

“No, not Roy’s baby,” Dick said, shaking his head. “Mr. Wayne’s kid.”

“Damian Wayne,” Cass said.

“Yes,” Dick said, pointing at her. “I have this theory about Mr. Wayne and Tim and that kid.”

“Is it that the kid is a menace and it’s Mr. Wayne’s fault?” Jason asked.

Dick ignored him and said, “My theory is that Mr. Wayne basically gives Damian whatever he wants.”  

“Yeah, you can tell because of vegetarian Mondays and Wednesdays in the WE cafeteria,” Jason said, picking up another water chestnut with his fork.

“So?” Stephanie asked.

“I happen to know for a fact that Damian Wayne hates Tim’s ’s guts,” Dick told him.

“What? Why?” Stephanie asked. “Isn’t he like seventeen? How do they even know each other?”

“They were next door neighbors for a while apparently,” Dick said.

Stephanie’s eyebrows shot up and she said, “Tim was neighbors with the Waynes? Jesus Christ. What’s he doing working as an intern at WE?”

“I don’t know,” Dick said.

“No wonder I hate him so much,” Jason said, narrowing his eyes. “I always knew there was something. And now I know. It’s because he’s a rich asshole just like Mr. Wayne.”

“I think a better question is why hasn’t Tim transferred to IT yet?” Duke asked.

“It’s because he’s obsessed with Mr. Wayne,” Jason said.

“I don’t know why Tim won’t transfer to IT. But as I said, Damian hates his guts. And if Damian hates him there’s no way he’s getting the job. Damian loves Alfred. He wouldn’t stand for Mr. Wayne hiring a personal assistant he hates,” Dick said.

Cass frowned and looked like she was considering it. The rest of them didn’t look so convinced.

“I think you’re overestimating the amount of power the kid has,” Jason said.

“Again,” Dick said, picking up some of his food with his fork. Noodles slid off back onto his plate and splashed sauce on the table.

“So Mr. Wayne added some vegetarian shit to the cafeteria,” Jason said, rolling his eyes.

“I stand by what I said. Get in good with the kid, and you’re golden,” Dick said. “And too bad for all of you, Damian Wayne loves me.”

“Interesting advice. A little weird, but interesting,” Stephanie said.

Abruptly, Dick was annoyed. He hadn’t asked any of them to sit with him—they just showed up and decided to sit with him, and now they weren’t taking him seriously when he talked about people he’d known for two years.

He wasn’t usually like this—it was the baby, and Roy, and the constant crying, and the fact that he could never get enough sleep, and the fact that he had to work seven days a week to get by. He needed some time on his own or he was going to snap at someone. He didn’t want that.

Maybe the break room upstairs was empty. If not, there was the gym. Dick could put on his headphones and work out for a while. Hopefully no one would bother him there.

“Well, watch Damian the next time he comes by the office,” Dick said, picking up his tray as he got up and left the table. “You’ll see. I’m right.”

He didn’t wait for any of them to reply or bother saying goodbye. Instead he left his tray and plate with the dishwashers and headed upstairs to look for some peace and quiet.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Morning,” Dick said to them. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
> 
> The others looked up at him. Duke mumbled a greeting but the others didn’t say anything.
> 
> “Oh come on,” Dick said as he sat down at his desk. “Don’t tell me you all hate Valentine’s Day.”
> 
> Jason looked up from his phone and glowered at him. Something about the glare was different from the usual annoyed looks he got from Jason, which could only mean he was actually mad this time and not just...being himself.

A couple of days went by in a flash and it was Valentine’s Day.

Dick liked Valentine’s Day. He wasn’t usually seeing anyone—at least, not seriously—but he liked people, and he liked complimenting them and telling them why he appreciated him. In his opinion, that was what Valentine’s Day was all about, not necessarily all of the romantic bullshit.

When Dick arrived in the interns’ corner at WE that morning, he could tell immediately that almost everyone was having a bad day. Duke was gazing mournfully at his computer, Jason was scowling down at his phone as he quickly tapped out a text, Barbara’s mouth was pinched in a frown, and Harper kept flicking at her phone screen in a distracted, sullen sort of way. Only Tim was working like normal, and Cass and Steph weren’t there yet.

“Morning,” Dick said to them. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The others looked up at him. Duke mumbled a greeting but the others didn’t say anything.

“Oh come on,” Dick said as he sat down at his desk. “Don’t tell me you all hate Valentine’s Day.”

Jason looked up from his phone and glowered at him. Something about the glare was different from the usual annoyed looks he got from Jason, which could only mean he was actually mad this time and not just...being himself.

Dick raised his eyebrows at him, but Jason didn’t get the opportunity to chew him out because Steph and Cass came around the corner just then.

“Tomorrow morning?” Cass said to Stephanie. “Same time?”

“Sounds great,” Stephanie said. She was very flushed, her thick blonde hair much flatter than usual.

Cass smiled at Stephanie and went around to hang her backpack on the back of her desk chair. Then she went back around the desks and said, “Alfred wanted to see me this morning. I’ll see you later.”

She waved at Stephanie and walked back around the corner.

As soon as she was gone, Stephanie groaned and collapsed into her desk chair.

“God, I’m dying,” she said, and put her head down on her desk.

“What was that about?” Barbara asked.

“Well,” Stephanie said, “I asked Cass if I could work out with her sometime and she said yes because she’s an angel, but I didn’t realize that she’s like, a specimen of human perfection and now my whole body hurts.”

“You’re working out with Cass?’ Dick asked.

Stephanie pointed at him and said, “You sound surprised and I’m offended.”

“One time I asked you to do yoga with me and you said, ‘I do not bend,’” Dick said.

“No one in their right mind would do yoga with _you_ ,” Stephanie said. “Who needs that kind of humiliation in their life? I was just trying to get to know Cass, you know? Scope out the competition for Alfred’s job. She’s so quiet all the time. But we worked out for over an hour this morning and I had to get up at 5 a.m. to get here on time and she lifted more than me and ran farther and she doesn’t even have the decency to look tired or sweaty. And, to add insult to injury, I still don’t know anything about her. It’s so unfair!”

Dick was about to remind her that she bet on him, not Cass, but then Mr. Wayne walked around the corner.

Suddenly phones were being put away, everyone was sitting up straighter, dour expressions became blank and professional.

“Morning. I need a favor,” he said. “My friend Oliver Queen will be visiting Wayne Enterprises today after lunch and requested a tour of the tower, but I will be in a meeting with Dr. Isley at that time. I need two of you to do the tour in my stead.”

None of them spoke up. Unlike Alfred, who tended to let them volunteer for the tasks they wanted, Mr. Wayne almost always had someone in mind for a task before he came to present it to them.

“Jason,” Mr. Wayne said. “Do you think you could do it?”

“Uh, sure,” Jason said.

“Harper, could you go with him?” Mr. Wayne asked, turning to her.

Harper nodded.

“Great. Dick, could I see you for a moment in my office?” Mr. Wayne said.

“Sure,” Dick said, surprised.

Mr. Wayne turned around and headed back to his office. Dick followed, mentally reviewing all of his behavior over the past week or so for things he might be in trouble for. There had been that interaction with Ms. Prince, but he had been almost completely professional, and she had seemed more amused by it than anything else, so surely that wasn’t it.

Dick waved at a couple of people on his way down the hall, and said good morning to Alfred before he stepped into Mr. Wayne’s office. Mr. Wayne shut the door behind them and went over to sit at his desk.

“Dick,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick walked over to the other side of the desk, but didn’t sit down on one of the leather armchairs for visitors. They looked too expensive to actually sit in.

“This weekend we have the charity event coming up for Hurricane Gertrude relief. Stephanie, Duke, and Harper were going to be working the event, but Harper has had to drop out because of a family issue. I know you usually work at your other job on the weekends, but I wanted to see if you would be able to work in Harper’s place,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick thought about it and said, “I can ask my other boss if he’ll let me off for the night.”

“You’ll be paid for the night, of course,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick nodded and said, “Yeah, I’ll see if I can work it out.”

“Thank you, Dick. Let me know as soon as you have an answer,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick was about to nod again and walk out, but then his curiosity got the better of him.

“Sir, if you don’t mind me asking, why do you want me to be there?” Dick asked.

Mr. Wayne smiled and said, “Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed that some of the other interns aren’t as...social as others.”

“I have,” Dick said. He knew exactly who Mr. Wayne was talking about.

“Of course, I don’t mean to imply that the others do not have their strengths, but talking to people is easier for some. We need our social people front and center for this event,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick thought about Alfred, who always knew exactly what to say to anyone, whether it was heartfelt condolences or a sly takedown. Mr. Wayne was a pretty sociable guy himself, but surely another sociable personal assistant would be an asset.

“I’ll get back to you as soon as I hear from my other boss,” Dick said.

“That would be great. Thank you,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick turned and started to walk out, allowing himself a small smile now that his back was turned.

He’d just made it to the door when Mr. Wayne said, “Oh, and Dick?”

Dick stopped and turned.

“Could you send Tim in here when you get back to your desk?” Mr. Wayne asked him.

“Uh, sure,” Dick said.

“Thank you.”

Then Mr. Wayne picked up his phone to make a call.

Dick, frowning a little now, went out of the executive office and started to head back to the interns’ corner.

Whether Damian hated Tim or not, it was obvious that Mr. Wayne did rely on Tim an awful lot. Somehow he hadn’t noticed it until now.

* * *

Dick went to get some coffee before his lunch hour was over. When he got back upstairs to the executive level, he was just in time to stumble upon Mr. Wayne trying to prevent Jason from fighting Oliver Queen.

“Don’t talk down to me with that pretentious accent,” Jason was saying.

“I’m...sorry?” Mr. Queen said, looking bemused.

“Jason, this is not an appropriate way to speak to one of my friends. Please apologize.”

Mr. Wayne’s meeting with Dr. Isley clearly wasn’t over yet, since she was standing behind Mr. Wayne looking annoyed but still very beautiful in a black “Save the Green” shirt. Harper was standing on the other side of Jason, Oliver Queen, and Mr. Wayne. Her face was very pale.

Dick didn’t mean to stand there gawking, but they were all blocking the walkway and he couldn’t get by.

“Why do I have to apologize? He’s the one who was trashing my old neighborhood,” Jason said.

“Jason, let me assure you that I did not mean any offense,” Oliver Queen said.

“Who taught you to apologize?” Jason said. “Saying you didn’t mean to offend doesn’t change the fact that you did. Good people live in The Bowery. It isn’t some eyesore that needs to be fixed up for the rich.”

“Is it possible you simply misunderstood Oliver’s remark?” Mr. Wayne asked Jason.

“I didn’t misinterpret anything, you—”

“ _Jason_ ,” Mr. Wayne said.

Jason stopped mid-sentence.

Mr. Wayne raised his eyebrows and said, “Maybe you need to take a minute?”

Jason looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he turned, muttering, and started heading down the hall toward Dick.

“Nothing better to do, huh?” Jason said when he saw him.

Dick didn’t respond, and Jason kept going right by him, out the glass doors to the elevators.

“Oliver, Dr. Isley, I’m so sorry,” Mr. Wayne said. “Unfortunately I need to make a call. Oliver, I’ll talk to you later. Dr. Isley, it will be just one moment. Please wait over here with my assistant.”

Mr. Wayne guided her over to Alfred, then he walked into his office without another word.

Dick turned back to Harper and Mr. Queen right as Mr. Queen was telling her, “Thank you for the tour, Harper. It was very informative. When he gets back, please tell your coworker that I am sorry about what I said.”

Harper nodded but didn’t say anything. Oliver Queen turned and headed for the elevators. He smiled at Dick as he passed, as unruffled as if nothing had happened.

Dick went over to Harper and said, “What happened?”

Harper threw her hands up and said, “I don’t know! One minute everything was fine and we were doing the tour. Then Queen said something about the street improvement initiative over in The Bowery and suddenly Jason was losing it.”

Dick sighed.

“Where do you think Jason went?” Harper asked.

He shrugged.

“Hopefully to take a nap or something, because my god,” she said. 

Dick smirked at her, then they turned and headed back to the interns’ corner. Stephanie was the only one there, and she had obviously heard everything.

“What was that?” she whispered.

Dick shrugged and said, “Jason.”

This was enough of an explanation, apparently, because Stephanie just shook her head and turned back to her computer screen.

“Hey, where is everyone?” Dick said, looking around at the empty desks.

“Babs went over to Records. Duke and Cass are helping Alfred with the prep for the charity thing on Saturday. No idea where Tim is, but he’s always gone around this time on Thursdays, so I assume where ever he is he’ll be back soon,” Stephanie said.

Dick was about to ask if Tim was really gone every Thursday afternoon, but Stephanie got up and said, “I’m going to go pee before you all get up and leave me here by myself to answer the phones again.”

She left, which was just as well, because his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Dick pulled it out and looked at the caller ID.

Naturally Mr. March would call when Dick had texted him.

He pressed the green button and said, “Yes?”

“Don’t _yes_ me, Grayson,” Mr. March said.

“Nice to talk to you too,” Dick said, looking over to see if Harper was paying attention. She was typing pretty fast, however, and at least wasn’t obviously eavesdropping.

“This is the second weekend in a row where you’ve been a flake,” Mr. March said.

“I wouldn’t call asking for a night off being a flake,” Dick said.

The phones in the office began ringing. Harper picked up the call with a, “Wayne Enterprises Corporate Office, how may I help you?” and Dick breathed a little easier knowing she was distracted by her own call now.

“Something came up with one of my coworkers here and my other boss needs me to step in and work for her at this charity event. You know I wouldn’t call in at the last minute unless it was important,” Dick told him.

“Yes, I’m sure Wayne needs you because you’re so...indispensable,” Mr. March said.

Dick didn’t say anything. Mr. March was always making these kinds of implications.

“If you’re not coming in on Friday, then don’t bother coming into work tomorrow night either,” Mr. March said.

“You’re not firing me. You wouldn’t.”

“You sound so confident about that,” Mr. March said.

“You’re not firing me because I’m the best,” Dick said.

“Again with the baseless confidence. At least you have that going for you.”

Dick refused to take the bait. He called himself the best because he knew he was the best. None of the others ever got as many tips as him.

“Wayne takes up too much of your time, and I can replace you with someone just as good at any time. Someone who actually gives a shit about this job,” Mr. March said.

They both knew he was full of shit, so Dick just said, “Can I have Saturday night off or not?”

“Be here by midnight on Saturday or don’t bother coming back at all.”

Dick took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he needed his job at The Court. He wasn’t proud of it, but the money was too good. Until he had Alfred’s job, he had to figure out how to appease Mr. March.  

“Fine, ok. I’ll be there by midnight,” Dick said.

Mr. March hung up.

Dick pulled the phone away from his ear and glared at it.

He put his phone down and opened up a new email to tell Mr. Wayne that he could work on Saturday after all. Maybe Mr. Wayne would get drunk enough on Saturday night that he wouldn’t even notice Dick slipping out early.

* * *

Damian Wayne came by the office after school. Everyone was back except Jason, who was still off wherever it was what Mr. Wayne sent him. Damian had also brought a guest.

“This is my boyfriend, Jonathan Kent,” Damian said, gesturing to the black-haired boy next to him. They were holding hands. It was adorable.

“Nice to meet you, Jonathan,” Dick said, smiling at him.

Jon blushed and avoided eye contact.

“You can call me Jon,” he said. “And it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Grayson is one of the interns who works for my father,” Damian told Jon.

“We all are,” Dick said, gesturing around at the others. Harper and Stephanie were peering curiously over at them, as was Duke. Cass and Tim were focused on their computer screens, and Barbara was on the phone.

“Hello,” Jon said, waving a hand.

“How did you and Jon meet?” Dick asked.

“Jon is in my art class this semester,” Damian told him. “I agreed to practice still life drawing with him and we discovered that we got along well together.”

Jon, as Damian talked, got redder and redder and started to drift behind Damian like he was hiding. He was much taller and more muscular than Damian, so this wasn’t very effective. Dick thought it was interesting that Jon was so shy. Damian was anything but shy.

“That’s nice. What brings you two by the office today?” Dick asked.

Damian shrugged and said, “Jon and I had some time before our movie begins, so I decided to come by to make sure that my father’s employees are taking their work seriously.”

_Or to show off his cute boyfriend_ , Dick thought, smiling.

“Well it’s nice to see you, kid,” Dick said. “You should come by more often.”

“I would, if my various extracurricular activities did not keep me so busy. It is not easy to balance fencing, painting lessons, and martial arts.”

“Hm, I bet not,” Dick said, and then he turned to check on the others, some of whom were still spectating. “We have some new people, so I guess I should introduce you to everybody.”

He turned toward Duke and said, “This is Duke. Duke, Damian is Mr. Wayne’s son.”

Duke waved at Damian and said, “Hello.”

“And this is Harper,” Dick said, turning to gesture at her.

“Hey,” Harper said.

“The others have met Damian, but not you, Jon,” Dick said. He pointed at each of them as he said, “This is Steph, Cass, Barbara, and Tim.”

“Hello!” Stephanie said, while Cass simply smiled and Barbara waved.

“Hey,” Tim said, not looking up from his monitor.

Damian gave Tim a long, contemptuous look and said, “Drake.”

“Damian,” Tim said.

“You’re still here, I see,” Damian said.

“Yes, I am,” Tim said.

Damian narrowed his eyes at Tim for a moment, but Tim kept working and didn't seem to notice or care.

Damian finally looked away, and Jon said, “It’s, uh, nice to meet you all.”

“Nice to meet you too!” Stephanie said.

Damian looked at the watch on his wrist and said, “Jon and I should probably be going now. We do not want to be late to the theater.”

“Of course. Have a good time,” Dick said, and he turned back to his computer.

“Bye,” Jon said, but Damian didn’t say anything to them as he turned and left the interns’ corner, pulling Jon along with him.

Tim was still focusing on his computer monitor, so when Damian was gone Dick looked over at Stephanie. Stephanie was already looking at him, her eyes wide. Dick shrugged as if to say, _What did I tell you?_ Then turned back to his own computer to deal with the sixteen emails he’d received during Damian’s visit.

A short while later, a notification popped up on Dick’s phone. It said, _Stephanie has added you to a group._

A second later there was another notification. It said, _Stephanie named the group Alfred 2.0_.

Dick swiped on the notification and opened his messenger app. He saw that Duke, Harper, Jason, and Cass were its other members.

Stephanie Brown: Holy shit

Stephanie Brown: Damian really does hate Tim tf

Stephanie Brown: I felt a chill just now watching that interaction

Dick shot her another look, then typed, _I told you_. He hit send.

Jason, wherever he was, was watching the chat already. The ellipses popped up showing he was writing a response.

Jason Todd: Wait what happened? Was Damian there

Stephanie Brown: Just now with his boyfriend and he really does hate Tim

Duke Thomas: They said each other’s names. Calm down.

Stephanie Brown: DUKE

Stephanie Brown: Did you not HEAr them

Stephanie Brown: I have never heard such poorly concealed loathing in my LIFE

Cass sent a bitmoji, It said “I know right?”

Stephanie Brown: Cass agrees with me!!

Stephanie Brown: Thank you Cass

Cass sent another bitmoji. This one said, “Anything for you!”

Stephanie sent one of her blowing hearts.

Jason Todd: Stop sending fucking bitmojis and tell me what happened

Stephanie Brown: First tell me where you are. Did you get fired again

Jason Todd: No I didn’t get fired again and it’s none of your business

Stephanie dutifully told Jason about the small encounter with Damian and Tim in their work area, wildly overblowing it into a bigger scene than it actually was. Duke argued with her and attempted to downplay the event. Then Harper stepped in and told Jason what really happened.

After a couple of minutes of this, Dick shook his head and set his phone down so the screen faced the surface of his desk. His coworkers were unbelievable sometimes, but at least he’d been proven right for a change. Dick loved being right. It almost made a kind of shitty day more bearable.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tim?” Dick said.
> 
> Tim’s head snapped up and around. He gazed up at Dick like a deer in the headlights.
> 
> “Dick,” Tim said.
> 
> Dick didn’t move beyond the entryway.
> 
> “What are you doing?” Dick asked.
> 
> Tim didn’t answer.
> 
> After a moment of fruitlessly waiting for Tim to speak, Dick asked, “Are you supposed to be on Jason’s computer?”

The baby woke Dick up just after 4:30 in the morning on Friday. After another forty-five minutes of off and on crying and silence and crying and silence, there seemed to be no end in sight. Dick finally gave up on sleeping and climbed out of bed.

When he wandered out of his bedroom to grab some breakfast, it was to find an unwelcome sight:

Jade. She was sitting at the table in the apartment’s sorry excuse for a kitchen. She was wearing one of Roy’s old t-shirts and calmly eating a bowl of Dick’s favorite cereal like her baby wasn’t wailing in Roy’s room down the hall.

“Hello, Dick,” she said.

“Jade,” Dick said.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Fine,” he said. “How are you?”

“Great,” she said, and shrugged.

He wanted to say, “Why are you out here eating my cereal while Lian obviously needs you?” He also wanted to say, “What are you doing here at all?”

But he didn’t ask either of these questions. Deciding he wasn’t hungry after all, Dick walked right by the kitchen and made a beeline for the bathroom instead.

He was dressed and out the door ten minutes later. The trains were all ready packed, and it was drizzling outside, but he refused to go back up for his umbrella because he didn’t want to see Jade again.

_If I get Alfred’s job, I’m getting a place much closer to WE_ , he thought as another anonymous bag hit him in the thigh. He hated the train. Fantasizing about his new apartment and how quiet it would be did distract him from his annoyance about Jade for a little while.

When he got off his last train, he stopped by Quinn’s Cafe and picked a box of pastries and a cup of coffee before heading to work.

It was still early enough that the doors were locked, so the tiny purple-haired goth security guard at the front desk had to let him in. Then he rode the elevator up, already resigning himself to the likelihood that he was probably going to walk around the corner and find Tim already there.

Tim was, in fact, already at work. He had already spilled coffee on himself too—or maybe he was still wearing an old shirt from yesterday—and his hair looked like he hadn’t washed it in three days.

More important than any of that, however, was that instead of being on his own computer, Tim was on Jason’s. He was typing away at a furious pace, so intent on whatever it was he was doing that he didn’t notice Dick arrive.

“Tim?” Dick said.

Tim’s head snapped up and around. He gazed up at Dick like a deer in the headlights.

“Dick,” Tim said.

Dick didn’t move beyond the entryway.

“What are you doing?” Dick asked.

Tim didn’t answer.

After a moment of fruitlessly waiting for Tim to speak, Dick asked, “Are you supposed to be on Jason’s computer?”

Tim gaped for a second longer. Finally, he seemed to come back to himself. He looked down at the screen and clicked on the menu to shut the computer down. Then he got up and went back around to his own desk as Jason’s computer powered off.

“I wasn’t doing anything,” Tim said. “Just installing some stuff for IT. Bruce asked me to.”

Dick believed that zero percent.

“So were you doing nothing or were you installing things for IT?” Dick asked.

“You know what I mean,” Tim said, waving a hand. “I was installing things for IT.”

As Dick came over to his desk and sat down, he studied Tim.

“Do you regularly get on all of our computers, or just Jason’s?” Dick asked.

Tim shrugged and didn’t meet Dick’s gaze as he said, “I’ll get on your computers if Bru—Mr. Wayne asks me to make some kind of change.”

“And how do you do that? You don’t have our passwords,” Dick said, but then immediately after saying it, he thought, _Does he?_

“I got the admin password,” Tim said.

“From who?”

“From IT.”

“From who in IT?” Dick asked.

“I don’t remember her name,” Tim said.

Dick stared at Tim. He wanted to say, “You really need to work on lying.” He also wanted to say, “Do you live here?”

Dick didn’t say either of these things. Instead, he lifted up the lid of the box from Quinn’s Cafe, and held it out toward Tim.

“Pastry?” Dick said.

For a beat, Tim eyed the box like it might be a trap. Then he reached over and took one of the croissants.

“Thanks,” Tim said.

“No problem,” Dick said, and set the box back down on the edge of his desk.

Dick turned his computer on and got to work, and after a while he resigned himself to the possibility that he might never find out what exactly Tim had been doing on Jason’s computer.

Just like on Monday, Duke was the next one of the interns to arrive. He showed up just before 7, and sighed when he came around the corner and saw Tim and Dick.

“Am I ever going to get here before you two?” he said.

Dick smiled up at him.

“Probably not, but if you ask me, you really shouldn’t try. Tim’s a mini workaholic and I only come here early because it’s better than listening to a baby cry,” Dick said.

Duke didn’t say anything, but sat down. He looked very grumpy, and Dick had to wonder again if Duke didn’t like him.

There was a foolproof way into a person’s heart, though, and that was bribery. Dick picked up the box of pastries and offered it to Duke like he had Tim.

“Hungry?” he said.

Duke glanced over at the box of pastries, then over at Dick’s face, but only for a second before he looked away.

“Oh, uh, no thanks,” Duke said.

“Come on,” Dick said, leaning closer.

“Well—fine,” Duke said, and took apple strudel.

He still didn’t seem happy about it, but he ate the whole thing, so Dick counted that as a success. Duke couldn’t dislike him forever.

That morning before the others arrived, something simultaneously fascinating and annoying occurred. Tim was spending a lot of time on his phone responding to messages or something. At one point, under his breath he said, “Oh hi, thanks for checking in.”

“I’m still a piece of garbage,” Duke sang.  

Dick looked up from his computer in time to catch Tim and Duke smirking at each other.

Dick stared between both of them for a moment, expecting some kind of explanation, but Tim and Duke went back to work as if nothing had happened.

Dick almost forgot about it, except, a few minutes later, Duke said, “Hi, my name is Chelsea.”

“What’s your favorite dinner food?” Tim asked.

Duke giggled. Dick, once again, glanced between the two of them, but if they noticed his attention they didn’t care.

For the second time, Duke and Tim went back to work as if nothing had happened, and for the second time, Dick put it out of his mind.

Then, about ten minutes later, Tim said, “I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing.”

“But you didn’t,” Duke said.

“Get to Del Taco,” Tim said.

“They got a new thing called—”

Before Duke could finish the sentence Dick said, “Ok, what are you two doing?”

Duke and Tim laughed. When they were finished, Dick said, “Well?”

Neither of them explained, because they were assholes.

Fortunately, Harper arrived a few minutes later, and that seemed to distract Duke and Tim from...whatever it was that they had been doing.

Harper, unlike Duke, was more than happy to take one of Dick’s offered pastries. She didn’t even seem to be annoyed that Duke, Dick, and Tim were all at work so much earlier than her.

With the exception of Jason, who actually showed up a couple of minutes early for work instead of a couple of minutes late, everyone showed up in the exact same order—and at roughly the same time—as on Monday. As a larger crowd gathered, a conversation started about the weekend and what everyone’s plans were.

Duke and Tim apparently had no plans, or at least none worth discussing. Tim mentioned he was going to be playing a video game. Duke said he was familiar with the video game and also might play it sometime that weekend. That was about as interesting as the discussion got.

Then Stephanie arrived and immediately invited herself to join the conversation, as usual.

“I have no plans at all and I am dying about it,” she said as she draped her purse over the back of her chair. “My mom and I were going to go see Anastasia, but then she decided to offer my ticket to her friend at work instead. So I guess I’m just going to stay at home and cry.”

“I’m going out tonight,” Jason said, even though no one had asked.

“Let me guess,” Dick said, “The Outlaw?”

“Yes, and fuck you,” Jason said. He turned to Duke and said, “Want to come with?”

“Yeah, sure,” Duke said.

“What about you Cass?” Stephanie asked.

Cass looked pensive for a moment, then shrugged. She said, “No plans.”

“Well, at least I’m not the only one who has no life,” Stephanie said.

Nobody asked what Dick was doing over the weekend, and he was glad. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his job at The Court—he was good at it, and he made pretty good money—but he knew that his coworkers would look at him differently if they knew exactly what his other job entailed. He’d dated Babs for a little while the previous year, back when she first started at WE, and she’d broken up with Dick not long after he told her about his other job. She’d given him vague excuses about how there were things going on in her personal life that he didn’t know about, but he couldn’t help but be suspicious.

“What about you Harper?” Stephanie asked.

“Oh, you know,” Harper said, shrugging. “Just staying home to watch my stupid brother and make sure he doesn’t sneak out again.”

“What’d he do?” Stephanie asked.

“Got himself suspended for a week,” Harper said.

“Cullen?” Stephanie said, disbelieving. “How?”

Harper started telling Stephanie about it, but Dick got distracted because he heard Tim whisper, “Fresh ava-ca-doo.”

Duke heard him and snickered. Then Duke said, “We all die.”

“You either kill yourself or get killed,” Tim said.

At the same time they both said, “What you gonna do?”

Dick rolled his eyes and said, “This again?”

Jason glanced between Duke and Tim. His gaze settled on Tim and he narrowed his eyes.

Tim and Duke had also succeeded in drawing Stephanie’s attention. She stared over at them, looking as puzzled as Dick felt. She was perhaps about to ask them something, but then Alfred showed up and summoned them for the Friday morning briefing. Dick was more than happy to get up and leave the interns’ corner for a few minutes.

* * *

That day at lunch, Tim joined Jason, Duke, and Dick at a table in the cafeteria.

Dick could count on one hand the number of times that Tim had willingly sat with Dick and the others at lunch. Obviously, whatever it was that had caused Duke and Tim to bond that morning had won Tim over somehow. They’d all been sent down to the ballroom to help set up for the charity event that morning and Duke and Tim had spent most of it spouting absolute nonsense at each other.

Jason obviously hated it it, which would have been funny, except Dick kind of hated it too.

“—I’ve been in other campaigns before, but this is the first time I’ve been a DM since high school,” Tim was telling Duke. “The others in my group have all played before, but now that Bart is working for his uncle and Cissie has classes on Saturdays, it makes it hard for us to get anything done. Especially since Bart is our healer.”

“That sucks,” Duke said.

“What are you two talking about?” Dick asked.

“Dungeons & Dragons,” Tim said.

Jason, who had spent most of lunch glowering down at his plate, suddenly looked up and said, with great disbelief, “Dungeons & Dragons.”

“Yeah, it’s fun,” Tim said.

“I’ve always wanted to play, but none of my friends were ever into it,” Duke said.

Jason stared over at Duke like he had been betrayed.

Dick was sure that the next thing that was going to happen was that Tim was going to offer to let Duke join his campaign. But then, over the sound of the other chatter in the cafeteria, Dick heard someone say, “Guys!”

It was Stephanie. They all turned around and watched her run around the tables over to them, totally ignoring the baffled looks she was getting from the executives at the other tables. When she reached them, she threw herself into an empty chair without waiting to be invited to sit down.

“Hey Steph. What’s going on?” Dick asked.

“Oh,” Stephanie said. She was breathing pretty hard, and pressed her hand to her chest. “Hold on a minute. I ran all the way down here because the elevator was taking too long. Damn I’m out of shape. I shouldn’t have canceled on Cass this morning.”

They let her recover. Finally, she tossed her hair behind her shoulder and said, “You all are going to freak. Alfred’s job has officially been posted on the WE website.”

“No shit?” Jason said. He and Duke exchanged a look and pulled out their phones.

“Yes!” Stephanie said.

“What do you need for it?” Dick asked.

“Well, the good news is that we were all right about the qualifications. A high school degree is sufficient. The bad news is that you need a resume, a cover letter, and—blah—three letters of recommendation,” she told them.

Dick groaned internally. Having to update his resume and write a cover letter was bad enough. His crappy old laptop broke in October, so he’d have to visit the public library or beg Donna to borrow hers to do all of that, and when was he even going to find the time?

Having to have three letters of recommendation was definitely the worst news, however.

“I have no idea what I’m going to do about the letters of recommendation,” Stephanie said, echoing what Dick was thinking. “I haven’t really had any other jobs except for this one. I was a barista before I got my position here, but that coffee shop was on campus and it got closed. Do you think it would be weird if I asked Alfred to write a cover letter for me?”

“Yes,” Tim said.

Jason looked up at Tim and said, “Well, who would you ask?”

Tim thought about the question for a minute and then he said, “You’re all in college, right? You could ask some of your professors.”

Stephanie’s eyes lit up. She patted Tim on the hand and said, “That’s a really good idea, Tim!”

Duke smiled at Tim and said, “It is, actually.”

“I didn’t ask who _we_ should get to write letters of recommendation,” Jason said, cocking an eyebrow. “I asked who _you_ would ask.”

Tim frowned and said, “Why’s that important?”

Jason, instead of continuing to pester him, just glared at Tim and stabbed his pasta with his fork in a way that seemed pointed. If Tim noticed, he didn’t give it away.

“I’m going to go call Professor Harris,” Stephanie said, and got up to leave.

Then she started running back across the cafeteria again, but didn’t get very far when she almost ran smack into Mr. Wayne.

“Whoa!” Stephanie said, sliding to a stop.

“Hello Stephanie,” Mr. Wayne said, nodding at her. “Is there...some kind of emergency?”

“Nope!” Stephanie said. “So sorry about that!”

She went around him and walked, very fast, around the tables back to the exit. As soon as she hit the door, she started running again.

Mr. Wayne watched her and shook his head, then went on to where ever it was he was going.

“Three letters of recommendation,” Jason muttered when both of them were gone. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Dick said. “Fuck is the right word for it.”

There was nobody at The Court who would give him a recommendation. Not that he wanted one from one of those assholes, but still.

“I have a couple of professors I could ask,” Duke said. “And my boss from this temp job I had last summer. She liked me.”

Tim just went on eating his lunch. Dick eyed him for a moment, but unlike that morning when Dick caught him on Jason’s computer, Dick couldn’t tell at all what was going through his head.

Eventually, Tim brought up Dungeons & Dragons again, and he did ask Duke if he wanted to join his campaign.

Jason just watched all of this with all of the smoldering fury of a poked dragon.

* * *

Toward the end of the day, Dick was up in the office manning the phones when he got some texts from Roy.

Roy Harper: Hey man

Roy Harper: I was just wondering if you’re cool with Jade crashing at our place for a while

Dick thought about his response for about ten seconds and texted back, _No problem_.

It actually was a problem—it was a big problem.

Dick’s issue with Jade was that she couldn’t decide whether or not she wanted to be a mother. Every time she showed up in Gotham, Roy got his hopes up that this time she would stay and help him take care of the baby. But then Lian would inevitably get too overwhelming, and Jade would take off, and Roy would be devastated all over again.

Dick guessed that this time she would be gone in about three days. Maybe even less than that, if her behavior that morning was any indication. He could weather it until she left again. He knew it was pretty callous of him to think this way...but he also thought that, all things considered, he’d been a pretty forgiving roommate.

Roy sent several very thankful texts after that, but Dick was spared from having to answer them because he got caught up on a difficult phone call with a customer.

Dick was just getting off the phone with his difficult customer when Tim, Harper, and Stephanie returned from running an errand for Alfred.

“—I’m just saying, I saw sparks while you two were talking,” Stephanie was saying.

“Then you’re hallucinating,” Tim said.

Stephanie, not appearing that she’d heard this in any way, sat down at her desk and said, “I’ve never seen you smile so much.”

“That’s because you and I are coworkers. I don’t smile because this is a workplace and I’m professional,” Tim said.

Dick looked over at Tim, remembering how he caught Tim on Jason’s computer that morning. Jason hadn’t given any indication that something was wrong with his computer, but Dick was still positive that Tim had been up to something nefarious.

“This was different. I mean, you’ve smiled before when someone tells a joke or something, but it was like the weight of the world had been taken off your shoulders—”

“What’s happening?” Dick asked, interrupting Stephanie.

Tim gave Dick a look like he really wished Dick hadn’t asked the question.

“I saw Tim down in the lobby talking to this _really_ cute dark-haired guy,” Stephanie said. “Are you two dating? Because if not you definitely should be. I think he’s into you.”

Dick looked over at Tim and raised his eyebrows. Tim just rolled his eyes.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Tim told her, “but that guy is my friend Conner. And we are just that: friends.”

“Do you hug all of your friends like that? I mean, and he came all the way down to WE to see you,” Stephanie said.

“Well, first of all, he works at the newspaper across the street, so didn’t come all the way down anywhere to see me. And second, I do hug my friends if I haven’t seen them in three weeks because they’ve been in Hawaii,” Tim said.

Stephanie sighed and said, “Ok fine, jeez. I’m just curious why you’re so dead set against me trying to find happiness for you.”

“Why are you so dead set against believing that he’s my friend? Can men not have affectionate relationships without it being romantic in some way?” Tim asked.

Dick, Harper, and Tim all looked over at Stephanie, who held up a finger and opened her mouth. No sound came out. There was an awkward silence while they waited for her response.

Finally she put the finger down and said, “Ok, you got me there.”

Then she started whistling and signed back into her computer.

Tim shook his head and turned back to face his own screen.

“So you guys!” Stephanie said as she opened her email, because apparently she was incapable of being quiet for any period of time. “Guess what?”

The phone rang and Tim snatched it off the receiver first. Dick didn’t blame him for not wanting to be a part of the conversation anymore.

“What?” Harper said.

“You know how I said that my mom gave my ticket to Anastasia to her friend and I was going to stay home and cry?” Stephanie said.

Harper and Dick both said, “Yes.”

“Well guess who has Friday night plans now?” She took her fingers off the keyboard for a second to point them at herself. “It me.”

“Oh?” Harper said.

“Yes, Cass and I were talking at lunch about how she didn’t have any weekend plans either, and I then I found out about Alfred’s job being posted so we were talking about how we could help each other with our resumes. She suggested that we go out to dinner tonight, and then we’re going to go back to her place to work on our applications and watch the new season of Brooklyn Nine Nine. Did you know that she has her own apartment? In Gotham? With no roommates?”

Dick looked over at the girls’ side and exchanged a confused glance with Harper.

“So, it’s like a date?” Harper asked Stephanie.

Stephanie didn’t look up from her computer, but said, “Huh? No. We’re just helping each other with our applications.”

Dick and Harper exchanged a second look.

Dick knew that Harper was a lesbian, and everyone in the office knew that Dick was bi, but everybody else was kind of a mystery. The scenario Stephanie was describing kind of sounded like a date to him, and he could tell that Harper agreed with him, but he also didn’t want to be accused of whatever it was that Tim had just accused Stephanie of. Harper apparently didn’t want to be accused of it either, because they both just shrugged and dropped the topic.

As Dick turned back to the report he was working on, he found himself hoping that Cass also knew that her night out with Stephanie wasn’t a date. Stephanie could be inadvertently leading Cass on. Then again, Cass’s sexuality was as much of a mystery as Tim’s and Duke’s and Jason’s.

Dick almost found himself thinking he should warn Stephanie off of this whole scoping out the competition thing. Surely she liked Cass enough not to want to end up maybe hurting her.

Then Dick’s phone screen lit up. He looked down and saw that Roy was texting him again.

On second thought, he had enough of his own personal problems. It was probably a bad idea to get mixed up in anyone else’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just FYI, I will not be able to post chapters for this story weekly anymore. My goal is going to be every other week on Wednesdays.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Roy,” Dick said.
> 
> Roy grunted and kept staring at nothing.
> 
> “How’s everything going?” Dick asked.
> 
> “Well, Lian had diarrhea this morning and Jade disappeared again, but I found my favorite hoodie so I guess things could be worse,” he said.

Just as Dick expected she would, Jade took off over the weekend. Megan texted him about it while he was busy at The Court. Apparently what happened was that Roy went out to go get some formula for the baby. When he returned, Garth was watching Lian and Jade was gone. She didn’t even bother to leave a note this time.

So Dick was unsurprised to come out of his room on Monday morning to find Roy on the futon in the living room, burping Lian. His hair was tied up in a stringy bun and he was gazing morosely at a bare stretch of wall.

“Hey Roy,” Dick said.

Roy grunted and kept staring at nothing.

“How’s everything going?” Dick asked.

“Well, Lian had diarrhea this morning and Jade disappeared again, but I found my favorite hoodie so I guess things could be worse,” he said.

Dick guessed he was talking about the green hoodie he was wearing at that moment. It was covered in bleach stains and the Star City Archers logo was so faded that it was almost impossible to read.

“I heard about Jade,” Dick said, putting his hands on his hips. “I’m sorry.”

“Like you didn’t know she was going to leave eventually,” Roy said.

Dick didn’t say anything. Roy was clearly in a mood, and Dick didn’t want to do anything that would make it worse.

But it turned out there was no need for Dick to say anything.

“Donna told me you’re moving out,” Roy said.

_Shit_ , Dick thought.

Lian whined in Roy’s arms. Roy patted her a little harder, rubbing soothing circles into her back with his fingers.

“Why did Donna say this?” Dick asked.

“She said you borrowed her laptop to apply for some job and when she got back on it later she saw you’d also searched for new apartments,” Roy said.

Dick sighed and thought, _Damn it Donna_. He’d wondered if he should clear his search history, but didn’t think Donna would be _that_ nosy. Looking at his browsing history was low.

He said, “Roy—” but Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and started to talk over him.

“You’re bailing on me now? Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be to find a roommate who wants to live with a baby?” Roy asked.

“It isn’t—it’s not like I want to leave you in a bind,” Dick said. “It’s just a little much, trying to work two jobs and then coming home and I can’t sleep at all because of five roommates and a crying baby.”

Roy shook his head.

“It’s cool, man,” Roy said, although his tone suggested otherwise. He got up from the couch, bundling the whiny baby closer to him. “I get it. I mean, who wouldn’t leave this clusterfuck of a situation, right?”

“Roy,” Dick said, but Roy ignored him and went into his room, shutting the door behind him. Dick sighed again and tipped his head back.

_What a way to begin another week,_ Dick thought. Then he went to the kitchen to find out if Jade ate the rest of his cereal before she took off.

* * *

Dick missed his train and ended up arriving at WE late. He was furious about it, and even though deep down he knew it was mostly his own fault, he decided to be unfair and blame Jade for it anyway.

As he crossed the WE lobby, he saw that one of the elevators was opening. A broad-shouldered man with silver hair walked through the doors, and Dick sped up so he could sneak in behind him.

Dick made eye contact with the man just as the doors slid shut behind him, and his brain shorted out. He immediately looked away and turned around, hitting the button for the top floor before he thought better of it.

The broad-shouldered man with the silver hair was Slade Wilson.

Slade was one of The Court’s regulars. Unlike most of the other regulars, Slade never wore a mask. Not only did he not wear a mask, but he had an eyepatch too. He was handsome, and distinctive looking, and he didn’t seem to care who knew who he was or that he was there. It was something Dick had always found intriguing.

Slade was going to the 22nd floor. Neither of them spoke to each other on the way up, and Slade didn’t even seem to register his presence, but Dick still felt tense. Dick’s saving grace was that he _always_ wore his mask at The Court. Slade shouldn’t be able to guess who he was, but his presence at WE still put Dick on edge. He’d never run into any Court regulars at WE before.

They finally reached the 22nd floor and the doors opened to let Slade off. Slade walked off the elevator without a glance back at Dick, and then they shut again, leaving him blessedly alone.

Dick released a huge breath.

He could only hope that Slade was just there for a meeting or something and this wouldn’t become a new thing.

The elevator arrived at the top floor, and Dick managed to sneak back around to the interns’ corner without—hopefully—anyone important seeing him.

It turned out there was way too much going on back there anyway, so no one noticed him showing up late.

“A third of those search terms aren’t mine,” Jason was saying.

There was another person back there at Jason’s desk, and he was busy taking Jason’s computer apart.

“Whatever you say, man,” the guy said.

Dick came around to his desk and said, “What’s happening?”

“Jason’s computer got a virus,” Duke said, and Jason scowled at the IT guy.

Dick had a feeling and his gaze slid over to Tim. Tim was working on his own computer, busy and seeming to not be paying attention at all to what was going on around him.

“People search for all kinds of things,” The IT guy said, shrugging. “I don’t judge. I mean, I do, because there are certain things you’re not supposed to be doing at work, like online shopping. But let’s be honest and admit that everybody does it. Just...buy your oils from a legit website the next time.”

“I don’t buy essential oils!” Jason said.

The IT guy shrugged again and said, “My sister does. They smell nice. I can give you her email address if you’d like to get them from her next time. That’s way safer than going back to that website where you got the virus.”

“I just said I don’t buy that sh—garbage,” Jason said.

“Ok,” the IT guy said, clearly not believing him or even caring. Then he picked up Jason’s monitor and carried it off, whistling as he departed.

Jason glared after him, then gestured at his empty desk and said, “Great. Now what the hell am I supposed to do? We’re not allowed to access our WE email on our phones. I’m not going to have any idea what’s going on today.”

“What are the essential oils for?” Stephanie asked him.

“How many times do I have to say that I don’t buy essential oils?” Jason said.

Stephanie and Cass started giggling.

Duke apparently couldn’t resist joining in, because he said, “We’re not going to judge you for your hobbies. Even if you do have like, annoying white girl hobbies.”

“I hear lavender is supposed to help with relaxation,” Tim said.

Duke snorted, and Stephanie and Cass started giggling even harder.

Jason shut his mouth and just looked from Duke to Tim. His expression weirdly calm, and for a terrifying minute Dick could see the wheels in his head turning. People forgot sometimes that Jason wasn’t dumb.

Tim forgot it.

Unfortunately, Mr. Wayne walked around the corner just then and caught them slacking.

“What’s going on?” he said. He didn’t sound mad per se, but he didn’t look super happy either. Then he noticed Jason’s empty desk and said, “Jason, where is your computer?”

“IT had to take it to work on it,” Jason said.

Mr. Wayne frowned and said, “What for?”

Jason took a deep breath and didn’t quite roll his eyes. For a minute Dick thought that he wasn’t going to respond, but Jason managed to reign his temper in and said, “IT thinks I got a virus on it.”

Mr. Wayne didn’t ask how, which was kind of disappointing, but also probably better for everyone.

“Hmm,” Mr. Wayne said, then turned to face the rest of them. “Which one of you is the intern liaison for the PR department?”

Dick raised his hand, and Mr. Wayne looked over at him and said, “Good. A consultant is going to be working with PR for a couple of weeks and I was hoping you could give him a tour of the building today. I imagine he there’s a lot he will want to know about the people who work in the PR department. Are you willing to answer his questions?”

“Yeah,” Dick said, “that sounds great.”

“Thank you, Dick. Come by my office at 3. That’s when I told him to meet you,” Mr. Wayne said.

“Will do,” Dick said.

Then Mr. Wayne went over to talk to Cass about something.

Dick turned on his computer. He enjoyed talking to people, even strangers, and was pleased about having something new and different to do that day.

The feeling only lasted for about ten seconds. A couple of troubling thoughts occurred to Dick not long after Mr. Wayne moved on to talk to Cass.

The first troubling thought was that Mr. Wayne hadn’t mentioned what the consultant’s name was. The second was that the PR department’s office was on the 22nd floor.

* * *

Dick never figured out a sly way to ask what the consultant’s name was, so he stressed about him possibly being Slade Wilson for the rest of the morning. He was only briefly distracted from this stress when Roy turned up at WE during Dick’s lunch hour.

Dick was walking to the cafeteria when he heard someone say, “Hey, Dick!”

Dick stopped and looked around.

Roy was standing over at the front desk with Kory, the daytime security guard. He’d brought Lian with him. She was in one of those bizarre baby sling things, and Roy was carrying a diaper bag. He wasn’t a small dude, nor an unattractive one, and was getting all kinds of looks from WE executives.

“Roy?” Dick said, and went over to him. When he reached the desk he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you. In person,” Roy said.

“It couldn’t wait for tonight?” Dick asked.

“I didn’t want everybody eavesdropping. Megan is always listening to my conversations,” Roy said.

Dick sighed and looked around the crowded lobby. It was loud during the lunchtime hours, with people coming and going to different restaurants in the area. The cafeteria wasn’t going to be much better.

“Come on,” Dick said. “There’s a break room upstairs on the top floor. We can probably talk there.”

So Dick took Roy and Lian up the elevator back to the top floor. It occurred to him on the way up that none of his roommates had ever visited WE before. Roy was in awe of the building, and Lian seemed to like the elevator. She looked around at the shiny chrome interior with wide eyes, and the curious baby sounds she made were actually kind of endearing.

The break room was, as Dick had suspected it would be, empty. He nodded at the couch and said, “Want to sit?”

“That would be great,” Roy said.

“I get you a drink,” Dick said. Roy sat down and began bouncing Lian on his knee while Dick went to the fridge to get Roy some water.

“This is so nice,” Roy said, looking around the break room.

It was a very nice break room. Alfred kept the fridge stocked with fruit and other healthy snacks so they always had something to eat if they got hungry, and the coffee maker made great cappuccinos. There had been more than one time when Dick had wanted to move into the break room and stay forever.

“It is pretty great,” Dick said. Dick handed him the water, then pulled a chair out from under the table so he could sit across from Roy.

“I knew you were working for Bruce Wayne, but for some reason I was still picturing you working in some dingy old office,” Roy said. “This is...something else.”

Dick nodded.

Roy sipped on the water and kept bouncing Lian up and down.

Finally, Dick asked, “So you came all the way here just to see me? That’s a long trek with a baby.”

Roy sighed and said, “I know. I kind of needed to get out of the apartment for a little while, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. I’m not bugging you, am I?”

Dick shook his head. Roy didn’t seem like he was as mad anymore as he had been that morning, and that was a good thing. Dick didn’t like it when Roy was pissed at him. Of course, it hadn’t really been him who Roy was pissed at. Roy seemed to be doing ok, though. Every time Jade left, it took less and less time for him to get over it, and maybe soon he wouldn’t need her at all. Dick held onto that hope.

“I also wanted to say I’m sorry,” Roy said. “I kind of flipped out on you this morning. Of course I don’t blame you for wanting to move out.”

Roy stared at Lian while he said it, and still looked kind of miserable. Dick frowned.

“Roy,” he said, “you should know, it’s not that I—”

Someone walked around the corner into the break room and Dick stopped talking. Dick and Roy looked over at the intruder.

It was Jason. He was holding a coffee mug.

“Oh,” Jason said when he saw Dick.

Then he looked over at Roy and there was an odd pause where Jason just stared at Roy, not saying anything.

“Sorry,” Jason finally said, and then he backed out of the room and left.

“Uh,” Dick said, mystified by this.

But Jason was already gone, so he just shook his head and turned back to Roy.

“As I was saying,” Dick said, “you shouldn’t take it as an insult. It’s not like I want to leave you behind. I would live with you guys forever except one of these days I’m going to have to start getting some sleep.”

Roy nodded and said, “I know, I know. I get it. I promise.”

“We’re good?” Dick said.

Roy nodded again.

“Of course.”

Dick smiled at him, and then decided to do something that he hadn’t offered to do for weeks. He held out his hands and said, “Can I hold her for a minute?”

“Sure,” Roy said, looking pleasantly surprised.

He handed Dick the baby. She fussed a little bit, but didn’t seem to be all that upset about the change in geography. She didn’t smell that bad, either. The first few times Dick held her, all he could think about was how she smelled like sour milk.

They talked for a little while, but Dick kept holding Lian. Roy told Dick about his weekend with Jade and heard about her latest disappearing act firsthand. Dick told Roy about his weekend at The Court and how he had to slip out of the WE charity gala early.

Then they fell silent for a bit while Dick played with Lian. When he looked up from her a few minutes later, Roy’s head was thrown back over the back of the couch and he was out cold. His mouth was even hanging open.

Dick snorted, but didn’t wake him.

Roy was still asleep and Dick was still entertaining Lian when Mr. Wayne wandered in a little while later.

He was holding a glass of water, but stopped when he noticed Roy on the couch.

Mr. Wayne pointed at him.

“My roommate,” Dick whispered. “Sorry. He’s just visiting during lunch. I’ll wake him up soon.”

Mr. Wayne walked over and looked down at Lian.

“Is the baby his?” Mr. Wayne asked in a low voice.

“She is,” Dick told him. “Her name is Lian.”

Lian, unbelievably, seemed to think giant Mr. Wayne was interesting. She held out one of her chubby baby hands to him.

Mr. Wayne held out his own hand and let her try to grab at his pointer finger. She couldn’t really grip anything yet, so she got bored and went back to trying to stick her grubby baby fingers in Dick’s mouth a moment later.

“He probably needs the rest,” Mr. Wayne said, nodding at Roy. Then he filled his glass with more water and headed back to his office.

Dick let Roy sleep for a little while longer.

* * *

At 3, Dick went to Mr. Wayne’s office and knocked on the door.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Mr. Wayne said, smiling at Dick when he came in. Then he turned and gestured to the other man in the room. “Dick, this is Slade Wilson, the consultant I was telling you about.”

Dick decided the only thing to do was pretend he’d never seen Slade before in his life.

“Mr. Wilson,” he said, and offered his hand for Slade to shake. “It’s nice to meet you. Welcome to Wayne Enterprises.”

Slade accepted the hand and shook it.

“Unfortunately, I am late for a meeting,” Mr. Wayne said, checking his watch. “Slade, you can ask Dick anything you need to know about WE. Enjoy the tour."

Mr. Wayne ushered them out and went onto his meeting.

When they were alone, Dick steeled himself and said, “Would you prefer to take the elevator down or the stairs?”

“Elevator’s fine,” Slade said, and headed that way. Dick followed him.

Unfortunately, right at that moment Stephanie was coming down the hall from the interns’ corner and saw Slade and Dick. She checked Slade out, then looked at Dick and grinned, waggling her eyebrows. Dick shot her a stern look and sped up to catch up with Slade.

For the second time that day, Slade and Dick were alone in the elevator. They didn’t say anything to each other for a long pause, and it occurred to Dick, belatedly, that he wasn’t really acting like himself. If he was going to pull this off—especially since Slade would apparently be around for a couple of weeks—then he was going to have to try harder than this.

“So,” Dick said, “am I allowed to ask what it is exactly that you do, Mr. Wilson?”

Slade didn’t say anything for a minute.

Finally he said, “You can call me Slade.”

“Of course,” Dick said.

“I will be investigating something in the PR department for Mr. Wayne,” Slade said.

“I see,” Dick said. _Too bad for them_ , he thought. Slade had a kind of menacing air. It was something he’d noticed at The Court too. Slade paid for private dances sometimes, only a few times with Dick, but he never seemed particularly affected by anything. Then there was the whole not caring who knew who he was or that he was there thing. People who didn’t care about that kind of stuff were the people nobody wanted to mess with.

When the elevator arrived at the first floor, the tour officially began. Dick got caught up in talking about the building and WE’s work. Slade wasn’t very chatty except for a few questions here and there, so his wariness about the situation almost went away.

But not quite.

It wasn’t until they made it to the 13th floor—that’s where the social media team had their offices—that Slade really started asking him questions. Dick had worked for WE for years, and he knew just about everybody, so he was able to answer most of them. Of course, most of the things he wanted to know involved the people who worked for the PR department. Dick felt kind of bad about it, because he didn’t know what Slade was investigating or why he was so interested in Dick’s coworkers. But it was what he was supposed to do, so he answered the questions.

They made it to the R&D department, and Dick was talking about the company’s work in artificial intelligence, when Slade, apropos of nothing, looked over at Dick and said, “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Dick felt a spike of anxiety.

“No,” Dick lied. “I think I would remember the eyepatch.”

Slade just looked at him, saying nothing. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

“You seem...familiar somehow,” Slade said.

Dick shrugged and said, “I get that a lot.”

Slade didn’t say anything else, so Dick just kept walking and said, “Would you like to see the green tech division?”

Slade didn’t say yes, but followed Dick over to the next laboratory. He didn’t mention possibly knowing Dick from somewhere else for the rest of the tour.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they’d walked far enough away not to be overheard, Mr. Wayne looked over at Dick and said, “Damian has been suspended from school today. Do you mind keeping an eye on him for me?"
> 
> “Oh,” Dick said, surprised. “No, not at all.”

Dick was the second after Tim to arrive at work the next morning, which was becoming something of a routine. Usually it would be Duke who arrived next, so Dick was caught off guard when Jason was the third to show up at work. Tim and Dick both looked up when he walked around the corner.

They must’ve stared a little too long, because Jason glared at them and snapped, “What?”

Tim didn’t say anything, but Dick said, “You’re early.”

“So?” Jason said.

He sounded mad, so Dick dropped it and went back to answering his emails.

Jason’s computer had been returned by the guy from IT, so Jason sat down at his desk and powered it on. For a while the office was quiet except for the sounds of Dick and Tim typing.

Then, out of nowhere, Jason asked, “Who was that guy you were talking to yesterday?”

Tim and Dick both looked up again, but Jason was looking at Dick. Dick was about to ask what he was talking about, but then he remembered Roy’s impromptu visit.

“The redhead?” Dick asked.

Jason nodded.

“That’s Roy. He’s one of my roommates.”

Dick recalled suddenly how Jason had walked into the break room while he and Roy were talking, but turned around and left before Dick could say anything.

“Oh,” Jason said, and turned back to his computer.

“Why?” Dick asked.

“No reason,” Jason said, shrugging.

Dick narrowed his eyes at him, but Jason was still pretending like he couldn’t tell Dick was staring at him.

“Why?” Dick asked.

Jason sucked in an irritated breath and said, “Jesus. I may have...hooked up with him last year.”

Dick’s eyes widened in shock.

“You and Roy?” he said.

In a way, it kind of made sense. Jason was definitely Roy’s type. But Dick hadn’t realized that Roy was Jason’s type.

“Yes, me and Roy,” Jason said.

“Oh,” Dick said. “That’s…”

He didn’t know how to finish the sentence, and Jason looked up at him, eyes narrowed with suspicion all of the sudden.

“That’s what?” he said.

“Nothing. I just didn’t know you liked men,” Dick said.

“Why would you know that about me?” Jason asked. “And for the record, I like everybody. Girls, guys, non-binary people, whatever, I don’t give a shit.”

“The word you’re looking for is pansexual,” Tim said.

“You are not a part of this conversation,” Jason snapped at him.

Tim cocked his head and asked, “The conversation you’re having in the middle of the office where we both work?”

“Guys, come on,” Dick said, hoping to prevent a fight before one started. As much as he wanted Alfred’s job, he didn’t want to get it because two of his coworkers were fired for punching each other.

Jason glared at Tim a second longer, then eyed Dick up and down. He was surprisingly crabby for so early in the morning. But then, Dick suspected that Jason was crabby most of the time.

“Do you want me to give you his number?” Dick asked Jason.

Jason’s eyebrows lifted and he said, “I gave him mine, actually. He never called.”

“Oh,” Dick said.

“Yeah. _Oh_ ,” Jason said.

Then he turned back to his monitor, pointedly ignoring Dick.

Dick wondered if he knew about Lian, but his train of thought was derailed as Mr. Wayne came around the corner with Damian in tow. Damian’s arms were crossed over his chest and he was glowering with as much ferocity as Jason. Mr. Wayne looked like he was in a pretty stormy mood too. Dick wondered if it was something in the air.

“Hey Damian,” Dick said, smiling at the teen before looking up at his boss. “Morning Mr. Wayne.”

“Good morning,” Mr. Wayne said, looking around at him, Tim, and Jason. Then he looked back to Dick and jerked his head back, saying, “Dick, can I talk to you for a moment privately?”

“Sure,” Dick said.

Dick got up and followed Mr. Wayne back into the deserted hallway. Damian stayed in the interns’ corner, seeming to understand that he was supposed to stay with Tim and Jason without having been told to do it. Not that he seemed pleased to be there.

When they’d walked far enough away not to be overheard, Mr. Wayne looked over at Dick and said, “Damian has been suspended from school today. Do you mind keeping an eye on him for me?"

“Oh,” Dick said, surprised. “No, not at all.”

“I know this is highly unusual. I would watch him myself, but I will be stuck in board meetings with Alfred most of the day. You can have him help with whatever you think is appropriate,” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick thought it over. Babysitting a teenager wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but Alfred’s job was always lingering at the back of his mind. A whole day with Damian was a good chance to butter him up, and to show Mr. Wayne that he was adaptable. And responsible.

“I can keep an eye on him,” Dick said.

“Thank you, Dick,” Mr. Wayne said. Then he stepped to the side, and barked, “Damian!”

He called loud enough for Damian to hear, and Damian stepped out of the interns’ corner and stalked toward them. He stopped when he reached Dick and his father and crossed his arms over his chest again, glaring even more furiously than before.

“You’ll be shadowing Dick today. Do whatever he tells you to do. Understood?” Mr. Wayne asked.

Damian didn’t say anything. Mr. Wayne just raised his eyebrows and waited.

“You expect me to work? That doesn’t sound legal,” Damian finally said.

“Nepotism in a nutshell,” Mr. Wayne replied dryly.

“You’re also not paying me for my labor.”

“I am aware of that. Will you listen to Dick or not?”

Damian sighed and said, “I suppose.”

“You’d better, or Jon’s not allowed to come over for a month.”

“Fine,” Damian snarled.

“Good,” Mr. Wayne said.

Then Mr. Wayne looked over at Dick and said, “We will be breaking for lunch at noon. You can bring Damian by my office then so you can go to your lunch.”

Dick nodded at him, and Mr. Wayne turned and headed back to his office without another word.

Damian glared at his father’s back until he turned a corner and disappeared. Then he turned his annoyance to Dick, and Dick sighed internally. It was unreal how moody Damian could be, and Dick hoped that Damian wasn’t going to find some way to pin the blame for his situation on him.

“So,” Dick said, smiling at him as he turned to go back to the interns’ corner. “A day off from school. It sounds kind of fun. Almost like a field trip.”

Damian followed him back and said, “ _Tt_. I spend plenty of time here as it is.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be different when I’m introducing you to people. I can tell you who’s really cool,” Dick said.

Damian looked thoughtful and said, “I suppose it would be a good idea to assess the company’s weaknesses.” He looked pointedly at Tim as they walked back to the interns’ work area.

Tim ignored Damian, but Dick said, “That’s the spirit,” as he grabbed an extra chair. He wheeled it over to his desk and patted it, indicating that Damian should sit next to him.

Damian did, but he did not look happy about it.

Dick was about to ask Damian how Jon was doing, but was preemptively interrupted by Stephanie, who was rambling loudly about some club to Cass as they walked in holding to-go coffee cups from Quinn’s Cafe.

“—people only say that because Barbatos is new, but it’s like, the pretentious goth club. Anybody with half a brain knows that the music is way better at The Clocktower,” Stephanie said.

“I’ve never been,” Cass said.

“You should go with me!” Stephanie said.

Then Stephanie and Cass finally noticed Damian and Cass asked, “What are you doing here?”

Damian glowered up at them.

“Damian’s spending the day here,” Dick said, answering for him.

“Oh?” Stephanie said. She cocked her head at Damian and said, “What for?”

“Some kind of career day field trip thing,” Dick lied.

Dick didn’t miss the assessing look that Damian shot at him.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Stephanie said. Then she looked over at Dick, eyeing him with a steady gaze. “And you are...showing him around?”

“Yes,” Dick said. “Bruce asked me to.”

Both Cass and Stephanie’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“Huh,” Cass said.

“ _Interesting_ ,” Stephanie said, drawing the word out. “You?”

Dick smiled cheerily up at them, thinking to himself, _Checkmate_.

“Yes,” Dick said, and then he pointedly turned to Damian to ask him about Jon.

* * *

Dick took Damian through the financial department on their way over to to the PR department, and they happened to run into Selina Kyle on the way.

“Hello,” Selina said. She smiled down at Damian in her usual way, curled and slightly mocking like the Cheshire cat.

She was wearing a tight lace sheath dress. It was the kind of dress that was right on the edge of being more appropriate for a night at one of Gotham’s most exclusive clubs than an office. Her lipstick was red, but so dark it was almost black. She couldn’t have been more different than the previous CFO of Wayne Enterprises, but there was no denying that she was the best person for the job. Everyone in the finance department was equal parts enthralled by and terrified of her.

Still, it was obvious that Damian was not impressed by her in the slightest. He shook her hand when she offered it, but gave her this narrow-eyed look the whole time.

Somehow she must’ve already known about Damian’s suspension, because she didn’t bother asking him what he was doing there. Instead she asked, “How are you enjoying your day at WE so far?”

“It has been acceptable, although some of the departments do leave much to be desired,” Damian said, casting a pointed look around at the financial department.

Dick frowned down at Damian, surprised by this. But Selina just smiled at Damian, ignoring the barb.

“I am sure,” she said. “There is always room for improvement. I would be interested in hearing your feedback.”

“I think you would find some of my comments upsetting,” Damian said.

“Of course not. A new pair of eyes are always an asset,” she said.

They were beginning to attract some attention from some of the people working in the cubicles nearby, and Damian’s obviously negative opinion of Selina and by extension the financial department was not a good first impression, so Dick intervened before Damian could say anything too damning in front of the other employees.

“Hey Damian, we should get going,” Dick said. “Sorry, Ms. Kyle. We're headed to a meeting over in PR.”

Damian looked up at him and scowled.

“I’ll see you boys around,” Selina said before going back to her office.

Dick steered Damian away from finance and they headed down the stairs to PR.

“I do not trust Selina Kyle,” Damian said on the way down.

Dick nodded and said, “It’s pretty obvious.”

“She was accused of embezzlement at her previous company. Did you know that?’” Damian asked.

Dick nodded again and said, “I heard. She wasn’t convicted, though.”

“Only because no one could prove that she stole the money.”

“You think she’s stealing from WE?” Dick asked.

Damian thought about the question, but he didn’t answer it. Instead he said, “She is sleeping with my father.”

This was news. Dick looked at him, one eyebrow raised, and said, “Really?”

“They think I am an imbecile and do not know, but I do,” Damian said. “There’s only so many times that someone can come over late at night to deal with a work issue before the excuse begins to wear thin. Not that I didn’t see through that farce from the very beginning.”

“You don’t approve?” Dick asked.

“ _Tt_. _He_ may trust her, but I don’t.”

Dick smiled at him and said, “Well, them seeing each other is...maybe a good thing, right?”

Damian cocked an eyebrow and said, “How?”

Dick thought about the question and said, “Well...they’re both really smart, and they work hard for a lot of people. It’s stressful, and it’s not the kind of situation just anybody can understand. It’s probably good for him to have somebody who understands the pressure, right?”

Damian did not answer the question. But he didn’t protest either, so Dick thought maybe that was a sign Damian was considering the relationship from a different perspective—his father’s perspective.

Then Damian stopped abruptly behind Dick on a mezzanine. Dick saw him linger out of the corner of his eye and stopped too, turning back to stare up at Damian inquisitively.

“You’re probably wondering what it was that I did to get suspended,” Damian said.

“Not really. I got suspended a lot when I was in school. I imagine there’s nothing you’ve done that I haven’t heard about or done before,” Dick said.

“I stole a horse,” Damian told him.

Dick cocked his head and said, “I’m sorry?”

“I stole a horse. The riding teacher was not listening to me when I said that he was neglecting his care. So after class was over I stole him.”

Dick absorbed this for a moment.

“How did you not get expelled?” Dick asked.

“Because Father paid for the horse, and he offered to buy a new one for the school. But now he is upset because we have to find some way to keep the horse at Wayne Manor.”

“I see,” Dick said.

It certainly sounded like an upsetting situation.

“So, how do you steal a horse exactly?” Dick asked.

Damian frowned and said, “You ride it.”

He said it as if this was obvious, and Dick supposed that it was.

The moment stretched on awkwardly for a moment, but finally Dick snorted. Damian narrowed his eyes a little, but Dick shook his head and smiled before Damian could accuse him of making fun of him.

“Well, I take it back. That’s one I haven’t heard before.” Then he added, “I guess you can really say that you got suspended for _horsing_ around.”

Damian stared at Dick for a moment while this joke sank in, and Dick could tell from his expression that he was supremely unimpressed.

“Your jokes are almost as bad as my father’s,” Damian finally said.

“Come on, that was a good one,” Dick said, grinning at him. “But seriously, maybe next time you should think things through first and talk to your dad, right? Rein it in a little.”

Damian’s expression finally cracked into a ghost of a smile.

“Don’t just gallop off and do something rash,” Dick said.

Damian’s face twisted into a real smile, but he looked like he was doing his best to cling onto his composure.

“Come on, let’s go,” Dick insisted. “We don’t want to be late for this meeting."

“ _I_ do,” Damian said.

Dick leaned in conspiratorially and told him, “It’s not really a meeting. It’s Jervis’s birthday so they’re having cake, and they asked me if I wanted to come.”

Damian’s eyes lit up a little bit at the thought of cake, and he followed Dick the rest of the way without complaint.

* * *

Mr. Wayne’s thing with the board ran a little late, so Dick was late meeting the others for lunch. By the time he arrived in the cafeteria, Jason, Duke, Steph, and Harper were all eating at a table together. Tim, Cass, and Barbara weren’t there.

“Hey,” Dick said, sliding his tray onto the table as he sat in the empty chair.

“Hey,” Jason said.

He was starving, so he dug into his spinach and cheese ravioli without really greeting any of the others.

“How was your day with the demon brat?” Steph asked him.

Dick gave her a curious look over his fork and said, “Demon brat?”

“Damian,” Jason explained.

Dick swallowed his ravioli—it was burning his mouth, and he was regretting inhaling it so fast—and shot Stephanie a confused look.

“I thought you liked Damian,” Dick said.

“I do,” Stephanie said, shrugging. “That’s just what Tim calls him.”

Dick didn’t really approve, but Damian wasn’t very nice to Tim, so he supposed he couldn’t begrudge Tim for giving him a less than complimentary nickname.

“Did he tell you why he got suspended?” Jason asked.

“Suspended?” Stephanie said, glancing between Dick and Jason. “I thought he was doing some kind of career day thing.”

“No, Dick lied about that. He got suspended. Mr. Wayne told Tim, but Tim wouldn’t tell me the details,” Jason said. Then he looked to Dick again and said, “Well?”

Dick thought about the story about the stolen horse, and almost wanted to tell them just so that Stephanie and Tim would have to feel bad about calling him “demon brat”. But it wasn’t his story to tell, so he just shrugged and said, “Nope.”

Stephanie narrowed her eyes at him and said, “Well, I for one think it’s garbage that you lied to me and Cass so blatantly. _Career day._ ” She snorted.

“Enough about the kid,” Jason said, and nudged her. “Tell us.”

“No!” she said.

“Tell us what?” Dick asked, looking to Duke and Harper for help.

It was Harper who supplied the answer.

“Cass ran upstairs around 11:30 or so and whispered something in Stephanie’s ear, but Stephanie won’t tell us what Cass said,” Harper explained.

“Because Cass trusts me and she would hate for people to think that she’s a gossip. If I tell you what she told me, that’s a betrayal of trust,” Stephanie said.

“She gasped,” Jason said, and then Jason gasped, in an exaggerated sort of way, clearly meant to mimic Stephanie.

“I can’t tell you!” Stephanie said, shaking her head.

“You obviously want to,” Duke said, rolling his eyes.

Stephanie pursed her lips together, and then she sat up a little straighter and looked around them at the cafeteria. She turned back to them and leaned in, lowering her voice when she said, “Ok, I’ll tell you. But you have to keep it on the down low.”

“God, just fucking tell us,” Jason said.

“Cass was downstairs running an errand for Alfred and she saw Tim with this really cute redheaded courier guy,” Stephanie said.

Dick gazed at her, unimpressed.

“That’s it?” Harper said, apparently feeling the same way.

Stephanie’s shoulders bunched, and when she spoke again Dick could hear how defensive she was already.

“Cass said the guy kissed him on the cheek. They were holding hands and they were really flirty,” Stephanie said.

“Ok, so?” Duke said.

“Oh my god,” Stephanie said, and set down her fork on the table with a snap. “You guys don’t get it.”

“Apparently we don’t,” Jason said.

“Tim is with that other guy, the guy with dark hair,” she said.

Dick frowned and asked, “The one he was talking about the other day? Didn’t he say they’re just friends?”

“He did say that, but he was lying. I saw him kiss that guy before they got into a car together over in the parking garage at the newspaper.”

“What were you doing at the newspaper?” Harper asked.

“Yeah, are you stalking Tim now?” Jason asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“No! I was meeting my friend Kara because we were going to dinner together and I happened to see them together,” Stephanie said.

“I don’t understand,” Duke said, and Harper and Dick nodded. He had no idea why any of this was important.

“Keep up!” Stephanie said with a huff. “If Tim is really with that dark-haired guy, that means he’s probably cheating on him with the redhead Cass saw him with this morning.”

Dick thought about it and shrugged.

“Well...maybe,” Dick said.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s possible, but it doesn’t really seem like any of our business,” Harper said.

A harsh laugh escaped from Jason’s throat, and they all looked over at him.

“No way,” Jason said.

“What?” Duke asked.

“There’s no way that _Tim_ is cheating on somebody. I have a hard time believing he can get one boyfriend, let alone two,” Jason said.

Stephanie got up from the table and picked up her tray, shooting a cool look at Jason as she said, “Fine. Don’t believe me. But I’m not the liar around here, and neither is Cass.” This last part was directed at Dick.

“Where are you going?” Harper asked, but Stephanie ignored her and walked away.

Dick shook his head and finished his ravioli.

Next to him, Jason laughed again.

“What?” Dick said.

“Sorry, it’s just, that guy? Tim?” Jason asked.

“Why are you being so bitchy about Tim lately?” Dick asked. “You’re going to get yourself into trouble.”

Jason glared at him, but didn’t answer the question. Duke and Harper got back to the subject of Damian and how he could have gotten suspended, but Jason didn’t join the conversation. When Dick looked over at him a little while later, he saw that Jason was frowning down at his food, almost looking like he was puzzled about something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this chapter is so late :( things have been crazy at work the past couple of weeks and I didn't have enough time to work on two stories. I hope to get back to more of a regular posting schedule soon.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephanie was practically bouncing in her chair as Dick got settled and pulled up his work email. There were fifty-six new messages, so it took him awhile to figure out which one she was so excited about. Then he saw it, twenty-three emails down.
> 
> The subject line read, Interview for Administrative Assistant position.

Dick was late getting into work the next morning because he had to go by the pharmacy. As he walked toward their corner of the office, he could hear hushed voices all trying to talk over each other.

When Dick walked around the corner, all of the voices immediately shut up. But when Stephanie realized it was him, she said, “There you are! Check your email!”

“Ok, ok,” Dick said, setting his stuff down on his desk. “Give me a minute.”

Stephanie was practically bouncing in her chair as Dick got settled and pulled up his work email. There were fifty-six new messages, so it took him awhile to figure out which one she was so excited about. Then he saw it, twenty-three emails down.

The subject line read, _Interview for Administrative Assistant position._

Dick clicked on the email and quickly read the message.

_Dick,_

_Are you available to meet with me on Thursday, February 28 at 10 a.m. about the administrative assistant position? The interview should take about an hour._

_Bruce Wayne, CEO  
_ _Wayne Enterprises_

When Dick looked up from his computer, it was to find that Stephanie, Harper, Jason, and Duke were all staring at him. Tim had spilled coffee on his shirt and was trying to rub the stain out with a paper towel. Barbara was on the phone. Cass wasn’t there.

“Did you get an interview?” Steph asked.

Dick nodded.

“When?” Jason asked.

“On the 28th,” Dick told them.

“Same day as me,” Duke said.

“You got one too?” Dick asked him.

Duke nodded, and then there was a chorus of sames and me toos around the room. The only ones who did not mention whether or not they had interviews were Barbara and Tim. Of course, no one was surprised about Barbara, but Tim was still trying to get coffee out of his white shirt and seemed, for all intents and purposes, to not be paying attention.

“Seven days to prepare is not enough,” Harper said. “Mine’s on the 27th.”

“Prepare what exactly?” Jason asked her. “You’re interviewing for an administrative assistant job, not auditioning for Broadway.”

Harper shrugged and said, “I don’t know, just...prepare. Think about the kinds of questions he’s going to ask. That sort of thing.”

“I hope he doesn’t ask why I’m interested in the position,” Stephanie said, snorting. “That could get awkward fast.”

“That’s a pretty routine interview question,” Tim said, apparently listening to the conversation after all.

Stephanie narrowed her eyes consideringly at Tim and then exchanged sly a look with—of all people—Jason.

She turned back to Tim and folded her hands one on top of the other on her desk and asked, “What would you say in response to that question?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never applied for a job I didn’t want,” Tim said.

Jason made one of the most exaggerated eye rolls Dick had ever seen. Tim was still focused on his shirt, though, so he missed it.

“Well it’s not that I don’t _want_ the job…” Stephanie said, but she trailed off and didn’t finish the sentence.

“No one expects being an administrative assistant to be your dream career,” Barbara said.

Then Duke sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat. He looked over at Tim, and in a tone of casual curiosity, said, “So uh, Tim. What would you consider to be your dream job? IT?”

Tim still didn’t look up from the stain on his shirt. Jason looked over at Duke and mouthed, _Smooth_.

As clumsy as the question was though, all of them sat up a bit straighter, eager for his response.

But all Tim said was, “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

Behind Tim’s back, Stephanie threw up her hands in a gesture of frustration.

This was getting absurd. Dick was about to just blurt the question out and get it over with, but Alfred walked around the corner and immediately began handing out tasks, so Dick didn’t get the chance.

* * *

Around 2 in the afternoon, Alfred sent Dick down to the financial department to fetch Duke. Dick found him sitting by himself at one of the floater workstations for interns and temp employees. He had his headphones on and he was staring at his computer screen.

Dick walked up to the cubicle and threw an arm over the low partition, saying, “Hey man.”

Duke started and looked up at Dick, yanking one earbud out of his ear. He didn’t say anything, just stared at Dick.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” Dick said.

“What is it?” Duke asked.

Dick didn’t respond, momentarily caught off guard. Duke sounded irritated.

“Alfred sent me to fetch you,” Dick told him when he’d recovered his wits. “He said you agreed to help him out with something?”

“Oh, yeah,” Duke said.

Without another word, Duke locked his computer screen and got up to walk past Dick over to the elevator. He walked on while another passenger was getting off and didn’t wait for Dick to join him on the way up. Dick didn’t make it in time before the doors slid shut.

“That’s fine,” Dick said to himself. “I can take the stairs. I need the exercise anyway.”

Duke was still busy with Alfred when Dick made it back to the interns’ corner, and Jason and Harper were the only ones back at their desks, so he decided to ask Jason about it.

“What do you mean, he’s acting weird?” Jason said.

Jason was in the middle of hand-writing the place settings for Alfred’s retirement reception, a task he’d complained about at length before lunch. There was no denying he was good at it, however; his handwriting was surprisingly elegant.

“I mean Duke barely looked at me. When I walked up to him and said hey he just looked at me and was like ‘What?’”

“I know that this may come as a shock, but everyone currently breathing right now is not obligated to like you,” Jason said.

Dick thought about this for a moment. It was true he had noticed that Duke didn’t seem to be his biggest fan, but he was usually polite enough to say hello. Giving Dick the brush off like that was out of character. And not holding the elevator for him? Maybe it had something to do with the interview. Dick mentally reviewed the conversation they’d had that morning about it, however, and couldn’t think of anything he’d said that might’ve pissed Duke off. Dick shook his head. No, he was definitely right about this—something was going on with the kid.

“I think you should talk to him,” Dick told Jason.

Jason looked up from the placeholder he was working on and shot Dick a doubtful look.

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Because you’re friends.”

Jason just kept giving him that doubtful look.

Dick glanced over his shoulder at Harper and said, “Back me up here. He should talk to Duke right?”

Harper looked up, gazed at him in confusion, and then took of her headphones, asking, “What?”

“Ok, never mind, you weren’t listening,” Dick said, and he turned back to Jason and said, “Ask him.”

“Why don’t you ask him, since you’re all worked up over it,” Jason said, going back to the placeholder.   

“Because he likes you better than he likes me and he’ll be annoyed if I ask him what’s going on,” Dick said.

“Maybe he likes me better because I mind my own fucking business,” Jason said, drawing a flourish on a y.

Dick rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer, giving up on the conversation. Why anyone would choose to be friends with Jason Todd was one of the world’s greatest mysteries.

* * *

Jason never asked Duke what was going on, but Dick found that he couldn’t let it go. He wasn’t the only one who noticed it either. There were a couple of other weird interactions Dick observed that just solidified Dick’s theory that something was the matter with Duke.

The first interaction he observed was when Steph came over to Duke’s desk around 3:45 and asked if she could borrow his phone charger again. Duke pulled it out of the outlet and handed it over without even looking at her. Stephanie shot Duke a perplexed look as she took the charger back over to her own workstation, but she didn’t say anything.

The second odd interaction Dick observed was between Duke and Cass. Cass came over to Duke’s workstation and asked him if he wouldn’t mind taking over a call, since he was generally better at customer service than most of them and knew more about what the caller wanted anyway. Duke just sighed when Cass asked and said, “Forward the call.” Then he was monotone on the phone with the caller for five minutes.

The end of the day finally began its approach, and Mr. Wayne left the office early. Jason had his foot up on his desk and was texting, and the girls started talking about what they were going to eat for dinner that night. Tim had Spotify open on his computer and was making a playlist. Dick decided to take advantage of the downtime and turned to Duke, who had been glowering at his computer monitor for most of the past hour.

“So Duke,” Dick said, “how’s everything going?”

Duke looked up at him, one eyebrow raised and said, “What?”

“You know...just, things,” Dick said. “How’s life?”

Duke gazed at him for a moment, looking mystified and annoyed in equal measures.

“Uh, fine?” Duke said at last, and shrugged. “Good.”

“Are you sure?” Dick asked. “Because it seems like you’ve been kind of—I don’t know—tense today.”

Duke glanced around at the other desks connected to theirs. The conversation was drawing some attention, which was not what Dick had intended. He could see Jason looking up from his phone and Tim’s typing had halted.

“I’m fine,” Duke finally said, although he still sounded anything but.

“Are you sure?” Dick asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because you’re acting like a total bitch today,” Jason said.

Dick turned to Jason, frowning, but Jason was staring down at his phone, quickly typing something.

“Really man?” Dick said.

“I call them like I see them,” Jason said, still not looking up from his phone.

“You act like a total bitch every day,” Stephanie said.

Jason raised an eyebrow and said, “Yeah, that’s how I know.”

Dick turned back to Duke and smiled apologetically at him.

“Sorry,” he told Duke. “If you say you’re fine then I believe you. I’m just being nosy.”

Duke frowned and said, “You’re good. It’s just...”

He trailed off, and the silence went on for so long that Dick could tell he didn’t intend to finish the sentence.

“Something going on?” Dick asked.

“Yeah. No, I mean, kind of. My dad’s back in town and he’s just like, being an asshole. He’ll be gone again by Monday,” Duke said.

Across the workroom, Harper said, “I thought your mom and your dad were still together? Did they break up?”

“No, they’re still together. My mom’s married to my stepdad. It’s my biological dad who is back in town,” Duke said.

Across the table, Jason snorted and said, “He hit you up for money or something?”

Duke looked sharply up at Jason, and said, “What?”

“That’s what my bio mom does every time she blows through town,” Jason said, still not looking up from his phone. “Asks for money and a couch to crash on, and if I don’t give her the money she tries to sell my shit. It’s almost as bad as living with my dad.”

“Big mood,” Stephanie said. Then she made finger guns and said, “That’s why I’m glad my dad’s in Blackgate until 2024.”

“Ha! Mine’s in Blackgate until 2027,” Harper said.

Dick turned around to face the girls’ side of the room and said, “Wait, both of your dads are in _prison_?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” Steph said, and she and Harper high-fived.

Dick wondered why he was so surprised. This was Gotham, after all.

But he was supposed to be focused on Duke, so he just shook his head and turned back around to face his deskmate.

“So you and your dad don’t get along?” Dick asked Duke.

Duke shook his head and said, “It’s not like he steals from me or anything. He wants me to follow in his footsteps and do what he did and I don’t want to do that. He doesn’t get why.” Duke made a face and, under his breath, muttered, “Even though he should because he was never around when I was a kid.”

Dick didn’t know what to say to that. His parents had been his entire world before the accident.

“I’m sorry, that sucks. I wish I knew what to say,” Dick said.

“What exactly does following in his footsteps entail?” Harper asked Duke. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Oh, well, he’s a writer,” Duke told her. “He says he’ll pay for my classes, but he doesn’t approve of the fact that I’m studying business. He thinks I should focus on my poetry, but I’ve tried to argue that it’s really hard to make a living off writing poetry. Just because I have another job to pay the bills doesn’t mean I can’t also write poetry in my free time.”

“Sounds sensible,” Stephanie agreed.

Jason looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes at Duke, asking, “What’s your dad’s name?”

“Gabriel Moore,” Duke said.

Jason’s feet slid off his desk and he sat up straighter, shooting Duke a disbelieving look over the partition.

“You mean to tell me that your dad is the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of _Gnomon_ and you didn’t tell me?” Jason asked.

Duke shrugged. “It never came up? Anyway he’s just my biological dad. It’s not like he raised me.”

“ _Gabriel Moore_ ,” Jason said, disbelieving. “I wrote a paper about _Gnomon_ last year.”

“Personally I think _The Signal_ is his better work,” Barbara said.

Dick exchanged a mystified look with Tim. He had never heard of Gabriel Moore before or _Gnomon_ or _The Signal_ , but he had never loved reading.

“Anyway, he’s here promoting his new book. His next stop on his tour is in Chicago so he’ll be leaving at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning. I can put up with him until then.” Duke made a face at Dick and shrugged, eyeing Jason and Harper and Stephanie before he added, “I guess I can’t complain that much. It could be worse.”

As Duke turned back to his work, Dick thought that maybe he wasn’t as irritated anymore, and Dick was glad about that.

 _You shouldn’t be getting this attached to them_ , the mean part of Dick’s brain whispered. After all, Duke had his interview on the same day as Dick. The more he learned about his coworkers, he realized, the less he wanted to beat them out for Alfred’s job. But he still needed the job.

It was becoming a problem.

* * *

Dick made it all the way back to his apartment before he realized he’d left his keys on his desk. He groaned and knocked on the door.

Seconds dragged on, and Dick couldn’t hear any sounds of activity within the apartment. He knocked again, a little louder this time. Donna was a bartender and usually slept through the day, but if he knocked hard enough he was sure she’d wake up. That was, if she hadn’t left for work already.

Dick banged on the door and yelled, “Donna? Garth? Roy? Lian? Is anybody in there?”

When there was still no response, Dick pulled out his phone and texted the group.

Dick: I forgot my key at work. Come let me in

He had to wait for a bit, but finally his roommates started responding.

Garth: I’m in practice rn

Donna: I left for work already, sorry!

Megan: I’m having dinner with my uncle :(

Roy: I took Lian to Central City to visit Ollie and Dinah

Wally was the only one who didn’t respond, but Wally was hardly ever home and he was really bad about checking his messages, so Dick just assumed he’d be no help either.

“Damn,” Dick muttered, and let his head fall forward to hit his door. Five roommates and not a single one of them was home on the day he forgot his key at work. How was that even possible?

So Dick got back on the train and went all the way back to WE to go get his keys. It was pitch black outside by the time Dick got there, but Vic, one of the security guards, let him in anyway. The halls of WE were weirdly empty and deserted at that time of the night. He rode up to the executive floor on an elevator by himself.

When he made it back up to the executive floor, however, it became obvious that there were still people hanging around in the office. He could hear voices coming from the interns’ corner as he headed that way. It almost sounded like there was an argument.

“—don’t get how it’s any of your business—”

“Oh shut up, man. There’s no good reason for you to still be here right now—”

“I told you I was working on an IT problem for Mr. Wayne! Sometimes these things take a long time!”

“Mr. Wayne has actual IT people—!”

Dick walked around the corner at that moment and the argument stopped immediately.  

It was Tim and Jason. It looked like Jason was in the middle of trying to pull Tim out of his chair. He’d grabbed Tim under his armpits, and Tim had his foot hooked under his desk drawer, as if using it as an anchor.

Dick looked at Tim. Then he looked at Jason. Neither of them said anything. Jason didn’t put Tim down.

“Hey guys,” Dick said. “What’s going on?”

Jason set Tim back in his desk chair without a word. Once seated again, Tim glanced up at Jason and glared.

“Nothing,” Tim said.

“Are you sure? Because that didn’t look like nothing,” Dick said.

“What are you doing here, Dickhead?” Jason snapped.

Dick went over to his workstation and grabbed his keys. He rattled them at Jason and Tim, then took a couple of steps back and waited. His evening was already ruined—he was at least going to find out what the hell was going on.

The awkward silence dragged on for about a minute until Tim finally burst and said, “Jason was trying to bully me into going home!”

Dick checked the time on his phone. It was almost 8.

“Well, you should probably go home. But why were you trying to bully him into going home?” This question was directed at Jason.

“Because he’s working on IT shit and he’s not IT,” Jason raged, pointing at Tim’s screen. “He’s an intern. He doesn’t even get paid overtime for this shit.”

Dick frowned at Jason, puzzled. It wasn’t like Dick disagreed with Jason, he just didn’t understand why Jason cared.

“You’re just pissed because Mr. Wayne trusts me more than you,” Tim said.

Jason turned his furious gaze on Tim and snarled, “Fine. Waste your life up here doing shit for somebody who doesn’t deserve it, why the fuck do I care?”

Then Jason stormed off, getting so close to Dick that he almost checked him.

When he was gone, Dick turned back to Tim and said, “He has a point. You should go home. Don’t you have friends who are always blowing up your phone? I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

“I can see them when I’m done with this,” Tim said, gesturing at his computer.

Dick sighed as he turned to leave and said, “Don’t stay too late, Tim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I last updated Qualified :( Finishing Sons of Sirens was harder than I thought it would be. I should be able to get back to posting chapters of Qualified regularly now.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is it?” Dick asked, still coughing a little.
> 
> “A member of the Court has requested a private dance. Room F,” Mr. March told him.
> 
> “I just got off stage,” Dick said. He wasn’t even fully clothed yet. “Can’t one of the others do it?”
> 
> “Get dressed and stop wasting time, Talon. This Court member requested you specifically.”

Dick was in one of the Court’s back rooms drinking some water when a voice behind him barked, “Talon!”

Dick flinched and choked on the water, coughing as he turned to see who had interrupted him.

It was Mr. March. He was wearing the eerie white owl mask that covered his entire face, and he had his arms crossed over his chest.

“What is it?” Dick asked, still coughing a little.

“A member of the Court has requested a private dance. Room F,” Mr. March told him.

“I just got off stage,” Dick said. He wasn’t even fully clothed yet. “Can’t one of the others do it?”

“Get dressed and stop wasting time, Talon. This Court member requested you specifically.”

Mr. March turned and walked out of the room, leaving Dick with his costume pieces and his cup of water. Dick rolled his eyes at Mr. March’s back, but when he was gone he rubbed the sweat off his face and reattached his talon mask. Then he quickly pulled on the rest of his costume so he could head to room F.

There were a couple of regulars who often requested private dances with Dick. Dick wondered if it was going to be Midnighter again. Midnighter was his most enthusiastic regular. He hadn’t seen Tiger in a while, though, so there was a chance it could be him too. Dick hoped for Tiger, because he liked to pretend like he was having a terrible time in Dick’s company and it made things interesting.

As he walked into the private room, however, he didn’t see a tiger mask or the matte black mask that Midnighter wore. The man sitting under the room’s single dim source of light wasn’t wearing a mask at all, in fact.

“Hello Dick Grayson,” Slade said.

Dick shut the door and tilted his head at Slade inquisitively. His pulse was suddenly thrumming in his veins with a nervous intensity. Slade was seated in a chair, and there was a glass of some amber-colored alcohol in his hand.

Dick approached him and said, “I’m sorry?”

Slade’s expression didn’t change. He just kept staring up at Dick with his uncovered eye, and he said, “Don’t play dumb. I commend you for attempting to maintain the facade, but I’d know that ass anywhere.”

Dick took two seconds to think about it and made his decision.

“Ok, what do you want?” Dick asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That was easy. I’m almost disappointed.”

Slade leaned back in the chair, and Dick was disappointed in himself for noticing that Slade looked good. He was wearing a grey tailored suit, but the jacket was unbuttoned and there was no tie. Dick could see a hint of his chest over the collar of his black button-down shirt.  

“If this is some kind of scheme to blackmail me, it won’t work. Mr. Wayne already knows that I’m a stripper and he doesn’t care,” Dick told him.

“Does he?” Slade said, sounding intrigued. “I don’t suppose he’s one of the masked members?”

“No. Mr. Wayne would never come to The Court.”

Slade hummed thoughtfully and tilted his head to the side. He examined Dick’s mask, bare midriff, and blue and black costume with blatant, almost lazy, curiosity.

“So is this what you get off on?” Dick asked him. “Toying with people who are just trying to scrape by?”

Slade met Dick’s gaze, but didn’t answer the question.

“Does Mr. Wayne know about other things that happen at the Court?” Slade asked.

Dick tensed and immediately said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I thought you weren’t going to play dumb.”

Dick did, of course, know exactly what Slade was talking about. He knew Mr. March turned a blind eye to what happened between the Court members and other dancers in the private rooms. Hell, Mr. March had dropped some pretty heavy-handed hints that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if Dick got a little...carried away himself. Dick didn’t judge the dancers who did these things—everybody was struggling to make ends meet—but Dick wouldn’t do that.

Slade already knew this about him.

Dick bent over and put his hand on the back of the seat next to Slade’s head, getting close enough to Slade’s face that he could smell the alcohol on his breath and the remnants of the day’s aftershave.

“Have you ever been in a private room with me and gotten anything else other than a dance?” Dick asked him, his voice low.

“I would remember if I had,” Slade said. He seemed unaffected by Dick’s sudden close proximity.

“That’s right. I’ve never done anything illegal, and I never will. Sorry to disappoint,” Dick said.

“I’m not really the sort of person who needs to pay for that kind of thing.”

Dick didn’t doubt it. Men and women probably threw themselves at Slade all the time.

“Do you want your dance or not?” Dick asked.

Slade tilted his head a little and said, “Actually, I’m here for a different reason.”

Dick frowned and said, “What is it?”

“I came to offer you a job working for my firm.”

Dick straightened and gazed down at Slade, perplexed.

“A job doing what?” Dick asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not even sure of what it is that you do.”

Slade drank some of his whiskey, considering what Dick’s question, and then he said, “I do a little of this and that. Workplace investigations. That sort of thing.”

“How vague,” Dick said.

“Yes, well, it’s not always strictly…legal,” Slade said. He looked pointedly around the private room and added, “ However, you don’t strike me as the kind of person who worries about trifles like whether or not what your employer is doing is always legal. It also pays well, and there are plenty of harmless things you can do for me to ease yourself into the job.”

Dick didn’t know what to say. The job sounded shady and almost ominous. He didn’t know if he could trust Slade. In fact, his gut was telling him that trusting Slade was a really, really bad idea. But on the other hand…

Dick might not get Alfred’s job, and here was a position being offered to him on a silver platter.

Also, trustworthy or not, Slade was hot, and Dick didn’t always make the smartest decisions when it came to hot people.

“I’d have to think about it,” Dick said.

Slade shrugged and said, “Of course.”

That being decided, they both fell silent. Slade didn’t appear to mind, but Dick thought the silence was awkward. He'd never been in a room with a client who knew his real name before. 

“So. Do you want that dance?” Dick asked him.

Slade eyed him and said, “It’s just occurred to me that you’re not really my type.”

Dick narrowed his eyes, and for a long drawn out moment he and Slade just stared at each other.

This was territory that Dick knew how to navigate, though.

He cocked his head and smiled at Slade. “I think you’re lying.”

“Whatever protects your ego, Talon,” Slade said, and put his drink on the side table. He got up, buttoning his suit jacket as he stood.

Then Slade rifled around in his wallet and pulled out a stack of cash and a business card, leaving the pile on the side table next to his melting drink.

“See you at Wayne Enterprises, Mr. Grayson,” Slade said, and he walked out of the room, leaving Dick alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Dick was in a bad mood for the rest of the weekend.

Although Slade paid for the dance Dick didn’t actually perform, Mr. March decided that Dick didn’t dance long enough. This was exacerbated by the fact that Slade left The Court altogether not long after their session concluded. Mr. March yelled at Dick about it in front of all of the other dancers after closing that night, and Dick had been working for Mr. March long enough to know that fighting with the man was pointless.

But it wasn’t just the being yelled at part that Dick was upset about. For some reason he couldn’t stop replaying his conversation with Slade over and over again in his head. He was tempted to take the job, dubious as it sounded. Thinking about the way Slade had lounged in the chair and pretended Dick wasn’t his type just made the desire to take the job all that much more tempting. But what if Slade had done that on purpose?

When he woke up on Monday, he was annoyed to find that his bad mood was still there. He got dressed and ate breakfast before Lian got up, so he was able to sneak out the door before she started crying.

He was grumpy all the way up until the point he got to WE.

Kory waved and smiled at him from the front desk as he walked into the lobby, and seeing her beautiful face made him feel better about the world. He ended up on the elevator with Alfred and they chatted about Alfred’s retirement plans on the way to the executive level. He stopped to talk to Luke, who was heading into a meeting with Mr. Wayne, but only for minute or two.

He thought about what Barbara said the previous week on his way to drop his stuff off at his desk. Being one of Mr. Wayne’s interns wasn’t his dream job by any stretch of the imagination, but people liked him at WE. No one asked him to take his clothes off and he didn’t get pressured to do unsavory things with masked men and women in dark rooms. No one talked down to him just because of his background or lack of education. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something comfortable.

Feeling restored somewhat, Dick headed off to an early morning meeting in the PR department. He didn’t see any of his fellow interns until the meeting ended at half past 11.

As he came around the corner to the interns’ work area, it was to find Barbara and Jason elsewhere and Stephanie, Cass, Duke, and Tim all crowded around Harper’s desk, looking at something she was showing them on her phone. They were whispering too softly for him to hear, so he didn’t catch any of their conversation before he said, “Hey guys. What’s going on?”

The whispering stopped at once and all of their heads snapped up. For a moment they stared at Dick with wide eyes, none of them speaking.

“Hey,” Tim said. “Your meeting’s over already?”

Dick cocked an eyebrow at Tim and asked, “Already? It’s almost time for lunch. That meeting lasted three and a half hours.”

Duke and Cass glanced up at the clock on the wall and Tim checked the time on his phone.

“Oh. You’re right,” Tim said.

“What are you all looking at?” Dick asked.

Cass walked away from Harper’s desk and went to sit down in front of her own computer. Duke and Stephanie did the same thing immediately after her.

“Nothing,” Tim said.

Dick narrowed his eyes at Tim. It was obvious they hadn’t been looking at nothing, but Tim was really hard to read, and the others were acting like they were no longer paying attention to what was happening.

Dick let the silence drag on for a few more pointed seconds, and then he shrugged and said, “Ok.”

Then he went to sit down at his desk.

Dick was preoccupied by going through his email, but that didn’t mean he was totally oblivious to what was happening around him.

No one was talking anymore, first of all, and ordinarily Stephanie talked nonstop. Anything that was said was whispered across the room in a hushed voice.

Also, Dick was pretty sure they were texting each other. Dick could see the light from Tim’s phone screen and could tell he was getting lots of messages, and Stephanie and Harper’s phones kept buzzing on their desks.

An uneasy feeling settled in Dick’s stomach. He tried to tell himself he was just paranoid, but that didn’t help much. As soon as noon arrived, he got up without saying anything to anyone and headed down to the cafeteria.

* * *

Dick sat through most of lunch alone, watching videos on his phone. Just as the hour was about to end, someone pulled a chair out from under the other side of the table and sat down.

It was Jason.

He put his arms on the table and clasped his hands in front of him.

“Hey, there’s something you gotta know.”

Dick turned his phone screen off and said, “Ok?”

“Your photo is on Reddit. Stripper you.”

Dick’s blood turned cold and his phone almost slipped out of his fingers.

“ _What?_ ”

“Yeah. Harper found the thread and showed the others,” Jason said. “They’re all upstairs agonizing over how to tell you. Barbara’s yelling at them and Tim’s trying to figure out if he can hack into the girl’s account and take the picture of you down. The damage might already be done, though.”

Dick shook his head and said, “No, no, this is impossible! I never take my mask off at the Court. How can they even tell it’s me?”

“The photo was taken by another employee. Backstage. It’s some kind of exposé, I guess. She wanted to reveal all the dirty shit your boss is up to.”

Dick groaned and set his phone down on the table, then dropped his head into his palms. Jason, in an unusual show of sympathy, let him stew for a couple of minutes.

When Dick was over the initial panic, he looked back up at Jason and said, “Am I mentioned by name?”

“No.”

“God, I’m not naked in the picture am I?” Dick asked, bracing for the answer.

Jason winced and said, “Well. Not all the way naked. There are some lacy bits covering up your junk at least.”

“Oh, god,” Dick said, groaning.

“Yeah.”

“You said they’re all up there talking about it right now?” Dick asked Jason.

Jason nodded.

“Good,” Dick said, getting up.

Jason followed Dick out of the cafeteria and onto the elevator.

As they headed back up to the executive level, a sort of calm fell over Dick. This was a disaster—that much was true—but it wasn’t like he’d never considered the possibility that something like this might happen. He was kind of amazed that he’d been able to get away with his double life for as long as he had, actually.

Dick stepped off the elevator and made his way down to the interns’ work area, Jason still following behind. He could hear raised voices as they approached, though no one loud enough to draw attention from one of the non-intern employees on that level.

When Dick and Jason walked around the corner, all of the talking immediately ceased. Stephanie, Duke, Harper, and Tim all stared at Dick with what he recognized now were guilty faces. Barbara looked furious. Harper’s face was bright red and she had her arms crossed tightly over her chest.  

“Hey guys,” Dick said, looking around at them all. “Something you all need to tell me?”

Tim frowned at Jason. “You told him?”

“Yeah I told him. Why the hell wouldn’t I tell him?” Jason asked.

“I told you I was going to try to get the picture down first.”

Dick held out his hand toward Tim’s phone and made a _gimme_ gesture with his fingers. “Show me.”

Tim tapped at the screen for a couple of seconds and then handed it to him. The picture of Dick was already up on the screen when Dick flipped it over.

Jason had described it accurately. Dick was naked in the photo, but he was holding up some pieces from his costume that covered his crotch. Just barely.

“Hmm,” Dick said. “Unfortunate.”

He handed the phone back to Tim.

For a minute the other interns just looked at each other and nobody said anything. Barbara crossed her arms over her chest and continued to look angry. Jason stayed standing behind Dick.

“So,” Dick said, after the silence had gone on for too long. “I know you want to ask. Spit it out.”

Stephanie and Duke exchanged a look. Cass stared down at her shoes. Harper didn’t uncross her arms and seemed to not be able to meet Dick’s gaze.

“So it’s true?” Tim asked.

“That I’m a stripper? Yes,” Dick said.

This answer was met with more silence. Dick decided to wait it out.

“So...do you like—” Stephanie started, then stopped.

“Do I…?” Dick said, trying to help. He smiled gamely at her, trying to show her he wasn’t mad.

“How did you get into that line of work?” Stephanie asked.

“Well, I’m attractive and it pays a lot. It’s not really that complicated,” Dick told her.

Stephanie nodded, but didn’t ask any further questions. None of the others were brave enough to ask anything. Their discomfort was palpable.

Dick decided to start being merciful.

“I know what you’re all wondering, so I’ll just say it. Yes, Mr. Wayne knows I’m a stripper. It isn’t a secret, not really. I do it because I make a lot of money, but I don’t like it on account of the fact that my boss there is an asshole. Any other questions?”

“And he doesn’t care?” Tim asked. “Mr. Wayne?”

Dick shook his head. “My parents died when I was ten, Tim. I grew up in the foster system and barely managed to graduate high school. I had to do whatever I could to get out of my foster mom’s house and stripping pays well if you’re good at it. So I started stripping. That’s what I told Mr. Wayne when he asked me why I do it and he said he understood.”

They absorbed this for a moment, and then Duke pointed behind Dick at Jason and said, “And he knew already because…?”

“Because sometimes I teach pole dancing classes at the same gym where his roommate Artemis works out. Jason saw my name on the schedule and started digging, because he’s an asshole like that.”

Dick cocked an eyebrow and shot Jason a look, but Jason just shrugged, unrepentant.

“Um, Dick?” Harper said.

Dick looked back over at her. She was blushing furiously again.

“I’m really sorry that I told everyone. I don’t really have an excuse,” she said.

“It’s fine. Like I said, it’s not a secret. No hard feelings.”

“You should read the post,” Cass told Dick. 

Dick looked over at her, surprised, and said, “Why?”

“The story has gone viral,” Stephanie said. “The local news has already started posting about it and it looks like there might be an investigation. The person who posted the pictures on reddit made some...pretty serious accusations against your boss.”

“Let me guess,” Dick said wearily. “He tried to talk her into doing a little bit more than taking her clothes off?”

Steph nodded and said, “Um, well, that, but also there’s the stuff about the drugs…”

Dick cocked his head and said, “Drugs?”

Some of the tension seemed to float out of them at Dick’s obvious confusion.

Tim said, “You must not have known. The employee who posted on Reddit accused the owner of having dancers sell drugs to clients for that mob boss, Roman Sionis.”

Dick closed his eyes and rubbed his face, thinking, _March, you stupid bastard_.

Well, that was it then. He couldn’t go back to the Court if there was a chance he might get caught up in all of _that_.

“Neat,” Dick said. “Well, I have some reading to do. Any other questions before I go back to work?”

The others looked at each other, then turned back and shook their heads.

Dick nodded and said, “Cool. Let me know if one pops into your mind.”

Then he went to his desk and sat down, going back to his work.

The interns’ corner was unusually quiet for the remainder of the day, but this was fine. Dick had a lot to think about.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was he kidding himself by continuing to hope that he still had a shot at getting Alfred’s job? Stephanie had warned him that his photo had migrated from Reddit to Twitter. On one account, the photo of him had been retweeted thirty two thousand times.
> 
> Not for the first time, he recalled Slade’s job offer.
> 
> “I think I might have other options,” Dick said.
> 
> “Oh yeah?” Roy said.

Roy was up early the next morning with Lian, so Dick told him about everything that had gone down at the Court and WE before he left for work.

“So you’re not going back, right?” Roy asked. In his arms, Lian was helping him hold onto her bottle with her two tiny hands as she greedily drank her formula.

“Last I heard, the Court is shut down until further notice,” Dick said. He poured a generous helping of Lucky Charms into a bowl and then added an equally generous helping of milk. “Mr. March was arrested last night as he was attempting to leave the country.”

The link to the G.C.P.D.report had been texted to him at 3 a.m. by Tim. Mr. March looked pale and hungover in his mugshot.

“What about the other guy? The mob boss?” Roy asked.

“No idea. I’m just trying to stay out of it as much as I can,” Dick said, shoveling a huge spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“What about the extra money? What are you going to do?”

Dick thought about the question while he chewed on his cereal. Was he kidding himself by continuing to hope that he still had a shot at getting Alfred’s job? Stephanie had warned him that his photo had migrated from Reddit to Twitter. On one account, the photo of him had been retweeted _thirty two thousand times_.

Not for the first time, he recalled Slade’s job offer.

“I think I might have other options,” Dick said.

“Oh yeah?” Roy said.

Dick nodded and, rather than elaborating, kept eating his cereal. He hated it when the milk made the cereal too soggy. Also for some reason he didn’t really want to talk about Slade with anyone. He didn’t want to dwell on why.

He was putting the bowl into the sink when he said, “Money might get...a little tight for the next few weeks though.”

“We got you man,” Roy said. “We’ve all had rough patches before.”

This was true. Dick couldn’t remember the last time all of his roommates had been employed full time at the same time. He wasn’t used to the unemployed one being him, though. He could usually charm his way into any job whenever he needed one. Maybe he could start teaching pole dancing classes at the gym again.

Shaking his head, Dick turned his attention back to Roy and the baby. Roy looked a little bit more rested than usual, his hair not quite as stringy.

“Have you heard from Jade?” Dick asked him.

Roy made a face and shook his head, not meeting Dick’s gaze. He focused on Lian instead, on wiping the formula off her face. She was a messy eater.

Dick kept staring at Roy, happy to turn his mind to someone else’s issues for a few minutes instead of continuing to worry about his own.

He thought again about what Jason had said about how Roy never called him. Not calling wasn’t really Roy’s style. One night stands weren’t really Roy’s style either. He fell hard, and easily, and fast. Unless Jason had done something reprehensible, Dick couldn’t think of a reason why Roy would blow him off.

“Hey Roy,” Dick said.

Roy looked up and said, “Yeah?”

“Remember my coworker? The one with the white streak in his hair?”

“You mean Jason?” Roy asked.

“You remember him?” Dick asked, cocking his head.

Roy nodded and said, “It’s hard to forget that hair.”

This was true.

“He told me that the two of you hooked up once.”

Roy nodded again and said, “We did.”

“And?” Dick prompted.

“And that was it. I asked for his number, but I guess he wasn’t into anything serious.”

Dick frowned and asked, “So he didn’t give you his number?”

“He gave me _a_ number. To an Indian restaurant up in the Bowery. I called and they picked up, so I figured he wasn’t into me for anything serious,” Roy said.

“I see.”

“Why? Did he mention me?” Roy asked.

Dick considered the question carefully before he answered.

“He mentioned that he recognized you.”

Roy shrugged, frowning, and bundled Lian tighter in his arms. He got up, saying, “Well, at least I was memorable.”

Roy took the baby back to his room.

* * *

It was cloudy outside that morning—way too cloudy and dark for sunglasses—so Dick put on a hooded jacket and beanie instead, pulling the hat down low so that it covered his eyebrows.

If anybody recognized him, though, they did a good job of keeping it to themselves. He made it all the way to WE without getting any weird looks from anybody. There was one girl who smiled at him on the subway, but he had a feeling she was just being flirtatious. Everyone else ignored him and stared blankly out the windows or at their phones. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

As his coworkers started arriving for the day, Dick was relieved to find that they all seemed to have decided to go back to normal, yesterday notwithstanding. Stephanie and Cass were chatting about the waitress who served them their breakfast at a café that morning and Harper and Duke were complaining about the commute to WE. Tim and Barbara were working on some kind of network issue and Jason had been sent over to HR to help with a backlog of paperwork. None of them gave Dick any weird looks or asked stilted questions either. He appreciated it.

Dick braced himself as he signed on his computer and opened up his email, certain he would find an email from Mr. Wayne saying something along the lines of, _We need to talk_. But there was nothing, just his usual never-ending influx of work-related emails from PR and Alfred.

For the first couple of hours of the day he anxiously waited for the shoe to drop—for Mr. Wayne or Alfred to come fetch him—but no one did. Finally he decided that all of this worrying was pointless. All he could do was get on with his day and work hard.

He went to the break room to get some coffee sometime around 10:30 and happened to walk in on a number of his fellow interns loitering. Cass, Jason, Duke, and Stephanie were there. The huge flat screen TV behind them was playing the local news station, but nobody was paying attention to it. Stephanie was telling Cass about an argument she’d had with her German professor and Duke and Jason were bickering.

“—I don’t get it, man. If somebody offered me a free ride on a silver platter I’d take it,” Jason said.

“I don’t need his money. I get scholarships and my mom helps me pay for my classes,” Duke said. “Besides, it isn’t so much about the money as it is the way he tries to control my career—”

“He has a point, though. Your poetry is good shit. You could get published easily—”

Duke interrupted him with a sigh and said, “It’s not just about the money, Jason. He wants me to go to his school, through the same program he went through.”

Jason snorted and said, “So?”

“The school is in North Carolina! I’m not moving to North Carolina!”

Unable to hold back his curiosity anymore, Dick said, “I’m sorry, what’s happening?”

Duke looked up sharply at him with wide eyes, like he hadn’t realized Dick was there.

“I’m trying to talk Duke into taking his dad’s deal,” Jason said.

Dick cocked his head and asked, “Why?”

“Because his poetry is good.”

“You read his poetry?” Dick asked.

Jason gestured at Duke and said, “He posts it on the internet. If it’s on the internet I’m allowed to read it, otherwise don’t put it out there.”

Dick frowned at Jason. “What happened to ‘Duke likes me because I mind my own business’?”

“That was before I found out his dad is Gabriel Moore,” Jason said, then turned back to Duke and added, “Who cares if he’s a dick? Ride his coattails all the way to Random House.”

Duke rolled his eyes.

“Novelists don’t even make that much, and poets make even less. I’ll be better off in the long run studying business,” Duke said.

It was Jason’s turn to roll his eyes.

Behind him there were footsteps. Dick looked over his shoulder and saw Tim enter the break room, coffee cup in hand. He made a beeline for the coffee maker and didn’t even seem to notice the rest of them.

Dick turned back to Jason and Duke and said, “It sounds like Duke’s made up his mind.”

Jason shot Dick an annoyed look. The expression swiftly shifted into an evil grin, however, and he turned back to Duke again.

“I really liked one of the poems in particular,” Jason told Duke. “Number 332. What was it called? _Invasive_?”

Duke narrowed his eyes at Jason.

“Kinda read like a love poem, you know? Wanting someone you shouldn’t want. Who inspired it?” Jason asked.

Tim wandered over to them with his fresh cup of coffee, and Duke’s eyes shifted between Jason, Dick, and Tim before finally settling back on Jason again.

“No one. It’s just a poem,” Duke said.

“Really? Some of it was so specific. I could’ve sworn you were writing about one person in particular,” Jason said.

Duke opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly there was a loud screech. They all looked over and saw Cass getting up from the table where she’d been sitting with Stephanie.

“Cass?” Stephanie said, turning to watch her go with worried eyes.

Cass didn’t answer and walked out of the break room without acknowledging any of them.

When she was gone, Duke turned back to Stephanie and said, “What happened?”

“I don’t know. One minute we were talking and then the next she just got up and walked away,” Stephanie said.

“Did you say something that upset her?” Dick asked.

“No! We were talking about this concert she’s thinking about going to,” Stephanie said.

Then Stephanie got up from the table too and said, “I better go find out what’s wrong.”

She walked out of the break room as well.

“I should probably get back to work,” Duke said, and he too got up and left the break room.

Jason snorted but didn’t protest.

For lack of better things to do, Dick got his coffee and followed the others back to the interns’ corner.

* * *

Stephanie did not find out what was wrong with Cass because she left the office not long after storming out of the break room. Stephanie fretted about it for most of the afternoon and while they were all getting up to leave for the day.

“Maybe I did say something that pissed her off?” Stephanie told Harper as she pulled her jacket on. “I mean, I said that I wasn’t really a huge fan of metal, but I’m willing to go see Mastodon with her if she really wants somebody to go to the concert with her. She watched Stranger Things with me and I know that’s not really her kind of show.”

“Maybe it wasn’t anything you did,” Harper said, tucking her phone into her back pocket.

“But she’s not responding to my texts,” Stephanie said.

“Maybe she got sick?”

“I could buy the tickets for her. That way she knows I really want to go with her.”

Dick pulled the beanie over his head and double checked to make sure that he had his keys, wallet, and phone. He didn’t want to get all the way home without something again.

“She’ll probably be back tomorrow. You should just wait and see if she’s ok,” Harper said. “Aren’t those tickets kind of expensive?”

“I mean, they’re not _that_ bad…”

Dick missed whatever was said next because he was heading down the hall to the elevator.

He was looking at his phone as he crossed the plaza in front of WE, so he almost didn’t spot Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Wayne was standing at the curb with his hands on his hips. Alfred wasn’t with him, and Dick didn’t see any sign of his car. He hadn’t run into Mr. Wayne all day, something he had been grateful for, and almost kept walking.

But curiosity won out—that, and a pigheaded refusal to avoid an awkward conversation if there was one to be had—so he walked over to where his boss was standing.

“Mr. Wayne?” Dick said.

Mr. Wayne turned and looked at him.

“Oh, Dick. How are you?”

“Fine,” Dick said. “How are you?”

“Good. Great,” Mr. Wayne said, but he looked up and down the street again and sounded distracted.

“What are you doing?” Dick asked him.

For a moment Mr. Wayne didn’t answer. He pursed his lips.

Dick waited.

Finally, Mr. Wayne turned to him and said, “I seem to have misplaced my phone. And my wallet.”

“Oh,” Dick said.

“And my car keys. I’m not sure where Alfred is.”

Dick nodded and said,“Uh, do you need some help? Do you want me to help you look for your stuff?”

“Oh no, I know where my stuff is. It’s just...not with me at the moment.”

Dick nodded again, still confused.

“Are you trying to get somewhere? I could get you an Uber maybe?”

Mr. Wayne looked at him and said, “Could you? I would repay you, of course.”

He sounded as serious as if he was asking Dick for a kidney, not a ride.

“Sure. It’ll just be a while. And you’ll need to tell me where you’re going,” Dick said.

“Of course.”

They coordinated ordering the car so Bruce could get where he needed to go, and then Dick waited with him until the car showed up, since Bruce didn't have his phone with him.

For a while the conversation stayed on neutral topics—Damian, Alfred’s approaching last day, the PR department. Dick almost wondered if Mr. Wayne was oblivious to what had happened at The Court.

Then Mr. Wayne turned to him and said, “I heard that Lincoln March was arrested last night.”

Dick swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

“How aware were you of your other employer’s activities?” he asked.

Dick thought about what he could say and decided to be honest.

“There were times when he hinted about certain things I could do with members, but I never did anything illegal. I didn’t know about his connection to Roman Sionis. If he’d asked me to do anything like that I would’ve left,” Dick told him.

Mr. Wayne stared out at the busy street, his expression inscrutable.

“I will be ordering a mandatory company-wide drug test for all employees,” Mr. Wayne said at last. “If there is an investigation, I hope you will be cooperative.”

He looked at Dick, and Dick nodded, saying, “Of course.”

Miraculously, the car pulled up at that very moment. Mr. Wayne stepped off the curb and went to the door, pulling it open as he said, “Thank you for the ride, Dick.”

“No problem,” Dick said.

Mr. Wayne climbed into the car and Dick watched it drive away. Then Dick turned and headed for the subway alone, pulling the brim of his hat low over his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rainicorn2015 beta read this chapter (and the other chapters). 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep down, part of him couldn’t help but feel flattered by all of the attention, but the smarter part of him knew that this was all Very Bad.

It was cloudy again on Wednesday morning, so for the second day in a row Dick dressed in a hooded jacket and beanie before he left for work.

People were starting to figure out who he was, and it was a problem. At 2 in the morning Wally sent him a screenshot of PornHub’s twitter account. They’d retweeted the picture of him to say that they were getting a lot of requests for lookalikes of him. It was more than a little bit overwhelming.

Deep down, part of him couldn’t help but feel flattered by all of the attention, but the smarter part of him knew that this was all Very Bad.

Sure enough, he was on the train that morning when he looked over and happened to catch an Asian guy about his age staring at him, head cocked incrementally to the side. Dick looked away and stared down at the floor. He didn’t look up again until the train reached his stop.

He didn’t relax even a little bit until he was safe inside the walls of WE. But when he said hello to Rachel at the front desk, she said, “Oh! Hey!” and stared at him with bug eyes like he’d shocked her.

Fortunately, the rest of the interns were still pretending that nothing was going on. Tim, Harper, and Duke were arguing about a video game and Barbara was already answering phone calls. Stephanie and Cass hadn’t showed up yet.

“Did you get the email from HR?” Jason asked Dick as he sat down.

“No, because I haven’t had a chance to look at my email yet, Jason,” Dick said, doing nothing to disguise the irritation in his voice.

“You’re pissy this morning,” Jason commented, then shook his head and said, “The HR director sent out an email saying that everybody is going to be required to submit to a drug test.”

Dick’s insides turned to lead. He didn’t say anything, but Jason’s eyes widened, putting two and two together.

“Oh. This is because of you,” Jason said.

Dick had never tried drugs himself, but he didn’t judge either. Roy was a former addict, and Roy was one of the best people he knew. There was no way others at WE wouldn’t put two and two together and find a way to blame Dick for anything bad that happened to them as a result of this drug test.

“Thanks for pointing it out so succinctly,” Dick told Jason. “I didn’t realize that I am the one who is responsible for the fact that a bunch of people are going to lose their jobs, but I know it now.”

“People aren’t losing their jobs,” Duke said, suddenly turning to Dick.

“What?”

“The email says that people can come forward. The company will help them rehabilitate. They won’t be penalized for having an addiction,” Duke said.

Dick felt some of the tension fade out of him.

“Oh,” he said.

Duke shrugged at him and went back to his conversation with Harper and Tim.

At that moment Stephanie walked in. She was five minutes late and she immediately looked over at Cass’s chair. Finding it empty, she deflated a bit.

“Where’s Cass?” she asked, looking around at all of them.

Tim shrugged and Jason shrugged. Harper said, “I haven’t seen her this morning.”

Stephanie went around Cass’s desk, staring at it as if Cass might magically appear. Then she sank down into her own desk chair, looking as crestfallen as a kid who’d dropped her ice cream.

“You haven’t heard from her?” Harper asked.

Stephanie shook her head.

Nobody got a chance to ask her anything else because Alfred walked in holding his tablet. The elderly Englishman looked as ready to work as if he wasn’t a day away from retirement.

“Good morning, interns,” Alfred said.

There was a chorus of greetings from all of them.

“I have several tasks for you all today,” Alfred said, lifting up his tablet and getting right to business. “First, Harper, Mr. Fox has requested your assistance today down in R&D. They are testing a new prototype today and he thought you might want to be there to observe.”

Harper’s eyes lit up and she nodded, saying, “Of course.”

“Wonderful. He is expecting you at 8:30. I also have something of a delicate matter which will require two or three of you to handle,” Alfred went on.

Having learned his lesson from one of the last times, Dick raised his hand first. Duke and Jason raised theirs quickly after him.

“Thank you, Dick, but I am afraid our consultant Mr. Wilson has requested your assistance down in PR today. Jason and Duke should be able to handle this other matter,” Alfred said.

Dick’s irritation returned with a vengeance.

“When does Mr. Wilson want me?” Dick asked.

“He said to tell you to come down as soon as you are able,” Alfred said.

He did not roll his eyes, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Right,” Dick said. “Well, I guess I’ll head down there as soon as I’m done checking my email.”

“Very good,” Alfred said, and turned to Duke and Jason to tell them how they’d be spending the day.

Dick opened his browser and started going through his messages, wondering how long he could drag the task out before Slade got impatient.

* * *

Dick did, eventually, make it down to PR. Alice led him to their small conference room tucked around in the back of their department, Dick saw Slade through the window. His laptop was sitting on the table in front of him and he was surrounded by piles of manila files and spreadsheets.

Dick thanked Alice and walked into the conference room, letting the door shut behind him. He crossed his arms as he stared down at Slade.

“Took you long enough,” was all Slade said, barely glancing up at him.

“The last time you summoned me somewhere you just wanted to waste my time, so forgive me if I don’t run every time you snap your fingers,” Dick said.

“I see you’re in a mood today. I suppose this has to do with Twitter’s most viral picture of the day?”

Dick really, _really_ did not want to talk about that.

“What do you want?” he asked.

Slade jerked his head at the chair to his left and said, “Take a seat, Grayson.”

Dick went around the table and sat down.

“Here,” Slade said.

He picked up the laptop, pushing a stack of spreadsheets out of the way so that he could set it down on the table in front of Dick. There was a grainy color video up on the screen. It looked like one of the WE hallways, but the sky outside the windows was pitch black. The walkway was empty.

“I need you to watch this footage,” Slade said.

“For what?” Dick said.

“Something unusual,” Slade said.

Dick sighed and hit play, crossing his arms over his chest as he glowered down at the screen. He knew he was acting like a sullen baby, but he didn’t have the energy or the patience to play games with Slade all morning.

On the screen, Dick watched as members of the night cleaning crew made their way up and down the hall, emptying trash and mopping floors. The video he was watching ended and Dick didn’t notice anything unusual, so Slade told him to continue on to the next night and keep watching.

After a while, Dick’s mind started to drift. It was kind of nice to sit in silence, concentrating on the video that had nothing to do with him. At least he wasn’t anxiously looking at his phone every ten seconds, and Slade was ignoring him, busy making notes as he went through spreadsheets.

A couple of hours passed this way. Slade still didn’t engage him in conversation, or even seem to notice that Dick was there. It was frustrating that the man was so hard to read.

Belatedly, it occurred to Dick that maybe Slade wasn’t interested in hiring him anymore now that he was kind of the focus of a huge scandal at The Court, and the thought made him feel sick with anxiety. If he didn’t get Alfred’s job, he _needed_ Slade’s offer. All of this turmoil was making him want to crawl out of his own skin. He hated feeling like everything was so out of his control.

Finally, after hours of silence, Slade asked, “Have you thought about our conversation?”

Dick paused the video and looked up at Slade.

“Yes,” he said.

Slade was jotting down notes on a legal pad. He didn’t look up from what he was writing when he said, “And?”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“I won’t wait around for an answer forever,” Slade said.

Dick relaxed somewhat, relieved that there still was an offer—even if it wasn’t quite the one he wanted.

“I can have an answer to you by Monday evening,” Dick told him.

Slade didn’t say anything, so Dick assumed this would suffice. Slade just kept working, and something was needling at Dick, something that didn’t make sense. Slade didn’t even seem like he was interested in him. He’d been nothing but dismissive.

“I don’t get it,” Dick said, before he thought better of it.

Slade finally looked up at him and met his gaze.

“What is it that you don’t understand?” Slade asked.

“All you know about me is that I can answer phones and take my clothes off. I’m hardly what you would call an ideal employee. Why do you want me?”

How close they were, in this out of the way conference room. Dick breathed in the scent of Slade’s aftershave—something sharp like citrus—and stared into Slade’s pale blue eye. He  suddenly had the terrible urge to kiss him.

It would be a bad idea. The view inside their conference room was blocked by cubicle walls, but someone could walk around the corner at any moment. Dick was already a walking PR nightmare. If he got caught kissing a consultant he’d be fired for sure, and he wasn’t even positive Slade really liked him.

“Maybe I’ve decided to get into the strip club business,” Slade said finally.

Dick smiled, an echo of the alluring smile he’d given Slade the night he showed up at The Court. He said, “I don’t believe you.”

Slade snorted and turned back to his notes.

“Do you flirt this much with everyone? Get back to that footage, Grayson, or I will rescind my job offer.”

Dick smirked and looked back at the screen, hitting play to continue watching the video. Dick could feel something shifting. All this time, he’d been intimidated by Slade, confused by his attention. Now he had something. He still wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he felt more like he was on an even footing with Slade than he was before.

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time Slade finally let him go and he made it back up to the executive level. He could hear an argument happening as he made his way toward the interns’ corner.

“—unbelievable betrayal of her trust.”

“It’s all over the news, Steph. We were going to find out eventually,” someone said—it sounded like Tim.

“You deliberately dug into her business!” Stephanie said.

“Oh like you weren’t all up in Dick’s business the other day—”

“That’s different! We were trying to figure out how to help Dick!”

“Who says I’m not trying to help Cass?”

Dick walked around the corner and the argument immediately stopped. Tim and Stephanie were facing each other in the middle of their workspace and Harper was watching them with wide eyes. Barbara, Jason, and Duke weren’t there.

“Everything ok?” Dick asked, looking between Stephanie and Tim. “You two were yelling pretty loud.”

“No, everything is not ok,” Stephanie said hotly, crossing her arms over her chest. “Timothy needs to learn how to mind his own business.”

Tim rolled his eyes.

Stephanie watched him do this and her back got—somehow—even more rigid.

“How would you like it if people dug around in your personal life?” she asked Tim.

Tim shrugged and said, “I don’t have anything to hide.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Tim cocked his head. “Yes?”

Without another word, Stephanie went to her desk and pulled her purse off the back of her desk.

“Where are you going?” Harper asked her.

“To see Cass,” Stephanie snarled, and then she was gone.

Tim watched her go, shaking his head.

“What’s going on? Why are we digging into Cass’s business and why is it important?” Dick asked.

Tim looked over at Harper, who shrugged. Then Tim turned back to Dick and said, “Cass’s dad is David Cain.”

Dick cocked his head and said, “Who?”

“David Cain? That CEO who was arrested for violation of child labor laws six years ago?” Tim said.

Tim must’ve been able to tell from the blank look on Dick’s face that Dick had no idea who he was talking about, because he used two fingers to beckon Dick over and said, “Here. I’ll show you.”

Dick came over to Tim’s computer and looked down at the screen. There was a news article up, and the headline said, _Disgraced CEO David Cain wins appeal, released from prison._

Sure enough, there was an old photo from what had to have been Cain’s trial six years ago. A much younger Cass was standing next to him on the steps of a courthouse.

“Jesus,” Dick said. “Does everybody except me have a parent who has been to prison?”

“Nope. Barbara’s dad is police commissioner,” Harper said.

“Some scummy lawyer got Cain an appeal. He won and got released yesterday,” Tim said.

“And you figured this out how?” Dick said, looking curiously up at Tim.

“The story about it was playing on the TV in the break room when everyone was in there yesterday. I noticed the headline about David Cain just before Cass got up,” Tim said.

Apparently Dick was not at all observant enough.

“And now Stephanie is pissed because she thinks we’re all butting into Cass’s business,” Dick said. “I see.”

“From what I’ve read, Cass didn’t know what her dad was up to. She spent most of her childhood at some ballet academy in Hong Kong. I wasn’t trying to accuse Cass of anything.”

“Jesus, no wonder Cass was so upset,” Dick said.

“Maybe Stephanie will be able to...I don’t know. Make her feel better?” Harper said.

“I hope so,” Dick said, turning back to look down at Tim’s screen.

That’s when he saw it: The Gotham Times’ second most popular headline. _Who is The Court of Owl’s viral mystery dancer?_

All of Dick’s own problems came rushing back.

“Right,” he said, and turned away from Tim. “I had better get back to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rainicorn2015 and NobodyisHome are my beta readers.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dick woke up early on Thursday morning, he was pleased to look out his window and find that the sky was cloudless at last. Maybe it was a good omen for how his interview would go.

When Dick woke up early on Thursday morning, he was pleased to look out his window and find that the sky was cloudless at last. Maybe it was a good omen for how his interview would go.

Dick dressed in a suit and the blue shirt that matched his eyes, and slid his shades on before he left the apartment. Fortunately, no one recognized him on the way to WE this time and he ended up arriving early. As usual, Tim was already there, and as usual he looked as rumpled as if he’d slept under his desk.

The others started arriving within minutes. Duke was first, then Harper, then Jason, and then—at 8 a.m. sharp—Barbara. Only Stephanie and Cass’s chairs remained empty.

“Where’s Cass and Steph?” Harper asked the rest of them as she put her stuff up. 

Dick shrugged.

“No idea,” Duke said.

Harper frowned at their desks before turning back to her own computer and getting to work.

Stephanie and Cass still hadn’t shown up when Alfred walked around the corner around 8:15. Before he could give his normal morning greeting, he was met with a chorus of good mornings and well wishes for his last day. Alfred, however, was obviously just as ready to get to work as if it wasn’t his last day at WE. 

“I hope you all had a large cup of coffee this morning because there is much to do,” he told them.

Alfred looked to the back of the room, and, noticing Stephanie and Cass’s empty chairs, asked, “Where are Stephanie and Cassandra?” 

They all shook their heads or shrugged.

“You mean Cass didn’t call in again?” Harper asked.

“I have not heard from either of them,” Alfred said, and shook his head. “Well, as I said, there is much to do today. Barbara, Virginia would like to see you sometime today in her office, preferably before 10. Timothy, the IT department has requested your assistance with a data breach matter. Duke and Jason, I would be so obliged if you two could continue with yesterday’s task. I believe there is still quite a bit left to sift through, is there not?”

Jason and Duke exchanged weary looks.

“I know it’s a bother, but we can’t spare anyone else—” 

Suddenly there was the sound of footsteps, and two individuals came around the corner, both moving fast.

It was Stephanie and Cass. When they saw Alfred, they jerked to a stop and stared, wide-eyed, at his back. 

Alfred turned and examined them both.

Dick noticed a couple of things right away. The first thing was that Cass and Stephanie both had wet hair. The second thing was that Stephanie was wearing the same outfit she’d worn to work yesterday. The last thing was that Cass’s face was flushed and her shirt and skirt were wrinkled. It was uncharacteristic of Cass to look at all disheveled.

“Ladies,” Alfred said, cocking an eyebrow.

There was a very pregnant pause, and finally Steph said, “Hey Alfred.”

Alfred stepped out of the way and said, “Take a seat, if you don’t mind.”

The awkward silence dragged on as they sat down. Dick tried not to stare, but Jason and Duke weren’t as polite.

Finally, Alfred said, “Dick.”

Dick’s head snapped back in Alfred’s direction and he said, “Yes?”

“If you would be so kind, please assist Duke and Jason today. Harper, you had probably better go with them as well. They will get you up to speed on what needs to be done.”

Harper said, “Sure!” in a cheerful voice, but Dick frowned, surprised by a feeling of disappointment.

“Slade doesn’t need my help today?” Dick asked Alfred.

Alfred shook his head and said, “Mr. Wilson will not be visiting Wayne Enterprises again until next week.”

“Oh. Well, then yeah, sure, I’d love to help,” Dick said, shrugging. He knew he didn’t sound at all sincere.

Alfred either didn’t notice or was too polite to point out his obvious lack of enthusiasm, because he just smiled at Dick and said, “Thank you.”

Alfred turned to Stephanie and Cass next and said, “Can you two handle answering the phones in the office this morning?”

Cass and Steph nodded, but neither of them said a word.

“Wonderful. I shall keep you updated throughout the day as I find more for you to do,” Alfred said, and then he turned and left the interns’ corner.

When he was gone, Dick turned to Duke.

“So what is it that we’re doing exactly?” Dick asked him.

Duke made a face and said, “I hope you like dust.”

Dick cocked his head, confused.

“We’re having to clean out this office,” Jason said, inviting himself to the conversation. “Julian Day, that manager who worked down in billing?” 

“Who?” Dick said.

“Jesus, man, read your emails more often. Julian Day was a supervisor down in the billing department. He died unexpectedly of a heart attack on Valentine’s Day,” Jason told him.

“Ok, and?” Dick said.

“And apparently he was a real asshole and he was estranged from his family members, so none of them felt like coming to clean up all his crap. Understandable, because the dude was kind of a packrat. So Alfred sent Duke and I to clean up his office.”

Dick tipped his head back and groaned. The last thing he needed was to spend all day cleaning, getting dust and who knew what else all over his clothes.

But Alfred hadn’t really given him a way out of it, so Dick sighed and said, “Alright, fine. Let’s go. But my interview is at 10, so I’m leaving at 9:45 to get cleaned up.”

* * *

“Packrat” was a polite way of describing the late Julian Day. The man’s office was so packed with stuff that it was almost impossible for all four of them to fit inside the room together. It was kind of overwhelming.

“My god,” Dick said, looking up at a tall stack of boxes. “What is all of this crap?”

“We haven’t made it to that pile yet. We were still working on the file cabinets when the work day ended yesterday,” Jason said, hands in his pockets.

Harper was staring at the little that could be seen of Mr. Day’s walls around the piles of stuff.

“Why does he have so many calendars?” she asked. “And what’s with all of the...holiday decor?”

Duke looked up at the dust-coated Christmas garland on top of one of the bookshelves and shrugged. “No idea. I guess he liked to be festive.”

“Most of these calendars are like, twenty years old,” Harper said, approaching the nearest one. It was an M.C. Escher calendar from 2003.

“You think that’s bad,” Duke told her, and squeezed around Jason so that he could get to the desk. He pulled open a drawer and Harper and Dick leaned over the crowded desktop so they could see what was inside.

The drawer was filled to the brim with candy. Most of the wrappers had Easter, Halloween, and Christmas designs.

“Half of this candy isn’t even around anymore,” Duke said, and picked up two square pink, white, and brown candies that appeared to be stuck together.

“Don’t touch the candy drawer, man,” Jason said. “We agreed that we were going to recommend the whole thing get pitched into a sinkhole.”

“Smart,” Dick said, nodding.

Duke dropped the candies back into the drawer and pushed it shut with his foot.

“So…” Harper said warily, eyeing a tacky Mardi Gras wreath. “What should we focus on first?”

Jason jerked his head at some file cabinets under the window.

“Mr. Wayne wants us to go through them to make sure that Day wasn’t holding onto any files that need to be redirected to Ms. Kyle.”

Harper sighed and said, “Well, let’s get to it, I guess.”

There were five file cabinets crammed into the office. Jason and Duke claimed the ones they’d already started going through the day before, and Dick and Harper chose two of the others.

For a while, no one chatted or said anything as they dug through the file cabinets. There was a lot of paperwork to sift through—most of it didn’t seem to have anything to do with WE at all—and it required some, if not most, of their attention.

Naturally, Jason was the one who broke the silence.

“So. Cassandra and Stephanie,” he said, not looking up from the heavy file he was flipping through.

Dick looked up from his drawer and exchanged a look with Harper, but neither of them said anything.

“That was the most obvious walk of shame I’ve ever seen,” Jason said.

“I don’t think it’s really any of our business,” Dick told him.

Jason rolled his eyes.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t participate in the workplace gossip, Dickery.”

“You don’t think they’re like... _together_ together, right?” Harper asked.

Dick was disappointed in Harper for taking Jason’s bait.

Jason snorted and said, “I absolutely think they hooked up last night. Did you see how much Cass was blushing?”

“And Stephanie was wearing the same clothes that she wore yesterday,” Duke said, joining in.

“And the wet hair. If you ask me, they woke up late and had to rush to get here, hence why they were late,” Jason said.

Dick sighed.

Everybody was quiet for a couple of minutes after that, but then Harper cleared her throat and said, “So like, if Stephanie and Cass _are_ together, there’s like, an unusual number of us who are not straight working in the same department.”

Jason raised his eyebrows and said, “You’re right.” He pointed at himself and said, “Pan.” Then at Dick and said, “Bi,” and at Harper. “Lesbian.”

“And then Cass and Stephanie have to be bi or something,” Harper went on.

“What about you, Thomas?” Jason asked, turning to Duke.

Duke looked up, startled, like a cornered deer.

“What?” he said.

“Which way do you swing? Both ways? No ways?” Jason asked, blunt as ever.

Duke looked turned back to his drawer, ducking his head down as if that would make them all not be able to see him.

“Well, I mean, I’ve always dated girls. The last relationship I was in was with a girl,” Duke said.

“So you’re straight, then?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrows. There was an odd gleam in his eyes that Dick didn’t like.

“Leave him alone, Jay. Duke, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

Duke glanced over at Dick and shrugged, quickly looking away again.

“I guess I don’t mind. I mean, I’ve only ever dated girls. It’s not like guys are repulsive though. I think when I was a kid I used to notice the guys who were good-looking, but I never hooked up with a guy or anything, so I just ignored it.”

“So you’re a little heteroflexible, maybe,” Jason said, shrugging. “That’s not a big deal.”

“God, then this means Barbara’s the only straight intern,” Harper said.

Dick happened to glance and Duke and saw him make a face.

“What?” Dick said.

Duke looked up at him, startled again.

“What?” Duke asked.

“What was that face you just made?” Dick asked, narrowing his eyes.

Harper and Jason stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at Duke too. Duke looked between the three of them, looking more hunted than before.

“Nothing.”

Dick crossed his arms over his chest and said, “No, not nothing. You made a face. I want to know why.”

Duke glanced at Julian Day’s open office door. There was no one lingering outside in the hall.

Duke looked back to them, and said, his voice lowered, “Well, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise me that you won’t repeat what I say.”

“Ok,” Jason said at the same time that Harper and Dick both said, “Promise.”

“So,” Duke said, seeming suddenly unable to look any of them in the eye, “a couple of weeks ago I was going to see this movie over in the Old Gotham district and I happened to...see Barbara there with someone. At first they were arguing, so I was going to stay out of her way. But then the lady leaned down and Barbara kissed her.”

Dick frowned and said, “Who was she? The woman Barbara was with?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t anybody I’d ever seen before. She had brown curly hair? Kind of Italian looking I guess? Really hot, honestly. I was kind of impressed.”

Dick felt like the floor was dropping out from under him. Barbara had never told him that she was attracted to women, and he’d always been blatantly honest with her about his sexuality.

“You’re sure it was Barbara?” Dick asked him.

Duke looked up at him at last and shrugged, saying, “You think I wouldn’t recognize the beautiful redhead in a wheelchair who I sit in an office with five days a week?”

“Fair enough,” Dick muttered.

“Jesus. Then that really is all of us,” Harper said.

Jason smirked and said, “Weird. We’re all gay and we all have tragic parental issues. It’s almost like Mr. Wayne has a type.”

His tone was suggestive enough that Dick, Duke, and Harper all groaned, picking up whatever was closest to them to throw it at Jason. Jason just cackled, unrepentant.

After that, they fell back into silence. Dick didn’t mind the quiet, because he couldn’t stop thinking about Barbara. Of course, just because they’d dated didn’t mean he deserved to hear everything about her personal life.

It was just surprising, was all.

* * *

Dick left Julian Day’s claustrophobic hoarder nightmare of an office around 9:45 so that he could run to the men’s restroom. In the mirror he looked himself over, checking to make sure there wasn’t any dust or stale candy sticking to him somewhere, and then he headed up to Mr. Wayne’s office.

He told Alfred while why he was there, and as Alfred paged Mr. Wayne to make sure he was ready for Dick, Dick realized that his hands were sweating. He wasn’t normally a nervous person, but everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks was starting to boil over. What if he walked into Mr. Wayne’s office only for Mr. Wayne to sit him down and explain that there was no possible way he could ever offer Dick the job?

It was a harrowing thought.

But then Alfred was waving to Dick and saying, “Come along,” and holding the door open for him so that he could go in.

Mr. Wayne was on the phone when Dick and Alfred walked in. He smiled at Dick and gestured at one of the leather chairs on the other side of his desk, but didn’t end the phone call.

Dick chose one of the chairs and sat down.

“Yes, of course I understand. No, I will have a talk with him about it when we’re at home. Tell Damian I’ll be there to pick him up in about an hour and a half,” Mr. Wayne said.

Alfred left, shutting the door behind him.

“Of course. Thank you,” Mr. Wayne said. “Goodbye.”

He set the phone down on a receiver a little too forcefully.

“Everything alright?” Dick asked.

“Oh, everything’s fine. Damian’s been sent to the headmaster’s office for protesting mandatory frog dissections in biology class or something. Just the regular Thursday morning behavior, I suppose.”

Dick couldn’t help but smile a little bit, remembering the horse story.

“He’s a spirited kid.”

“That he is,” Mr. Wayne said, nodding. “I blame his mother, personally. He gets his activist tendencies from her.”

Dick didn’t know much about Damian’s mother, aside from the fact that she didn’t live in the United States.

“He told me about the horse,” Dick said.

Mr. Wayne took a deep breath and said, “Yes. So we have a horse now. Fortunately, we had the barn already because of the cow, but I was still furious about how he handled it.”

“Cow?” Dick asked.

“Oh, yes, he also liberated a cow from a slaughter house. It’s a long story,” Mr. Wayne said, and then he proceeded to tell the whole thing.

They chatted about Damian for a while longer. Subtly, so subtly that Dick almost didn’t notice it, the conversation shifted from Damian’s menagerie of animals to Dick and WE. It was interesting, Dick thought, as Mr. Wayne maneuvered his way through the conversation, asking about things that sounded benign but put Dick in a position where he had to explain himself. It was kind of impressive, to be honest. Like an interview that almost didn’t feel like an interview.

Then the conversation shifted from Dick and his own work to the other interns.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed that Alfred works quite a bit with you and the other interns,” Mr. Wayne said. “Do you think you’d have trouble managing them if you suddenly found yourself in a position where you were sort of an authority figure?”

Dick considered the question for a moment, and shook his head, saying, “I don’t think so, no.” 

“Why do you think so?”

Dick thought about the question a little more. 

“They’re all professionals. I mean, Jason has outbursts sometimes, but deep down they’re all solid. In some ways they already listen to me.”

“Oh?”

“I’m the intern who has been here the longest. Naturally, they look to me for direction when they’re not sure what to do.”

Mr. Wayne made a thoughtful noise.

“Do you like them, Dick?” he asked.

Dick nodded without hesitation.

“I do. Every single one of them.”

“And who would you recommend for Alfred’s position, other than yourself?” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick had to think about this question a little harder than the ones that had come before it. The narcissist in him wanted to say that there was no one better for the job, but as he thought about all of his fellow interns, he simply found that he couldn’t hold himself up above them.

“All of them have different strengths, so it depends on what you’re looking for in your next right hand. I think Duke would be a solid choice. He’s smart, and he’s personable. He’d make anyone coming to your office feel welcomed and important. Cass is quiet, but she gets more done than anybody and never complains about it. She could handle the sheer amount of work that Alfred does the best of all of us. Tim is really great with all the techy stuff, and he gets here earlier than everybody else and leaves after everybody else too. Probably the most dedicated to company. Or at least to you. But really, all of them have their strengths. I could go on if you want me to.”

Mr. Wayne smiled a mysterious smile and said, “That won’t be necessary.” Dick couldn’t tell what was going through his mind.

The awkward moment dragged on a little longer. Eventually, Dick felt so antsy that something burst out of his mouth before he could think better of it.

“I wanted to thank you for deciding not to fire the employees who come forward about having addictions. I know that I have caused a lot of problems around here, and I just...I appreciate it a lot,” Dick told him.

Mr. Wayne cocked his head to the side and said, “You’re welcome, Dick. However, you should know that HR has been preparing for this for some time. Your situation at The Court coming to light simply gave them the impetus to move the timeline up a bit.”

“Oh,” Dick said. He felt as if at least a small weight had been taken off his shoulders. “Well, still. Thank you. And I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?” Mr. Wayne asked.

“Everything. I know it’s only a matter of time before somebody figures out who I am and that I work here. And I just...I’m sorry.”

Mr. Wayne gazed at him for another moment, his expression inscrutable.

“An apology is unnecessary, Dick. I don’t believe in punishing employees for mistakes that were made by their leaders. Especially ones that the employees were not privy to.”

_But I did know about some of it_ , Dick almost said. He hadn’t known about Roman Sionis and the drugs, but he’d known that Mr. March was a creep, that he was up to things he shouldn’t have been getting mixed up in. Dick knew he’d needed to leave The Court, and he didn’t. Now he desperately wished he had.

But he didn’t say any of this to Mr. Wayne.

“Well, then thank you, I guess,” Dick said instead. “That’s generous of you.”

Mr. Wayne shrugged.

“I think that’s all the questions I have for you today,” he said, and got up.

Dick got up too, and when Mr. Wayne held out his hand, Dick leaned over the desk to shake it.

“Thank you for the interview, Mr. Wayne,” he said.

“Thank you for coming in for it. You’ll hear back from me about the position on Monday,” Mr. Wayne said. “I’ll see you around, Dick.”

Dick thanked him again and left the office, too drained to even shoot Alfred a hopeful smile as he made his way back to the elevators.

* * *

As Dick headed back down to Julian Day’s office and the mess to be found there, the interview kept replaying in his head. He couldn’t figure out if it was a good or bad interview.

He could hear Jason, Duke, and Harper talking as he approached.

“You’ve got to stop stressing about it,” Jason was saying. “So you have a bit of a crush, it’s not a big deal.”

“Jason’s right,” Harper said.

Duke muttered something that Dick couldn’t hear, and Dick stopped in the hallway before he reached the door, listening.

“You think I didn’t freak out the first time I realized I was attracted to another guy?” Jason asked.

“This is—that’s not—” Duke sputtered.

“That’s not what?”

“I told you, I only liked girls before. And then I met him and then suddenly I feel this way, and I just—I don’t know what’s up with me,” Duke said.

“Do you still like girls?” Harper asked.

“Well, yeah, of course,” Duke said. “But I also like...you know. Him.”

“Relax, man. Having an inappropriate crush on Dick Grayson is kind of like an intern right of passage,” Jason said.

Dick straightened, feeling like he’d been slapped. Was Jason really saying—?

“Shut up, you’re just saying that,” Duke muttered.

“I’m dead serious. I’m pretty sure he’s even Harper’s if she had to pick a dude,” Jason said.

“Gross,” Harper said.

Jason laughed.

Dick _really_ shouldn’t be listening to this. Duke liked him? All this time he’d thought Duke hated his guts. Obviously he wasn’t as good at reading people as he’d thought.

“Just let it pass. Eventually you’ll figure out that he’s incredibly fucking annoying and there’s no good reason to have a crush on him.”

Duke snorted and said, “You’re so full of shit.”

“Jason is right. Not about Dick being annoying, but about the other part. Don’t freak out about it, it’s just a crush. Sexuality is fluid.”

Duke muttered something else that Dick couldn’t hear.

“Dick likes everybody. He might not have a crush on you or whatever, but he likes you.”

“It’s true,” Harper agreed.

“Anyway, you should be grateful. That poem you wrote about him was badass,” Jason said.

“Really?” Duke said.

Dick decided he’d heard enough. He tip-toed backwards away from Julian Day’s office and decided to head back upstairs to check on Cass and Stephanie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is gay, happy Pride!
> 
> Rainicorn2015 and NobodyisHome are my beta readers.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His usual commute to WE started innocuously enough. It was still a clear day, and cold, so there was nothing conspicuous about having his hood and sunglasses on. No one looked at him twice on the walk to the train station or on the ride to the Financial District.
> 
> Then he was walking across the pavilion in front of WE—there were plenty of people milling about, even at that time of the morning—and Dick almost made it to the doors when something bashed into his face.

Pole dancing was much more strenuous than it looked, and since Dick didn’t have his second job anymore he couldn’t count on getting the extra exercise. So on Friday he decided to get up and head to WE’s employee gym before his shift started.

His usual commute to WE started innocuously enough. It was still a clear day, and cold, so there was nothing conspicuous about having his hood and sunglasses on. No one looked at him twice on the walk to the train station or on the ride to the Financial District.

Then he was walking across the pavilion in front of WE—there were plenty of people milling about, even at that time of the morning—and Dick almost made it to the doors when something bashed into his face.

His sunglasses went flinging across the sidewalk and Dick shouted out in pain as he pressed a hand to his throbbing nose.

“Oh my god!” Someone said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

Dick managed to open one eye and used it to glare at the man in an apple green tracksuit who was apologizing to him. He was holding a string in his hand. Dick followed the string to its end and—was that a kite?

“Did you just hit me in the face with a kite?” Dick asked, immediately regretting speaking when his face ached with pain.

“Oh, dude, I’m so sorry. Is your nose broken?”

Dick brushed his fingers over his lips and when he checked, they were covered in blood.

“I don’t know, maybe!” Dick said.

That was when Dick looked across the pavilion and saw someone staring at him.

The person staring at him was a woman with lots of curly blonde hair, arms crossed tightly over her chest. She was very pretty. Ordinarily a pretty girl staring at him would not be a cause for concern, something about the shrewd way she was examining him gave him a chill.

His _sunglasses_.

Dick looked for them on the ground and saw that they’d snapped into two pieces. When he picked the pieces up, ignoring his bleeding face entirely, he saw that one of the lenses was broken as well.

“Shit,” Dick said.

Then the blonde woman uncrossed her arms and Dick saw that there was a press badge hanging from the red and blue lanyard around her neck.

“Fuck,” Dick said, and turned away from the still-apologizing man with the kite. The blonde woman was just starting to head Dick’s way as he made his way through WE’s sliding front doors.

Kory looked up when he walked in, already smiling, but the smile went away at once when she saw the state of his face.

“Dick!” she said, getting up. “What happened?”

“Don’t worry about it Kory—”

Just as he said the words, he heard the door sliding open behind him.

“Excuse me!” said a loud, cheerful voice. “Can I talk to you?”

Kory turned to the blonde woman and asked, “Who are you?”

Dick turned and saw that the blonde woman had followed him into WE.

“My name’s Kara Danvers, I’m a reporter over at _The Gotham Times_? I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment, sir.”

Dick recognized her name. Kara Danvers was Stephanie’s friend. Dick was still clutching his nose however, frozen dumb as Kara Danvers approached him.

Then Kory walked out from behind the desk and stepped between her and Dick. Kara jerked to a stop and looked up at Kory’s face.

Kory was by far one of the tallest people that Dick had ever met. Even with heels on, Kara didn’t come anywhere close to matching Kory’s height.

“I’m sorry, but do you have an appointment?” Kory asked her.

“Well, no,” Kara said. “I just wanted to speak with…”

She looked over at Dick and raised her eyebrows, as if expecting Dick to supply his name. He didn’t, and went to steal some tissues from Kory’s desk instead, pressing them over his bleeding face.

“I’m afraid you will have to make an appointment and come back later,” Kory said, smiling at Kara.

Kara pointed at Dick and said, “If I could just have—”

The doors slid open again, and two chatting people in workout clothes walked in. It was Stephanie and Cass.

They stopped when they saw Kory, Dick, and Kara.

“Kara?” Stephanie said, gazing at her friend inquisitively. Then Stephanie glanced over at Dick and said, “Oh my god! What happened?”

“I was hit in the face with a kite,” Dick said, and Cass and Stephanie frowned at him.

“Do you know this reporter?” Kory asked Stephanie, jerking her head at Kara.

Stephanie looked back at Kara and said, “Yeah. What are you—?”

Then Stephanie glanced back at Dick and put it together, her eyes widening.

“Oh no,” Stephanie said, and walked over to Kara, grabbing her arm. “This is not happening.”

Kara gestured at Dick and said, “But—!”

“No,” Stephanie repeated, and tried to pull Kara toward the door. She was not very successful, as Kara was apparently a lot stronger than her.

“You should go with your friend,” Kory said, in a tone that said, _And it would be a bad idea to argue with me_.

Kara stared up at all six feet plus of Kory and must have come to this realization. Shaking Stephanie off, she put her hands up in a gesture of surrender and said, “Ok. Fine. I’ll call WE and request an interview with Mr. Wayne.”

“Kara!” Stephanie said.

Kara raised her eyebrows at Stephanie and walked out the door without another word.

As soon as she was gone, Cass and Stephanie rushed over to Dick.

“Are you ok? What are you doing here so early?” Stephanie asked.

“I’m fine.”

He was not fine, but there was no point in complaining about it.

He glanced down at his jacket and t-shirt and saw that both were now spotted with dark stains blood. At least he’d packed his work clothes in his gym bag.

“I was going to work out a little this morning, but I guess I should go clean up and maybe go make sure my nose isn’t broken,” he said, then muttered, “Not that I can afford it or anything.”

“Go see my mom. She works for one of those nonprofit clinics and it’s not too far from here. I’ll text you the address,” Stephanie said. She pulled her phone out of her bag and immediately started tapping away.

“Thanks,” he said. Then he looked over at Kory and said, “You too.”

All three women smiled at him and departed, Kory to the front desk and Stephanie and Cass to the gym. Dick felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out to see the address.

First, the bathroom. He needed to clean up first before he headed back outside to potentially make a spectacle of himself. 

* * *

Dick was just making it back from the clinic—his nose wasn’t broken, thank god, although it was turning a hideous shade of purple—as Cass was heading back to the interns’ corner from somewhere. The rest of the interns were all sitting around their desks.

“Hey man,” Jason said as Dick and Cass came around the corner together. “Heard about your face. At least it’ll make you difficult to recognize for a while, right?”

Dick jerked his head at Stephanie’s desk as he set his gym bag down, saying, “Yeah, except Stephanie’s reporter friend saw me and knows who I am now.”

Duke and Tim both winced.

“Oh, really?” Jason said.

“She doesn’t know my name. So far. I think. But yeah, she definitely recognized me.”

“She has texted me like a billion times begging me to tell her your name. I didn't, obviously, but she will not shut up,” Stephanie said.

Dick turned around to thank her, but Stephanie was already turning to look up at Cass, smiling and asking, “Well, how did it go?”

Cass smiled and nodded and said, “Good. Very good.”

“Did you have your interview for Alfred’s position?” Jason asked Cass, and Cass looked over at him and nodded again.

“Oh, damn. I bet you’re the last one then. Harper and I had ours on Wednesday and Dick and Duke had theirs yesterday. When was yours, Stephanie?” Jason asked.

“Tuesday afternoon,” Stephanie said.

“What about you Tim?” Duke asked. “When was your interview?”

Tim looked up from his computer screen. Dick could feel all of the focus in the room suddenly narrowing in on Tim. 

But all Tim said was, “Interview for what?”

Duke shot him a perplexed look and said, “For Alfred’s job.”

Tim looked around at all of them, seemingly unconcerned to find them all staring at him, before turning back to Duke and saying, “I didn’t apply.”

Stephanie scoffed and Jason cocked an eyebrow, shooting Tim a doubtful look.

“What? Why not?” Duke asked, mystified.

Tim shrugged and said, “I wasn’t qualified for it.”

Dick was confused. Judging from the looks on the others faces, they were just as confused as him.

“Which part were you not qualified for exactly?” Jason asked.

“The education part,” Tim said.

“Did you look at the posting? You didn’t have to have a college degree, just a high school diploma or GED,” Stephanie said.

“I know. But I don’t have a high school diploma or a GED.”

This announcement was met with a full fifteen seconds of absolute silence. Even Barbara had finally looked up from what she was doing and was staring at the back of Tim’s head.

Jason, of course, was the one who finally broke the silence.

“You didn’t graduate from high school?” Jason asked.

“I dropped out,” Tim told him.

“ _You_?” Jason said. “ _You_ dropped out? Why?”

Tim shrugged and turned back to his computer, saying, “I don’t know. There didn’t really seem like there was much point in going to school after my parents died.”

This statement was met with another long pause of stunned silence. The expression on Stephanie’s face was stricken.

“Wait,” Duke said, and Dick turned to glance at him. Duke looked thoughtful. “If you don’t have a high school diploma then how do you have this job? Don’t you have to have one to be an intern too?"

“Technically I’m not an intern like the rest of you. I’m more like a prolonged contract temp employee.” Tim shrugged again. “I make a dollar less an hour and I’m not supposed to have as many duties. Mr. Wayne said I could get promoted to intern if I get my GED, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

Dick wanted to ask why not, but didn’t quite have the nerve to do it. Nobody else did either apparently.

“You’ve been making a whole dollar less an hour than the rest of us this whole time?” Duke asked.

Tim nodded.

“Doesn’t that...bother you?” Stephanie said.

“I inherited a decent amount of money from my parents and I have several roommates. Money’s not a huge concern.”

“Yeah, but you don’t want to be a contract temporary employee forever right?” Stephanie asked.

“I’ll get my GED,” Tim said airily, waving his hand as if it wasn’t important. “One day.”

After that, it was apparent that nobody else knew what to say. There was another awkward pause, and then they all went back to their own work.

So Tim wasn’t competition at all. Rather than feeling relieved about it, Dick just felt bad. All that stressing about whether or not Tim was Mr. Wayne’s favorite, and it turned out Tim couldn’t apply for the job even if he did want it.

With that depressing thought, Dick turned back to his computer and started sifting through his emails.

* * *

After a long day of digging through the mountains of crap in Julian Day’s office with Harper, Jason and Duke, it was finally time to trek to the hotel ballroom where Alfred’s retirement reception was taking place.

Unfortunately, word had definitely gotten out that the mystery stripper from the infamous Court of Owls was a WE employee. Kory had warned him that there were a few poorly disguised reporters hanging out in front of the building, and some number Dick didn’t recognize kept calling his phone over and over again.

“How the hell am I supposed to get out of here?” Dick asked the others as they were all preparing to leave.

“I’m sure there’s some kind of service exit you could sneak out through,” Harper said.

“Yeah, but I have nothing to cover my face with,” Dick said.

“What happened to your sunglasses?” Duke asked.

“The kite broke them when it hit my face.”

“You can wear mine,” Jason said, and fished around in the interior pocket of his jacket. Then he handed Dick a pair of very shiny aviators.

Dick took the sunglasses and examined them, saying, “Why does it not shock me that you have a pair of the world’s most douchey sunglasses.”

“If you’re going to disrespect them, give them back,” Jason snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No disrespect intended,” Dick said, and slid the sunglasses on.

“I know how you can get out,” said Cass behind him.

Dick turned to her and asked, “You do?”

Cass nodded.

And that was how he found himself being escorted out of WE through an underground tunnel by what had to be the world’s tiniest bodyguard and her blonde girlfriend.

Dick, Cass, and Stephanie exited the tunnel with a crowd of subway commuters. Out on the street they hailed a taxi, which took them the rest of the way to the hotel.

In the back seat of the taxi, Cass sat between Dick and Stephanie.

“This is fun,” Stephanie said, smiling. “It’s like you’re a celebrity and we’re your entourage trying to sneak you away from the paparazzi.”

Dick snorted.

“I’m glad somebody is having a good time.”

Stephanie snorted right back and said, “Like a little part of you isn’t _living_ right now.”

Dick didn’t say anything to that, and happened to glance down and see Cass and Stephanie’s hands clasped on top of Stephanie’s thigh.

“So,” Dick said, conversationally. He gestured between the two of them. “This is happening now?”

Stephanie and Cass looked down at their entwined hands, then shot Dick humorless looks. They didn’t deny it, though. Not that there was any point.

At long last, their taxi arrived at the hotel. Dick paid for the ride and quickly rushed in the doors.

Fortunately, invitations were required to get into the ballroom where Alfred’s reception was taking place, so Dick was able to relax a bit. He even took Jason’s shades off and slipped them into his shirt pocket.

Cass and Stephanie immediately got lost in the crowd clamoring to say goodbye to Alfred. Dick spotted Mr. Wayne chatting with Ms. Kyle over by the bar. Barbara was with some people from Records who Dick didn’t know. Jason and Duke were talking to Mr. Fox at a table. Tim, as usual, was hanging out at the back of the room staring at his phone.

Dick mingled for a while, saying hello to people he recognized and explaining, over and over again, about how he’d been hit in the face with a kite.

He was just about to go get some hors d'oeuvres when a tiny dark-haired individual in a pitch black suit appeared at his elbow.

“So,” Damian said. “You are an exotic dancer.”

Dick steeled himself and smiled down at Damian.

“You saw the picture, huh?” he said.

Damian cocked one thick dark eyebrow and said, “It is difficult to avoid.”

“I know.”

Damian examined his nose, but, thankfully, didn’t ask what had happened to it. Instead he crossed his arms and stood at Dick’s side, overlooking the crowd of WE employees like a mini version of his dad.

“I heard that you provided my father with some assistance last week,” Damian said.

For a beat, Dick couldn’t figure out what Damian was talking about. Then he remembered finding Mr. Wayne out in front of WE, stranded without his phone and keys.

“Oh, the ride?” Dick asked, and Damian nodded.

“Your assistance was greatly appreciated. Of course, the situation could have been avoided if my father was more selective about his romantic partners.”

With this, Damian cast a disapproving look over at his father and Ms. Kyle on the other side of the ballroom.

“What are you talking about?” Dick asked.

“She steals from him. Apparently it’s some sort of game that they have. Do not ask me to explain it, because I cannot.”

“Steals his keys?”

“His wallet. Sometimes his credit cards. Occasionally cars or items from the house. He does not admit it, but I’m not stupid. Why it doesn’t bother him, I will never understand,” Damian said loftily.

Dick stared, perplexed, over at his boss and Ms. Kyle.

“But as I said, your assistance was appreciated,” Damian said.

The kid wandered off without another word. Dick stared after him, stunned by this new information about his boss and Ms. Kyle. Maybe the kid was right, and she was stealing from WE. But Mr. Wayne seemed like the kind of guy who would be smart enough to figure that out.

This train of thought was interrupted when Dick spotted Alfred coming into the room with a tray of drinks. Dick didn’t hesitate to walk across the room and take the tray from him.

“Isn’t this supposed to be your party?” Dick asked him.

“The waitstaff has been ignoring the R&D department, which I find unforgivable.” Alfred nodded his head over at the table where Jason and Mr. Fox and Duke had been joined by some other brainy-looking types.

“Hmm,” Dick said, but spotted Harper mingling with some people from Engineering not far from him and whistled to get her attention. She flinched and looked back at him sharply, and he waved her over.

“What?” she said when she reached him and Alfred.

Dick handed her the tray and jerked his head across the room, saying, “Go take this over to Mr. Fox’s table.”

Harper looked over her shoulder at Mr. Fox’s table, thought for a moment, and then did as Dick asked.

When she was gone, Dick turned back to Alfred and made up his mind to prevent Alfred from working again. The guy was going to have to learn how to relax if he was going to stay retired.

And so they chatted about Alfred’s retirement plans for a while, and Dick listened to Alfred’s stories about working for Mr. Wayne over the years and the family members he intended to visit now that he wasn’t going to be working 70 hours a week.

Eventually the two of them were joined by others who wanted to talk to Alfred, and Dick was pushed to the edge of the crowd, more or less forgotten. Dick didn’t mind this, exactly, as the whole point had been to get Alfred side-tracked so he would stop trying to work at his own party, but for some reason Dick couldn’t relax. He felt antsy again, like he was bored and didn’t want to stand still. He’d never gotten his workout that morning, and his muscles felt tight, pent up.

Somehow he found himself gazing around the room at the other interns.

Harper, Jason, and Duke were laughing at something Mr. Fox was saying. Cass and Stephanie were talking to Ms. Kyle. Tim had finally been pulled into a conversation with some people Dick recognized from IT, and Barbara had joined them.

Out of nowhere, the thought hit Dick: he didn’t want anything to change. He wished Alfred wasn’t retiring, that nothing had happened at The Court—as much as he had hated it there. He wished that Alfred’s job and a potential promotion wasn’t threatening to change everything even more, to introduce bitterness into their ranks. He didn't want to lose the easy camaraderie he and the others had fostered over the past couple of weeks. 

But nobody could be an intern forever.

He was half-heartedly listening to a story about Winchester that Alfred was telling to some women from Finance when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket again. Dick pulled it out and looked at the screen, seeing that same unknown number that had been calling him all day.

He sent the call to voicemail.

When Dick looked back up, he happened to see someone he wasn’t expecting to see that night through a split in the crowd.

Slade was leaning up against the bar, a short glass of amber liquid and ice in his hand. He was wearing a black suit with a dark grey shirt, the top buttons undone like how he’d dressed at The Court that last fateful night. He wasn’t talking to anybody, but of course didn’t appear to be bothered by that fact.

Dick thought about it for about two seconds, and then he went over to him.

As soon as he reached Slade’s side, Dick asked, “What are you doing here?”

Slade took a sip from his glass, staring over at Dick over the rim. Dick tried to pay attention to Slade’s eye, and not the movement of Slade’s neck as he swallowed his drink.

“I was invited.”

“By who? Do you even know Alfred?” Dick asked.

“Mr. Wayne invited me. He’s a generous man.”

Dick watched Slade’s gaze rove over the bruised mess of Dick’s nose, but, like Damian, he didn’t ask what happened.

“What do you want, Grayson?” Slade asked instead.

“I just want to know what you’re up to,” Dick said.

“It sounds like you don’t trust me.”

“You were the one who told me that your business isn’t exactly always legal,” Dick said, shrugging.

Slade raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond to this. Instead he asked, “I don’t suppose you have an answer for me about the position? Or are you wasting my time because it amuses you?”

Dick opened his mouth to respond, but closed it when he felt his phone buzz again in his pocket.

He pulled it out and saw that the anonymous caller had finally left a voicemail.

Instead of listening to it, he pressed down on the power button, waiting until the device was off before he slid it back into his back pocket.

When he looked back up at Slade, he found that Slade was still watching him.

Dick examined Slade for a moment before he said anything.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Dick finally asked him.

Slade, if he was surprised by the proposition, didn’t give it away.

“I recall we already had a conversation about how I’m not attracted to you,” Slade said. 

“And I already said I think you’re lying. Which is why I’m here.” He gave Slade a slow once over, one that made his intentions unmistakable.

“Are you trying to use me as a way to run away from your problems?” Slade asked.

Dick cocked an eyebrow and said, “That depends. Do you mind being used?”

Slade stared at Dick for a moment longer, looking frustratingly unruffled by the whole situation.

Then, without a word, he drank the last of the contents of his cup and turned to set the glass on the bar.

He still didn’t say anything when he turned and walked through the crowd.

Dick followed him out of the hotel. In the parking garage, they got into Slade’s car and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you're wondering if the rating is going to change on this fic, it isn't. 
> 
> Me, jumping over the naughty bits: Parkour!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other interns were subdued that morning. Except for Stephanie and Cass, who kept whispering to each other over on their side of the room, nobody was really talking.

Dick ended up staying at Slade’s all weekend. He didn’t really want to go home anyway, but avoiding the apartment became imperative once Dick found out that the press had figured out where he lived. He had to bribe Wally into sneaking him some clothes and his toothbrush, but it was worth it.

Fortunately, Slade didn’t seem to mind that Dick was reluctant to go home. He had found plenty for the two of them to do in the bedroom. And the kitchen. And the living room.

When Slade’s alarm started going off at 5am on Monday morning, however, Dick knew his break from reality was finally coming to an end. No matter how much he was dreading it, he had to get dressed and go into WE to hear his fate. Slade showered first, and then he too at last dragged himself out of Slade’s ridiculous California king bed and quickly showered.

When he was dressed, Dick tracked Slade down in his kitchen. He leaned up against the doorway and watched as Slade poured himself a cup of coffee.

Slade wasn’t dressed yet. He was only wearing a pair of black boxer briefs, and Dick took advantage of his inattention, stealing the moment to admire Slade’s broad muscular back.

“Coffee?” Slade asked without turning, apparently not oblivious to Dick’s presence.

“Leave enough room for an appropriate amount of sugar this time,” Dick said, trying to remember which train station was closest to here. Slade’s apartment was on the other end of Gotham from WE. The commute was going to take forever.

Slade poured Dick a cup and Dick ignored the judgmental stare as he mixed sugar and milk to make the perfect “sugar with a dash of coffee” as Slade had called it yesterday. They stood in the kitchen, drinking silently.

For the first time all weekend, Dick wasn’t really sure what to say to him. “Thanks for a good time”? “See you around”?

“Are you coming to WE today?” Dick asked instead.

Slade finished the rest of his coffee and set his mug in the sink.

“No. My business with WE has concluded,” Slade said.

Dick raised his eyebrows and said, “It has?”

“I found what your boss wanted me to find, so I’m moving onto other contracts,” Slade said, shrugging.

Dick felt weirdly disappointed about this. Slade’s work with WE was done, so that meant he wouldn’t be seeing Slade around the building anymore.

Of course, there was still the possibility that Dick wasn’t going to get Alfred’s job, and would have to accept Slade’s offer.

As if he could tell what Dick was thinking about, Slade approached him and asked, “I’ll hear from you tonight?”

Dick nodded.

Slade moved without seeming to move, suddenly crowding Dick’s space. For a moment, Dick thought Slade was going to kiss him.

He didn’t. Slade went past him and left the kitchen instead. Dick was disappointed, but mostly relieved. Kissing Slade was distracting. If Slade kissed him, there was a pretty good chance Dick would forget about WE altogether and never be seen or heard from again.

Dick finished his coffee and left without saying goodbye.

* * *

The other interns were subdued that morning. Except for Stephanie and Cass, who kept whispering to each other over on their side of the room, nobody was really talking. 

Dick could understand why. Today they would find out who Mr. Wayne was making his new personal assistant. No matter how mature they all were, there were bound to be some hurt feelings and disappointed hopes. Dick refreshed his email over and over again, waiting for something, anything, from Mr. Wayne.

At 11:23, Dick’s phone finally rang. He looked up and saw that it was Mr. Wayne’s extension that was calling. Hope sparked and fizzled in his chest.

He picked up at once and said, “This is Dick.”

“Hello, Dick. Could you and Cassandra come speak to me in my office for a moment?” Mr. Wayne said.

Dick’s spark of hope went out at once. If Mr. Wayne needed to see both of them, then this couldn’t be about the job. Dick glanced over his shoulder at Cass, seeing that she was focused on her computer screen, typing furiously.

“Sure,” Dick said. “Now?”

“If you’re both free,” Mr. Wayne said.

“Now should be fine. I’ll tell her.”

Mr. Wayne said thank you and hung up. Dick put the phone back on the receiver.

Then he turned to Cass again and said, “Hey, Cass? That was Mr. Wayne. He said he needs us for something.”

Cass looked up at him and nodded, getting up to follow Dick down the hall and over to Mr. Wayne’s office.

Mr. Wayne was seated at his desk when they arrived. He looked up at them when they came in and said, “Ah, good. Please, have a seat.”

He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. Dick stepped aside and let Cass take the one on the right, and then he sat down in the one on the left.

“How are you both doing this morning?” Mr. Wayne asked.

“Great,” Cass said, shrugging. She was sitting up very straight, her hands clasped on her knees and not leaning on the back of the chair. Dick wasn’t either, he realized, and forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down. This couldn’t be about the job, he reminded himself. Mr. Wayne would never turn him down in front of another employee.

“I have some good news for the two of you,” Mr. Wayne said, smiling at them both again. “You got the job.”

This announcement was met with a moment of silence. Dick and Cass looked over at each other. He felt as confused as Cass looked.

“Uh,” Dick said, brilliantly. “I’m sorry?”

Mr. Wayne’s smile got a little wider, and he said, “You’re _both_ hired.”

Dick’s flare of hope sparked back up again. But he still didn’t understand, and the hope and the confusion were warring in his head.

“Alfred and I had a long talk after he announced his retirement,” Mr. Wayne said. “After we discussed all of his duties, it occurred to me that he did quite a bit more than I reasonably should have expected out of one employee. So I have decided to replace him with two personal assistants instead of one. I trust that the two of you will not have any difficulty working together?”

Cass and Dick exchanged another look. As one, they turned back to Mr. Wayne, shrugging and frowning.

“No, of course not,” Dick said, and Cass nodded her agreement.

“Good,” Mr. Wayne said.

The unreality of it all was getting to Dick, but slowly it was sinking in: he got the job. Cass got it too, but that was fine. It was a lot of responsibility, and Dick liked Cass. He knew that they would work well together.

“Mr. Wayne,” Dick said. “Thank you.”

Cass didn’t say anything, but when Dick glanced back over at her he saw that she was beaming.

“You’re welcome. I feel very fortunate to have the two of you on staff,” Mr. Wayne said.

“When do we start?” Cass asked.

“Is tomorrow too soon?” Mr. Wayne asked.

They shook their heads.

“Of course, Alfred’s workspace will need to be reorganized so that there is room for both of you,” Mr. Wayne said. “Just be patient and we’ll get everything settled.”

It was really happening. He didn’t have to take Slade’s mysterious job offer. He could get his own place at last, move out of his apartment with his five roommates. Mr. Wayne didn’t care about all of the crap going down because of Mr. March. It was a miracle. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Then Dick remembered the others, and guilt coiled uneasily in Dick’s stomach.

Jason. Harper. Duke. Stephanie. The four of them needed the job as much as Dick did and were not going to be happy.

“For the rest of the day you can go ahead with your regular intern duties,” Mr. Wayne said, moving on. “I still need to contact the other applicants and inform them of my decision, so keep it between the two of you for now.”

Cass nodded and Dick said, “We can do that.”

“Good. Thank you,” Mr. Wayne said, and got up.

Dick and Cass got the message, and let Mr. Wayne escort them out.

He and Cass headed back to the interns’ corner, and Dick was so lost in conflicting thoughts and feelings about this that it didn’t occur to him that he and Cass might need to come up with some kind of excuse for why Mr. Wayne would want to talk to them.

Sure enough, as soon as they walked around the corner, Jason, Stephanie, Harper, and Duke all looked up at them.

“What did Mr. Wayne want?” Duke asked.

Dick looked at Cass. She looked at him.

“He asked us if we’d be willing to work some gala thing coming up over the summer,” Dick said, waving a hand.

The four of them looked from Dick over at Cass, and Cass nodded again.

He thought he sounded convincing, but Dick could tell from the way they were all exchanging silent looks and examining both him and Cass that they didn’t buy it.

No one questioned them further, however. Dick went back to his desk and Cass went back to hers, and Dick resigned himself to the fact that by the end of the day, a few of the people in the room might resent him.

* * *

Harper got a call and headed over to Mr. Wayne’s office just before lunch. Dick didn’t want to have to wait around to look at Harper’s disappointed face after Mr. Wayne broke the news, so he decided to leave for lunch early.

Weirdly, Harper didn’t appear to be all that upset when he got back. In fact, she seemed downright chipper, as did Duke, who had apparently been called into Mr. Wayne’s office while Dick was gone.

Then Jason was called into Mr. Wayne’s office, and Dick braced himself, but Jason came back from his office with his hands in his pockets, and spent thirty minutes badly whistling “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston until Tim finally begged him to shut up.

Stephanie was the only one who did _not_ look happy. She and Cass had both been on their phones a lot, and Dick had a feeling that Cass had already told Stephanie that she and Dick got Alfred’s job.

But that didn’t explain why Jason, Harper, and Duke were so happy.

At last, at 2:48, Stephanie was summoned to Mr. Wayne’s office. Cass was silent and still the whole time she was gone, leaning droopily in her seat like a wilting flower.

In the meantime, Jason started bullying Tim.

“There’s a high school three blocks from here that does the GED tests every Saturday.”

Tim ignored this, not even bothering to look up from his computer screen.

“You said that money isn’t a concern. The tests aren’t that expensive and you don’t have to take them all in one day,” Jason said.

“I can pay for the tests,” Tim said.

“So why don’t you? You could go a couple of weekends from now, get it over with.”

Tim didn’t say anything.

Jason, undeterred, went on.

“If you think you’re not going to pass the tests, Gotham Public Library offers GED classes for free.”

“I don’t think I would need to study that much,” Tim said.

“Ok, so what is it exactly that’s preventing you from taking the tests?” Jason asked.

Tim shrugged unhelpfully, but didn’t answer the question.

Dick found it mysterious that Jason was actually _helping_ Tim. Or trying to, anyway. Tim didn’t really seem interested in the assistance.

“Well?” Jason said.

Tim shot Jason an annoyed look, then turned back to his computer and kept working.

Dick was about to tell Jason to leave Tim alone, but then Stephanie appeared in the entryway to their corner. She was triumphant with her hands on her hips, smiling widely.

“Congratulate me, you guys,” she said, and they all looked over at her.

Duke looked up at her and said, “For…?”

“I’m moving up!” Stephanie said.

“You got Alfred’s job?” Harper guessed.

Stephanie shook her head.

“Well, no, I didn’t get Alfred’s job. But I did get _a_ job! I’m not going to be an intern anymore!”

Feeling weirdly relieved, Dick smiled up at her and said, “Congrats. What job?”

Stephanie came around the boys’ desk and went around to her own, saying, “Mr. Wayne’s moving me to PR. I’m going to be the new administrative assistant in the department.”

Dick frowned, thinking about Alice Smythe, the previous administrative assistant. He’d just seen her last week. She hadn’t mentioned anything about leaving.

“What about Alice? Did she quit?” Dick asked Stephanie.

“Oh no,” Stephanie said, waving a hand. “I don’t really know what happened, but Jervis Tetch got fired. Mr. Wayne put Alice in charge of the department in his stead so her position needed to be filled, so I’m filling it.”

Dick’s mouth opened in shock, but he didn’t say anything. He could put two and two together. Slade had said that he was investigating something in the PR department. Now Jervis was fired and Alice promoted. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

Before Dick could ask anything else, however, Duke asked, “So if you didn’t get Alfred’s job...then who _did_ get it?”

Dick looked over his shoulder at Cassandra. She was already looking at him.

Jason snorted and said, “I knew it.”

“Wait. Both of you?” Harper asked them.

Dick shrugged and said, “Mr. Wayne said he needed two to replace Alfred, so he picked me and Cass.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense,” Barbara said.

Dick looked around at Harper, Duke, Stephanie, and Jason. None of them seemed upset. Of course, he understood why Stephanie wasn’t upset, but he still didn’t understand why the others weren’t more moody.

“So...that’s it, then,” DIck said. “Whoever bet on me and Cass won the bet.”

Jason shrugged and said, “Well, you only won the bet in the sense that you got Alfred’s job. We didn’t prepare for all outcomes, though.”

“What are you talking about?” Dick asked.

“I’m moving to HR. They want me to answer phones and process drug tests and shit, I don’t know,” Jason said, shrugging.

“I’m going to R&D,” Harper said. “Mr. Wayne said that a bunch of departments were leaning on Alfred too, so he made a position for me working under Mr. Fox.”

“I’m going to be Ms. Kyle’s personal assistant,” Duke said.

Dick gazed around at them, stunned.

“I’m excited about working for Ms. Kyle,” Duke went on. “She’s nice.”

“I like Mr. Fox. If I can’t work for Mr. Wayne then I’m happy to work for Mr. Fox. His daughter Tam works for R&D too and she’s awesome,” Harper said.

“Well,” Barbara said, sounding smug. “It looks like everything worked out for everybody.”

Dick glanced over at Tim. Tim didn’t seem to be paying attention to the conversation, and seemed to be writing some kind of computer code that Dick couldn’t at all decipher. He felt the sudden unusual compulsion to pick up where Jason left off and pester Tim about the GED tests.

“For the most part,” Jason said, cocking an eyebrow as he stared pointedly over at Tim.

Tim got up and said, “I’ll be right back.”

He left, disappearing around the corner.

As soon as he was gone, Duke turned to Jason and said, “I thought you hated him.”

Jason shrugged one shoulder.

Dick thought this was the only answer they were going to get, but then Jason rolled his eyes and sighed.

“We see the same therapist, ok? A couple of weeks ago when I blew up at Oliver Queen, Bruce sent me to see her and I ran into Tim in the building. He might be an annoying little hacking jackass, but that doesn’t mean I actively want him to suffer,” Jason said.

Dick stared at Jason for a long moment, until Jason finally looked over at him and snapped, “What?”

Dick shrugged.

“I think we should all go out to celebrate,” Dick said, finally looking away from Jason. “Tonight at 7? The Outlaw? I’ll make sure Tim gets the invitation.”

Duke smiled at Dick and said, “That sounds great.”

“Can I bring somebody with me?” Barbara asked behind him.

Dick turned and looked over at her and said, “Sure. Bring whoever you want.”

“I’ll be there!” Stephanie said, and Harper said, “Me too!”

After that, everybody went back to normal, chatting excitedly about their gathering that night and their new jobs.

Dick didn’t participate in the conversation. Instead he pulled out his phone and unlocked the screen. There were still a couple of loose ends he needed to be taken care of.

* * *

Dick walked with Jason and Duke to The Outlaw, showing them Cass’s secret tunnel exit from WE. They arrived at the bar in good time and claimed a table for their group.

Fortunately, the bar wasn’t too crowded on a Monday evening, so there was enough room for all of them to fit around the same table when Barbara showed up with her mystery Italian woman.

The woman’s name turned out to be Helena. She was a teacher and just as beautiful as Duke had claimed she was. Barbara explained that they’d met at some kind of education conference.

Stephanie and Cass showed up next, hand in hand. They got drinks before they joined the rest of the group, and sat so close to each other that they were almost on top of each other.

Tim had been evasive when Dick invited him to come hang out with them at The Outlaw, so he was a little shocked when Tim actually showed up.

Tim wasn’t alone either.

He came over to the table with his two guests and waved at them all.

“Hey everyone,” Tim said, and gestured to the tall dark-haired guy at his left. “This is Conner.” He gestured to the redhead on his other side. “And this is Bart.”

Dick said hello to the newcomers with everybody else, but exchanged a surreptitious glance with Stephanie. If what Stephanie had claimed was correct, Tim was cheating on one or both of them.

“I’m going to get a drink. Babe, do you want anything?” Conner asked Tim.

Tim shook his head.

“Ok. Bart?” Conner asked, looking over Tim’s head at the redhead, who was somehow even shorter than Tim.

“Nachos,” Bart said.

“Bart, for real? I only have like thirty bucks right now,” Conner said.

“What if I promise not to drink anything?” Bart asked him.

Conner rolled his eyes as he turned to leave, saying, “Fine. But I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Love you!” Bart said, blowing him a kiss.

Watching this, Dick frowned.

Everyone scootched in as much as they could to make room for Tim, Bart, and Conner. When Tim and Bart were seated, waiting for Conner to return, Duke looked over at Tim.

“So,” Duke said casually, gesturing at Tim and Bart and Conner over at the bar. “How did you all meet?”

“We went to the same summer camp when we were kids,” Bart said, shrugging, already fiddling with a napkin and twisting it in his hands. “We’ve been inseparable pretty much ever since, but we didn’t all start dating until sometime last year."

There was a smacking noise, and Dick looked over to see that Stephanie had slapped her own forehead.

“Oh my god. Polyamory. I’m so dumb. I forgot about polyamory,” she said.

Bart and Tim exchanged a bemused look.

Conner returned with his drink and Bart’s nachos soon enough, and Tim and Bart inhaled the food between stories about their summer camp days. Tim seemed looser, brighter in the presence of his two boyfriends in a way that he never seemed at work. He almost seemed younger, and a little part of Dick that had been tied up in knots ever since hearing about Tim’s lack of education finally loosened.

He couldn’t completely calm down, though. As the drinks kept flowing and the group got louder and spread out around the bar, Dick couldn’t seem to stop checking his phone. He’d texted Slade hours ago to tell him that he wouldn’t be taking his job offer, but Slade hadn’t replied. Dick was sure this wasn’t a good sign, but it was fine, really. It was just a weekend-long one night stand, that was all.

He was trying to listen to something Cass was telling him, Stephanie, and Duke about Hong Kong when he heard the bar’s front door open.

He looked over the crowd of heads and saw a familiar head of long red hair.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back,” Dick said, and got up from the table.

He made a beeline for Roy.

“Hey man,” Roy said when Dick reached him. “Sorry I’m late. Donna said she’d watch the baby, but then she got stuck at work. I had to wait until Garth got home.”

“It’s fine,” Dick said. “I’m glad you came.”

Roy looked around at The Outlaw appreciatively.

“Nice place,” he said. “It feels good to get out for a change.”

“I bet,” Dick said, and put his arm around Roy’s shoulders. “There’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

Dick ushered Roy over to Jason, who was standing up at the bar having an enthusiastic conversation with the bartender. When Jason turned around, his white streak gleaming in the bar’s dim light, he felt Roy’s shoulders stiffen.

Jason looked at Dick, smirking, and said, “Hey.” Then he glanced over at Roy. Something flashed in his eyes as his smirk faded into a frown, but he said nothing.

“Jason, you remember Roy, right?” Dick asked.

Jason nodded, still saying nothing.

“Cool. Roy, Jason says you never called him. Jason, Roy says he did try to call you, but the number you gave him was for an Indian restaurant. I think you two have a lot to talk about.”

Then Dick shoved Roy in Jason’s direction, and Roy must’ve been in shock or something, because he went forward with surprisingly little resistance.

“Have fun,” Dick said, grinning at them both, and headed back over to the other side of the bar, where Barbara and Helena and Harper were talking.

“What are you up to?” Barbara asked when he approached, shooting him a suspicious look.

Dick looked back across the bar, and saw that Jason and Roy were still standing together. Jason still looked a little annoyed, and Roy looked sheepish, but Roy was saying something, and Jason was listening.

He turned back to Barbara and shrugged, saying, “Nothing.”

Barbara gave him a look like she didn’t believe him, and then she turned back to Harper and Helena, who were talking about colleges or something.

Dick allowed himself to fade into the background, for the moment an observer.

Everything—or almost everything—was right with his world, and it was a difficult fact for his brain to accept. He’d thought he was doomed when Mr. March was arrested, but Mr. Wayne had hired him anyway. Rather than being bitter about being turned down, all of his friends were happy about their own new jobs. Jason and Roy were talking and Tim and his boyfriends had rejoined Cass, Duke, and Stephanie. They were all laughing about something Stephanie was saying.

Only Slade’s complete and utter indifference left Dick feeling a pang of regret.

Then he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Dick pulled it out and looked at the screen.

There was only a short message.

 _Pity. Come over to my place tonight_.

Dick couldn’t help the small smile that curled on his lips as he tapped out his response.

_Thank god. For a while there I thought you were going to leave me to fend off paparazzi all on my lonesome._

_Haven’t you heard? You’re old news now. The CEO of HUSH Beauty was arrested for vehicular manslaughter this afternoon._

Dick raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know anything about HUSH Beauty, but it sounded like quite the scandal.

 _Sounds serious. Tell me more about it tonight?_ Dick wrote, and then tapped send.

 _I can if you ever deign to show up_ , was Slade’s response.

 _I’m busy right now. Be patient_ , Dick told him. Then, just because he knew it would make Slade roll his eyes, he added, _I’m worth the wait ;)_

After that Dick slipped his phone back into his pocket and turned back to listen to whatever it was Barbara and Helena and Harper were talking about. There would be plenty of time for Slade later. For now, Dick was going to enjoy this night with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks again to NobodyisHome and Rainicorn2015 for being beta readers. 
> 
> Unfortunately I will probably have to take a hiatus from longer fics for a while because this is the part of the year where I have to do a fuck ton of reading for work. I have some ideas for some things to work on around October/November-ish though!
> 
> Sorry I have been bad about responding to comments and stuff lately. I hope you enjoyed the conclusion of Qualified :)

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be posted on Wednesdays.


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